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zipperSenior Contributor
Hello ladies
I am a wife who has had a husband with depression for 10 years now. He has had multiple hospitalisations, long series of ECT's, and is now not able to work. I would love to hear from ladies who have been, are in, my shoes and was wondering if you would answer a few questions for me.
1. Where have you needed the most help, and, could you find it?
2. What has been your hardest struggle?
thanks in advance and all my best wishes
ZZ
In response to: Wives caring for Husbands
TootsySenior Contributor
In response to: Re: Wives caring for Husbands
Shaz51Senior Contributor
Anytime my friend @Tootsy
Will tag you xx if you like 😀☕️☕️
In response to: Re: Wives caring for Husbands
tymeModerator
Good on you @Tootsy - @Shaz51 knows first hand what it is like. I'm glad you have connected with us 🙂
In response to: Re: Wives caring for Husbands
Shaz51Senior Contributor
@Tootsy
Finding the balance is hard sometimes and with lots of ups and downs along the way
Here for you anytime xx
I am off to bed now , hope you sleep well and keep in touch
@tyme , @Former-Member 💤💤
In response to: Wives caring for Husbands
Jo4123New Contributor
Hi I'm new to the forum so sorry if I'm posting in the wrong place.
Like so many of you I have a husband who suffers with depression and anxiety. He takes medication for the anxiety but would never go to counselling. His self medication has made him an alcoholic and paranoid. The paranoid delusions have been getting worse. He believes the neighbours at the bottom of the garden spy on us and this is ramping up his anxiety and anger. Last week he exploded in fury and woke up in a depressed state. He has done this before but has managed to pull himself out of it after a few days. This time is different. He seemed to be recovering but tonight I came home and he was drunk and angry and just kept looping around saying the same things about the neighbours. I can't see how he can let this go. He is threatening to leave as he says the situation is hurting his head, but won't go to see the doctor (it's the neighbours fault not his!). Is there any way I can get him help? I'm at my wits end and feel stressed lonely and hurt.
In response to: Re: Wives caring for Husbands
Unknown userMember
hey @Jo4123, welcome to the forums ❤️ I'm TuxedoCat, one of the peer-moderators here. Glad that you've joined us and thank you for having the courage to share your story with us.
This sounds like a really distressing situation for you and your husband. It sounds like you have been really caring and understanding of him, but it must be really frustrating knowing your husband would benefit from some help, yet he won't go to some counselling. What have you tried so far?
Sometimes when our partners use alcohol or explode in fury, it can make us feel unsafe. Are there times when you feel unsafe at all?
Take care and here to listen,
TuxedoCat
In response to: Re: Wives caring for Husbands
Shaz51Senior Contributor
Hello and welcome @Jo4123
Sending you lots of understanding hugs
And am glad you are here
My husband had cancelled all help and we have had lots of ups and downs
In our case , my husband finally had a breakdown and a hospital stay and had his medication adjusted and added
@Former-Member , @Tootsy , @Carlachris
In response to: Re: Wives caring for Husbands
Jo4123New Contributor
Hi thanks for the support. I have never felt physically unsafe. He is only verbally violent. I just sort of numb myself when he's raging.The past week I have felt extremely stressed but have reached out to two people I know for the first time. It is a relief to share and I don't feel quite so alone. We live in a small town and so I've always worried that if I spoke to someone it might get back to him which would make matters much worse, but I can't do this on my own any more.
In response to: Re: Wives caring for Husbands
Shaz51Senior Contributor
Ohh @Jo4123 , that is very true of me too , this is why Sane forums have helped me soo much to help my husband xx
@Former-Member
In response to: Re: Wives caring for Husbands
Unknown userMember
hey @Jo4123, I'm so glad to hear that you've reached out to a few people. And I think it's totally understandable to be worried about it getting around the town. I grew up in a small town and I think I know the worries you're feeling.
You're not alone ❤️
Here are a few ideas for supporting your husband
I also wonder if you have support for your own mental health?
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.
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