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Something’s not right

Darkness

Unknown userMember

Darkness

Well it's been a hellish few weeks, I have fallen into the rabbit hole and there seems no escape this time. The darkness has come and it thicker than the fires of hell.

Things just don't seem to going right at all and my MH is just getting worse and worse. Not sleeping (afraid to sleep) not eating and not taking my meds. I know this doesn't help but why bother because when I am on them I either feel zone out or that they do nothing anyways. I didn't make it work today, got to the front and was physically sick and froze again. Crawled back into bed where I stayed untill I had an unexpected call.

My 3 main MH professional and I in a conference call, at the end of the call I was given a choice be sectioned or have my ex move back in temporarily to provide around the clock monitoring, this means for at least two weeks of him being here making sure I eat, take my meds and be present for all appointments and no SH. I am not happy about either option but because of teenager trauma in a MH hospital I am taking the ex.

I will not be as active as normal but I will check in. but like tonight, I may just support posts as I am struggling to even type this. So @Snowie @eth @Lee82 @Eden1919 @Purplerain @Lotusgirl amd anyone I missed I will be getting the care I need and will be safe. To some of the newest forum members please forgive me if it takes a bit for me to get back to you.

6906 replies

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In response to: Darkness

SchitzoSenior Contributor

Re: Darkness

@outlander 💕

In response to: Darkness

SchitzoSenior Contributor

Re: Darkness

Hello and hugs @Shaz51 🤗🌼💚

In response to: Re: Darkness

Shaz51Senior Contributor

Re: Darkness

@Schitzo, thanks for the hugs

how are you today ?

have you any furbabies ?

In response to: Re: Darkness

SchitzoSenior Contributor

Re: Darkness

I'm very well, thank you @Shaz51. no fur babies, but I do have leaf babies 🌱

In response to: Re: Darkness

Shaz51Senior Contributor

Re: Darkness

but I do have leaf babies @Schitzo , spiny leaf insects ? xx

In response to: Re: Darkness

SchitzoSenior Contributor

Re: Darkness

No, not stick insects lol😄 @Shaz51. I have indoor plants, mainly zygo cactuses. 💚

In response to: Re: Darkness

Shaz51Senior Contributor

Re: Darkness

zygo cactuses, ohhhh lovely @Schitzo

have to come and have a look at our The Community Garden 🙂

In response to: Re: Darkness

SchitzoSenior Contributor

Re: Darkness

@Shaz51 Yes, I will do that, thanks for the tip 🌝 xx

In response to: Darkness

Lee82Senior Contributor

Re: Darkness

Hey beautiful. I am so sorry for worrying you like that babe but I do know what you mean when you say your BFF worry signal was going off. It is very stressful when all you can do is wait and hope.
Oh geez babe having to put up with new alters that are disconnected must be very frustrating. Can I ask how new alters come out? I'm not sure the process of what goes on. Please don't feel you need to answer babe I totally understand if you don't want to.
Im going to be honest with you babe I know my drinking is a little out of control at the moment but I can't help myself at the moment. I just need to feel something...anything other than what I have been feeling. I need to numb the pain to be able to try and get through to the next day. I don't know any other way of doing that.

I want to be able to share a glass with you too when we are old and grey and be able to have wheelchair races with you down the corridor of the nursing home getting into trouble by the nurses..😉😂 so I promise you I am being careful but If you feel that strongly about me not drinking I will stop cause for you I will do anything babe. I love you too much and care about you too much to be worrying you like that all of the time. Just say the words and I promise I won't anymore and if I have a moment of weakness I will make sure I tell you.

Mr9 is driving me absolutely crazy cause he has been locked inside the house not being able to move for 2 days straight. I don't know what to do with him. Mr13 can't wait to go back to school next Monday. He is very excited.
I am hanging in there just babe. I don't know what else to say except what's the f**king point of trying anymore. I don't think we are going to be able to have our holiday to Queensland at the end of the year which has made things worse if you know what I mean.

anyway that is more than enough about me hun. How are you doing?
@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Darkness

Emelia8Senior Contributor

Re: Darkness

@Lee82 😔💕

@Former-Member 😵💞

Sitting with you both 🌺🌞

Emelia 💓

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