My Mosaic

My new? Support worker came to visit this morning. I was heaps anxious…. hesitant in her coming alone by herself. Not sure what she will be like. I had only met her on Monday. But she was alright. Asked how I was, which you’d think it’s a given when they all come do home visits, but she asked, waited for a response and then responded…. not many do they. I think it’s often an automatic flying comment that gets lost in the initial greeting and arrival. Or maybe that’s just me. But I liked that she seemed genuinely interested and paid attention. She recognized it’s a hard day but I wasn’t really able to elaborate on that. Too difficult with someone new.

but we talked and she asked questions on general conversation not too deep. Which I appreciated. Slow going. But also frustrating to have to start again and not really get the support I need while building a relationship again

oh and @Jynx shes a cat lady too

@Bow

That’s really good! I’m glad she was also invested in understanding like the new pdoc yesterday. Sounds like she was also respectful of what felt ok for you, which I imagine is the best way to build trust, not rushing it but staying engaged.

The frustration at having to start over is super understandable. Especially as you’re having to do that with multiple people. How does it feel to try and hold both the frustration with the situation and the appreciation of her approach? I know I find it really hard to hold two feelings that feel opposite at the same time, but I’ve been trying to practice it because otherwise I lose the good entirely.

Yeah I struggle to hold 2 feelings like that @Wintersweet but I can see how it could be a good thing to try and make the effort to do so.

how are you doing today? How’s your day been?

I had a short but late quick cat nap on the couch. Was feeling super tired. I try not to nap, but sometimes it’s hard not to! And on the couch will almost always guarantee it being a short one cause my daughter will without a doubt come and ask for a snack!!

@Snowie how did ect go today?

On the verge of tears feeling so overwhelmed and big sads

Thinking of you @Bow , and sitting with you this evening.

I hope things feel a little lighter soon, you're never alone here <3

~ @Honeymoon 

Thanks @Honeymoon just too many things going on at the moment I wanna hide and sleep

Hello @honeymoon 😊

Hope this works

@Bow

You’re not alone, I find it really hard to hold the two together too! I also find it hard not to nap when I know I shouldn’t, so you’re not alone in that either. Napping on the couch so D wakes you up is a clever idea!

I can hear how overwhelming the sadness feels right now. I know it might not feel ok to cry but it feels important for me to encourage you that it is ok.

My day was ok. I managed to do most of the hours at work that I was meant to. Then saw my psych which was an uncomfortable (but I think helpful?) conversation. I have pet guinea pigs and one is really sick. I thought she was going to have to be put to sleep yesterday but the vet has given me one more medication I can try.

Hey @Bow

ECT went ok. Next one is on Friday in 3 weeks so back to the normal day.

Had issues with mum yesterday, but thats about the norm now.

I read you had your new SW out to your house. Hopefully this one is more permanent.

How's today going for you?