I've had really bad day yesterday & today

@utopia

Thanks for your message !!

I think I need to raise above my feelings and realize how people treat me is not a reflection of me. To be honest I am not sure if I could talk to my brother about how I feel etc. I know its not him.

I didn't have the best day today, I'm still struggling. I see my specialist on Tuesday and I can talk to her then. I know how strong I can be and how much I have been through and I think I can get through this too.

I am glad you had enough fight in you to get yourself to hospital and have people there to care for you. I mite be anxious but I think it is normal. And thank you so much for caring and reaching out to me.

I will think about hospital next week though.

Hi @Former-Member

Its quite diffcult being around her and to be honest I don't think she as matured or developed much as a person. Plus she is a very insecure person and I think that speaks volumes. But at the end of the day I can't change her and the only person I have control over is me. From an earlier age I have been compassionate and caring towards my mum and I know what she did was not healthy and this would never be an option for me.

I mite feel pretty rotten and anxious and I realize when I can't manage that I should consider going into hospital. I don't think that is being weak but actually being strong. I think you were strong and brave asking for help and I am glad to hear you reached out for help when you needed it.

I will give Kira a hug from you. I hope you had a nice. Thank you for your support and kind words.

Hi @Appleblossom

You made me smile from your response and I am glad I have bought something positive to the forum. I'm not going too overthink this too much and just do what I need to do to be able to keep moving forward and enjoying my life. I hope you had a nice day

I'm still quite anxious now @Former-Member . My sil is a very difficult person, insecure and controlling.Your absolutely spot on my brother can't stand up to her. When I am feeling up to it, I would like to be able to talk to you some more if you don't mind.

I'm not sure what to do for the best and who to turn atm. I have speciaist appointment on Tuesday and not sure what to say to her and if I should discuss going into hospital. Thank you for your friendship, support and guidance- I really appreciate it.

I hope you had a nice day !!

I agree relationships are hard @MoonGal. I think I will just have to raise above how I feel. When I went to private clinic recently I asked my SIL if she would do the family program- her and my brother and she declined. I thought I would ask before I went in to hospital but I knew she would not want to do anything like this but I thought I would give them the oportunity.

I'm not sure about hospital and I would rather stay out of their if possible. What makes me happy is just being out and about and just enjoying life as much as I can. Thank you for your kind words.

I am still struggling today but I have to keep moving forward @Bridgetjones. But thank you for thinking of me today and wishing me well- it means a lot to me. Hope you have a nice night.

Thank you for your message @Former-Member. Sorry to hear you have not been feeling the best. What as been happening for you? I have always tried to get along with her but she is someone who is always right and needs to dominate the conversation.

I hope your headache eases up for you and that you start to feel better soon too. My thoughts are with you too. ❤️

So much wisdom in this thread.

@Former-MemberI actually think you may be wise not to push the point about discussing it at the moment ... and dealing it with MH team .... your brother is probably struggling with her obstinacy and your and his own pain... its why I say I have to be medicated for other people's problems.

ie that means carry the OTC cost ... body side effects and stigma ... thanks a million ... unaware people.

I have a similar family dynamic currently (triangulation and leverage with a 3rd party and a loved one ... (my son and his 80 yo friend) ... eg .. not completely free and of your own choice.

You have to work out your own strategy .. for best long term outcome for all involved .. feminism and the sisterhood is great ... except not everyone plays by those rules ... and are more contest driven ... not harmony or ethically driven .. dont be too naive ... she isnt .. dont be too giving ... she isnt ... be honest and fair to yourself and long term goals. So when its horses for courses ... treat these horses they way they deserve (not saying vindicitiveness .. but boundaries & expectations etc) but be careful.

The similar type of person ... in my life currently .. is over educated, over confident, over privileged, over sexed and over here... but actually less educated than me and that p***s her off ... so she spends each moment point scoring .. I switched off that game about 3 years ago .. as cant be bothered ... but son has had to deal with it ... I wont go so far to say that she caused his episode .. as I dont play the blame game that much .. but she better pull out a finger and learn a bit of humility before she gets to her death bed .. or she might find it more comfortable in another country .. dont take Oz pensions ... and piss in my ear about how backward we are ... which she did ...

She taught me that phrase ... the Brits used to say it about the yanks after WWII... but its true .. now I know her better .. and I can add a few more choice words but will spare us all the aggravation.

She wont let me speak to my son in his presence ... and has misappropriated his and my words, published it and is trying to get a screen play ...

In a fortnight ... I am going to a writers camp in Torquay... and its going to be a polite but ethical and definite show down ... I hope ... I can pull it off that way. She has had the group by the short and curlies for about 10 years and quite a few are totally sick of it.

I spoke to one lawyer about cease and desist issues ... one step at a time.

@Former-Member I was like you a bit ... how could I be honestly be angry with my parents ... their pain and inadequacy was so obvious from when I was 6 ..

I guess "I sucked it up" and got on with my life ... put shoes on my feet and clothes on my back and my lil sibs etc .. 40 years before "suck it up" became an urban trope.

I was TAUGHT to be angry by therapists .. strange but true. So as it wasnt really a foundational state for my being ... love and respect and work went much deeper ... I wasnt taught about anger til in my 20s .. I probably can also detach from my anger ...my bro was angry .. but that was him and also so obviously not really working for him ...

my mum only had grade 7 school before the WWII so I felt obligated to teach her a lot of therapeutic and integrational ideas .. and she ran with the ball ... and had a lot of good experiences at the end of her life

my anger did develop however against my mother when I was dealing with adolescents ... different story entirely.

... just relate to MI parents and also knowing their good sides .. and loving the ocean ...

@Former-Member

I get the same feeling from my SIL (non acceptance)

When you are in the room with her or in sight of her she watches you like a hawk, I never realized until recently. She treats my parents the same too. I really can't cope with the her anymore so I think I would rather just see her once a year.

I'm sorry to hear about your MIL and have such difficult inlaws- my family of origin was really close until you added the inlaws. I think she as caused me a lot of distress over the years and I need to put my health first and thats what I will be doing in the future.