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Darkness

Unknown userMember23 Apr 2020, 7:03 pm AEST

Darkness

Well it's been a hellish few weeks, I have fallen into the rabbit hole and there seems no escape this time. The darkness has come and it thicker than the fires of hell.

Things just don't seem to going right at all and my MH is just getting worse and worse. Not sleeping (afraid to sleep) not eating and not taking my meds. I know this doesn't help but why bother because when I am on them I either feel zone out or that they do nothing anyways. I didn't make it work today, got to the front and was physically sick and froze again. Crawled back into bed where I stayed untill I had an unexpected call.

My 3 main MH professional and I in a conference call, at the end of the call I was given a choice be sectioned or have my ex move back in temporarily to provide around the clock monitoring, this means for at least two weeks of him being here making sure I eat, take my meds and be present for all appointments and no SH. I am not happy about either option but because of teenager trauma in a MH hospital I am taking the ex.

I will not be as active as normal but I will check in. but like tonight, I may just support posts as I am struggling to even type this. So @Snowie @eth @Lee82 @Eden1919 @Purplerain @Lotusgirl amd anyone I missed I will be getting the care I need and will be safe. To some of the newest forum members please forgive me if it takes a bit for me to get back to you.

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In response to: Darkness

Lee82Senior Contributor27 May 2020, 12:14 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

How did you go babe? @Former-Member

In response to: Re: Darkness

Unknown userMember27 May 2020, 12:32 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

Hey there everyone 💜

There is so much love on this thread, so I know it makes it really hard when there are breaks or people need to step away for any reason, what are some ways you could manage when a support you love and worry about needs to step away?

In response to: Re: Darkness

Unknown userMember27 May 2020, 12:33 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

It was a super tough session, but the best ones with Nat usually are. I am exhausted and emotional. Just going to have a cuppa and a couple of ciggies and nap outside for a while. I hate being this wrecked, I hate that I cry more than I smile or laugh, I hate it all and me. Surely by now I should be getting "better" not worse. 😞 This is not what I thought I would be doing at my age. Had my kids young, thought by now I would be enjoying traveling and being alone with Sean without the responsibilities of a full time parent. Instead I am curled up like an infant while Sean looks after me, no savings to do any advanced treatment, no hope for a happy future at the moment.

I am sorry guys, I will come back later when I am not so emotional and depressing.

@NatureLover

I am so sorry @Lee82

In response to: Re: Darkness

Unknown userMember27 May 2020, 1:10 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

@Former-Member , after struggling a lot in the beginning to cope when member(s) were away I think I am ok. If they let us know I just wait till they reappear, but if it's sudden and and they where in distress I will post a couple of comments asking them to check in even if just hitting the support button. I will always leave a little something for them when I am here so they know we are thinking about them. It is not longer causing me the distress it use to. 💜Izzy

In response to: Darkness

outlanderSenior Contributor27 May 2020, 1:13 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Darkness

Unknown userMember27 May 2020, 1:49 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

I hope your day is as gentle as it can be my friend. 🌻🦕 @outlander 🌻🦕

In response to: Re: Darkness

outlanderSenior Contributor27 May 2020, 1:51 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

I guess it is @Former-Member everything feels sad and strange atm.
ive done the horses and done abit of cleaning. trying to have a tea but don't really know if I want one now.
are you going abit better now?

In response to: Re: Darkness

Unknown userMember27 May 2020, 2:01 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

Sounds like a productive morning for you, do you think you can try an rest a little before you get the kids this afternoon? I am sorry you are feeling sad and strange, do you know what's causing it? No need to tell me if you don't want to.

i am not doing so good but a little better after a quick nap. It was hard to nap while Sean and D3 where moving her stuff downstairs, lots of swearing and falling my daughters are clumsy 😂

Sending your gentle hugs my friend.

🦖💜 @outlander 💜🦖

In response to: Re: Darkness

outlanderSenior Contributor27 May 2020, 2:08 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

@Former-Member 😂 I don't think you can move house without the swearing, I think its part of the job description 😏

im glad your doing abit better after your nap, maybe as the day goes on you might feel abit more okish..

I think its just abit if everything combining atm. the forums are so unusually quiet as well with many members missing, taking time out or time reduced/limiting threads (im on the carers side as well so its not just the le side) which is fine its just unusual.

im abit worried about Fridays appt and just keep having thoughts about a convo I had yesterday. its kind of just heightened the worries I thought id put aside

In response to: Re: Darkness

outlanderSenior Contributor27 May 2020, 2:10 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

and I have to pick up the kids in about 10 minutes so not much more resting here unfortunatly

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