My Mosaic

I don't think it's being lazy @Bow it's more about doing what is right for you and what you need in the moment.

Yeah I guess so @Snowie

I don’t even know who I would turn to at the moment if things go pair shaped

It's hard when we feel like we have no one to turn to @Bow

That trust, compassion, loyalty is hard to find. Even harder to keep.

There are many on here that care hon. I know it's not the same as someone being there in person for you.

@Bow

I’m so proud of you for making it to your psych appointment. I would have completely understood if it had been too hard to get there.

I can see why it would’ve been hurtful for him to just let you drive home if you’d shared safety concerns with him, and why it would have felt like an insensitive time for him to be talking about internal resources. I’m glad he was able to recognise the shut down/dissociation. It’s so frustrating not being able to communicate what’s going on/what you need. Hopefully as he gets to know you better he’ll be better able to help you come out of that so that it’s easier for you to share the things you want to.

And again, making it to the appointment today would have been a huge effort. It makes sense that you’d need time to recover. If doing some craft or Lego feels like it would be a helpful distraction, I’d love to see anything you make.

(Edit: Didn’t see your message about not knowing who to reach out to until after I posted my reply. Could you talk to LL or SCBS so that you can say the thoughts out loud and not have to feel alone with them? Or could you reach out to you old old SW again? Even if she can’t change the circumstances it might be helpful to hear a familiar and caring voice? That feeling of struggling with who to reach out to is so heavy and painful though and I don’t want my suggestions to imply that I’m not hearing you about how hard that is. 💛 )

@Snowie

How are you going?

💛 for both of you.

Thanks @Snowie I appreciate that and yes know that you and others are here but yeah it’s not the same and there just aren’t the people around here like it used to be. And there’s stuff that I just get in trouble for saying.

feel so let down by whoever is suppose to be my SW now. Nothing today.

@Bow

Just edited my reply above as I’d missed a post while I’d been typing it out.

Yeah I get it @Bow

In person is very different to on here and you are limited in what you can say. I agree with that.

Getting our hopes up that someone will contact us and then they dont is hard.

@Wintersweet I hope your day is going well

Thanks @Wintersweet I’m really thankful that in the end my psychologist got it and didn’t push me to talk about stuff that just wasn’t going to come out or be anything helpful today. Just disappointed I guess that he didn’t really do any safety planning with me. Oh well.

yes I could reach out to LL or SCBS or maybe even my old old SW yes. Maybe I will do that tomorrow.

again thank you

how are you? How was your day today?

@Bow

Yes, good that he got there eventually with recognising where you were at, I definitely understand why it would be disappointing that he didn’t do any safety planning with you though.

I think I’m ok. Able to sufficiently compartmentalise at least.

@Snowie

I hope your day is going well too, or that if it isn’t, that you are able to reach out and have someone give you support/space to talk through what’s going on for you.

Urgh they ask too many questions and then just repeat it all back to you 😩😩