Wives caring for Husbands

Hey @Tootsy ,

Sounds challenging. Please look after yourself. I know he says there's 2 sides to every story... can we say that there are 3 sides? yours, his and the truth?

Please don't take it too hard on yourself.

We are here to support you.

@tyme thank you I needed to here that, I do take it personally and I know he can’t help it with his conditions, but as I’ve told him it breaks a bit of me every time…be it he thinks I am always attracted to someone else etc. I live in anxiety now, I don’t even dare to look at someone out of common courtesy and definitely won’t catch up with friends as he thinks there is an opportunity for me to stray. I have no one to turn to. Today was a better day though so I feel somewhat better and tomorrow I return to work after some time off. Thank you for hearing my vent x

I hear how hard it is. As though your life is dictated by the insecurities of someone @Tootsy .

Do you talk to a professional about it? As much as partnership is about give-take, if it is wearing you out, I wonder if there are strategies you can use? e.g. respectfully challenging his beliefs?

My worry is that if you "dare not look at anyone", if may give further reason to believe you do want to?

What do you think?

I may be totally wrong, hence feel free to take my thoughts with a grain of salt. I have no intention of offending anyone - just in case I do.

That's wonderful to hear you are so supportive of your husband @Tootsy .

Please continue reaching out here. Simply knowing you are not alone in this can help.

I hear how hard it must have been for your husband to get hurt. I can see why he is carrying this hurt.

That's amazing. That's what will get you through @Tootsy

We are having a Live Sunday Hangout which will start at 7pm AEST. You are welcome to join us if you are interested JOIN US! Live Sunday Hangout 7-8:30pm AEST

I will be there too @tyme , @Tootsy , @Healandlove , @Krishna

Thank you for the tag @Shaz51 .

@Tootsy @tyme @zipper @Jynx @PizzaMondo @Former-Member

I read from the beginning of this post.

One thing I can say is that I have never called myself my husband's carer. I refer to myself as a support person for him. For me that helps separate that I can still support him while stepping away empathetically when it becomes too much. My husband suffers from depression and complex ptsd. He is going to the psychologist once a month and we also attend a couple psychologist once every 8 weeks. I will start continue with own psychologist support starting June.

I too wonder why me at times and how much easier and enjoyable life would be if I had a husband that didn't have these challenges. I mourn the loss of whoever he used to be before he had his mental breakdown in early 2022. But I remind myself that all of these problems were always there and he was just good at hiding them. Until he couldn't anymore. I also do feel sometimes how long I can continue to be with him. Our children are young and needs us both. I take it one day at a time and think about the progress he has made. As long as he makes progress then I feel there's is still hope for us to come out stronger on the other side. However it is exhausting and heartbreaking and I don't think I would be around if it weren't for the kids. I tell myself time will tell if we can survive this.

We also just got a puppy and I feel just patting him gives me a sense of peace. I hope my husband can benefit from this in time. He did say yesterday that it was weird but that he felt happy for the first time in a long time. I hope he bonds with puppy and really continues to heal.

Thinking of you all and imagining all of us having a cup of tea together. 🥰