My Mosaic

@Bow teary can be a rough place to be for sure hun. Do you think you need to cry and get it all out do you think, or find another way to move through the feelings?

I'm doing okay, chugging along as per usual! Kitties have been keeping me on my toes, but when they're purring on my lap it makes everything just a bit better hey ^_^

@Bow

I’m sorry that your SW was off today and that for the disappointment with the team leader. That would have made it really hard to go hang out with your friend if she didn’t know how hard things have been and you didn’t have the words/energy and/or didn’t feel ok to tell her. That all would have been really draining.

I hope your psychologist is able to hear how hard it is to even be at the session when you see them tomorrow, that they’re able to validate you about how hard it is, and that they’re able to meet you where you are at.

I’m pretty exhausted after my psych session today. I tried my best to stay present during the session and to engage, with mixed results.

@Jynx just pushing them down and trying to ignore them. Feel like that’s the best option for tonight. Don’t feel like I have capacity to keep myself safe otherwise.

im glad your doing ok and your kitties are keep you on your toes. Mr Groot is enjoying his sunny hammock and then curls up on my lap when he can.

I started with another new SW. she’s a cat lady and I’m hoping she will be a good fit

It’s felt like a big day @Wintersweet but she really hasn’t been.

im dreading my psychologist appointment tomorrow cause I feel like this psych has really big expectations. Like I’ve had 2 semi long term psychologist in the past and a couple of short term ones and I’ve never really sat there and worked out some ‘therapy goals’, but this one keeps mentioning it. And yeah I understand that there needs to be things to work on, to aim towards etc. just really not use to that. I’ve always just worked on things where I’m at. Trauma stuff yes, ED stuff, but yeah I don’t know, it feels kinda forced maybe? What if other more pressing stuff comes up am I suppose to just ignore it? Urgh. I don’t know. There just feels like more pressure. For me, with so many different things going on I just need a safe space to be. Rambling sorry.

Urgh I can’t see what you have written when I reply like this… I’ll add more

Sounds like today’s psychologist appointment was a bit rough @Wintersweet ? Or is that how a lot of your session are? I get it! Mine are too. Have you been with your psych for long?

Got much on this weekend?

@Bow fair hun, keeping safe definitely always a priority. Hope you are taking things slow and gentle <3

Aww all curled up in a hammock, SO CUTE! There's a little hammock that's part of the big cat tree I got for my bebbies so Razz is often curled up in there, little fuzzy ball that he is!!

Oh fingers crossed! Cat people usually have pretty good energy, so I hope that it works out for you!!

@Bow

It makes sense to me that it would feel like it had been a really big day, especially given context. I can also understand that sometimes it feels safer to just push that down.

Hoping that you’re able to talk to the psych tomorrow about how you’re feeling about the session. It can be really tricky knowing when to push ahead with the big picture goals and when to focus on what currently feels overwhelming. It’s scary when there are things that are really pressing and we don’t know how someone might respond to us wanting to focus on that.

I like how you explained it: that there’s a lot going on and you just need a safe space to be. I wonder if you could write that down for your psych? Explain that you need their help to get better regulated before you’ll have capacity to be in the right headspace to think about therapy goals?

My session was more tiring than rough, but I’m expecting the emotional flood might hit me later. Will try and use the skills I’ve been working on if that happens but it’s always tricky in the moment. I’ve been seeing this psych for a few months. She’s really good and I’m really grateful for her, even though it’s often really hard work and even though sometimes it feels pointless. Which is all to say that I think it’s pretty normal to have complicated feelings about psych sessions!

My weekend should be ok. I’m going to a thing that could be an anxiety/OCD trigger but I think I have a plan that should make it manageable. We’ll see!

Crawled into bed and it’s feeling so overwhelming

tears coming

@Bow

Only just saw your reply now. Hoping you’ve managed to get some sleep. Will be thinking of you tomorrow.

Thinking of you both @Bow and @Snowie 💛