Suicidal AF

Hey there @Fog it sounds like last night was really hard, how are you travelling this morning? 🌻

And I know you're going through a rough time too @Former-Member how are you managing today? 🐯

@Former-Member 😊

im in the same mental health mindset as the person who started this post. My mental illness means I will have continual negative thoughts and I battle them daily. Last night I talked to life line for an hour or so which was helpful. Today like every other day I'm laying in bed as it's my only safe place. Until I have nightmares again. Thanks for reaching out- life just really sucks at the moment.

That sounds very tough @Fog, I can hear every day at the moment is about managing and getting through. Good on you for reaching out to lifeline last night.

There are a lot of members on the forums who at different times are just taking it day by day. It can be a good place to check in and know that people understand 🌷

Take care today, and if you want someone to get a notification of your post, put a @ in front of their name

@Former-Member and @Fog , am so sorry you are suffering like this at the moment. It's the worst, I know from experience. 😞

@Former-Member , can I ask why staying in bed is not an option for the next few months? (No need to answer if you'd rather not)

My main strategy when things were that bad was distraction or dissociation. However I know there comes a point when distraction doesn't work, things are just too bad. With dissociation, I call it "knocking myself out in my head". You go far away from reality in your head, and become numb. I see it as a safety valve to prevent suicide.

I really feel for you both and hope you can keep safe.

@NatureLover that's a good point to not beat yourself up for needing to stay in bed for a few months during this to actually keep yourself safe. I also use dissociation as a coping mechanism it helps me.

@Fog wrote:

@NatureLover that's a good point to not beat yourself up for needing to stay in bed for a few months during this to actually keep yourself safe.

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Thanks, @Fog , that was what I was trying to say, but you said it much better.

How are you feeling today?

@NatureLover I'm still not in the best headspace but I am giving myself permission to lay in bed and cry. It does feel quite challenging not having any family or friend support. I relied so heavily on my everyday routine to feel connected and now that's gone I do feel allot more lost. I was stable for a year or so and now I'm really at Rock bottom. I am reaching out to life line when I get to bad, trying to do one day at a time

@Fog it's good you're allowing yourself to cry in bed. One day at a time, one hour at a time is good too. Am sorry you're at rock bottom. Do you have a psychologist / psychiatrist?

@NatureLover i used to have both, long term who new me well, all the in and outs of the challenges and struggles, one retired and the other had a stroke so stopped working. So I am now left wth no on going support. I am really fearfull of ending up back in hosipital as that makes me actually worse than better. So i am really scared, as i dont wan tto go so down hill i cant get back up.