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Something’s not right

Darkness

Darkness

Well it's been a hellish few weeks, I have fallen into the rabbit hole and there seems no escape this time. The darkness has come and it thicker than the fires of hell.

Things just don't seem to going right at all and my MH is just getting worse and worse. Not sleeping (afraid to sleep) not eating and not taking my meds. I know this doesn't help but why bother because when I am on them I either feel zone out or that they do nothing anyways. I didn't make it work today, got to the front and was physically sick and froze again. Crawled back into bed where I stayed untill I had an unexpected call.

My 3 main MH professional and I in a conference call, at the end of the call I was given a choice be sectioned or have my ex move back in temporarily to provide around the clock monitoring, this means for at least two weeks of him being here making sure I eat, take my meds and be present for all appointments and no SH. I am not happy about either option but because of teenager trauma in a MH hospital I am taking the ex.

I will not be as active as normal but I will check in. but like tonight, I may just support posts as I am struggling to even type this. So @Snowie @eth @Lee82 @Eden1919 @Purplerain @Lotusgirl amd anyone I missed I will be getting the care I need and will be safe. To some of the newest forum members please forgive me if it takes a bit for me to get back to you.

6906 replies

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In response to: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Good night @Former-Member 💙 xx

In response to: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Good night @Anastasia 🌷xx

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Good morning all. Hope you all have a good day today. Sending you all lots of hugs and well wishes. @Former-Member @Schitzo @Bunniekins @outlander @Anastasia @NatureLover @Emelia8

❤️💜💙💚💛🧡

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Hi beautiul,

how did your talk go? I have been thinking of you. Did Mr9 enjoy his first day back?

I hope you are ok @Lee82

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

And just when I thought I was it for worry tag 😟, mind you I am still very worried about you @Lee82 Remember I am here and not going anywhere, it may take me a bit to reply with the way I am switching at the moment but I will get back to you. Love you to the moon and back and 3000, to infinity and beyond Always ❤️

Good morning everyone. @Anastasia @Schitzo @Bunniekins @outlander @Emelia8

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Hugs @Former-Member take care hunxxx

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Hey @Anastasia how have you been hun?
the talk went just as well as expected. There was a lot of compromise on my end and a lot of me having to bite my tongue and take the crap she was giving. I had no choice but to accept what she was saying if I want to be able to ask her to look after my boys. I drank a hell of a lot of wine before she came over which I know wasnt the best idea. I just didn't think I would have been able to get through the conversation. I am just so messed up. SI is extremely high these days. I have been thinking about it a lot. But I have made a promise to @Former-Member and that is what is keeping me here as well as everyone else on the forum who has been very supportive and caring. If I didn't have you guys I don't think I would still be here.

mr9 unfortunately has gotten very sick and so had missed out on his first day of school. He had to go and get a corona test yesterday and has to self isolate until we get the results. He has a really bed cold which has triggered his asthma.

how is your boy doing hun?

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Hey beautiful. That is totally ok hun. I can't imagine what it's like switching all the time babe. It must be super exhausting. Is this nikki writing at the moment? Please give kimmy and Izzy a great hug for me babe and let them know I miss them.
Its been a great big struggle in my head lately. I feel like I have all these different conversations and voices in my head all at once. It's very loud.
I want to be able to wrap my arms around you hun and give you a great big hug. Love you always and forever ❤️ @Former-Member ❤️

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Oh @Lee82

that sux, I am so sorry she is not at all compassionate or understanding. I don't understand those people at all. I just want to wrap you up and take away all of your pain. On the other hand I am so proud of you for getting her help to take care of your gorgeous boys. It will be worth it in the future for when you have your health back, I promise. And your poor little man, the tests are horrid, I so hope he improves quickly. I am glad you have made the promise to @Former-Member as you mean so much to all of us here, I just wish that you felt the same way about you as we all do. You are an incredible, strong, resiliant super woman and Mumma. Please don't lose sight of that.

As for me, well that's another story. I don't really have words hun, I am sad, angry, frustrated, all of the things. I am trying to just keep moving forward but it is hard. Love you xox

@Schitzo @Bunniekins @outlander @Emelia8 and everyone xxx

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Good morning @Lee82 wishing you a wonderful day 🌸

Hugs and hugs🤗🤗🤗xx

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