My Mosaic

@Bow

I’m sorry to hear that your brother’s cancer has progressed. What he’s going through doesn’t make your struggles any less real or valid. Both are hard. Feeling that you have to pretend you’re ok is another layer of difficulty too. Hoping that being able to share here and with your SW/psych might create some spaces where it’s easier to be honest that you’re struggling.

You made sense when explaining your concerns with telling your SW about the ED struggles. I have no idea if this will be helpful, so feel free to ignore it if it isn’t, but would it be possible to talk to her about how your ED makes you feel in a way that doesn’t endorse what it’s saying? Like “my ED is telling me XYZ. I’m really struggling to disengage and struggling with the self-loathing/eating/etc.” Or you could just say that the ED thoughts have been really loud without saying what they are and then say how that’s affecting you?

I really like what @Snowie said. Hopefully the SW can also recognise that how people think about themselves and others can be totally different. It would be scary but you’ve been doing well at testing the waters with people. Also hoping the psych can be of help when you see him, especially as he seemed keen to understand what it’s like for you.

Ohh some more kittens would be fun @Bow Just as long as you don't keep any!!!!

I guess I'm lucky and don't have to wait until the kids are in bed. They do it themselves now.

Im not much of a talker either.

Hey @Wintersweet Ihope the say has been kind to you

Stay warm @Snowie @Wintersweet i need to log off cause things are spiraling and not feeling ok

take care

Hey @Bow sorry to hear things are feeling so overwhelming, hope you are looking after yourself and please reach out to crisis services if things get really gnarly. Sending you <3

Talk soon @Bow 

@Bow

Sorry that things are so hard tonight and that you needed to log off. You’re dealing with a lot and it makes sense that you’d be feeling a lot.

(Also, if my suggestion was unhelpful, please let me know so I can apologise. If so, and if you think you can explain what was unhelpful without that making things worse for you, I’d also value knowing what was unhelpful so I can be more mindful in the future.)

@Jynx cant believes I missed you! Big sad face 😢 honestly thought you had left too

Hi @Snowie @Wintersweet

today’s been a bit of a mess. SW was off today. Got a text from the team leader- never spoke with her before. I was disappointed, think I’d worked myself up to talking about stuff and then for nothing. I went and had a quick cuppa with my friend. I realized while being with her that she really has clue how rough things have been. Oh well. Felt rather unwell when standing up in that cafe, was a bit scary. Didn’t really do much else. Spent a couple of hours sleeping, safest place to be.

Psychologist tomorrow morning which I’m kinda dreading. Just feels too hard. SW will maybe see me afterwards.

@Wintersweet what you said was fine. Thank you.

sorry not got much to give today. I’m sorry. Hope your days have been ok?

Aww it's okay @Bow - yeah I'm still floating about.

Hope you're doing okay <3

Not really. Feeling very teary this afternoon @Jynx

how are you?? I miss you and your jynx-isums