Darkness

Nope and he wouldn't have that conversation with me right now. I brought it up once and he said it can wait till I am feeling a lot better before we talk!! @Lee82 @Emelia8

I am about to make myself a cuppa and brave the cold for a ciggie.
I hope you do get some more rest my love.

so if you do fall asleep I just want to say I love you 3000 ❤️
@Former-Member

Please don't feel like you have to answer this next question

what do you want to see happen between you guys?
@Former-Member

@Former-Member @Lee82 🙏💓

Yes Izzy I took a pain killer already.

Pics are up 👍 Please tell little Kimmy I love her. As I do you Izzy.

Hope you both get some sleep soon.

Em

I hope you can get some sleep soon too my friend.
I hope your pain subsides as well.
sending you lots of hugs hun ❤️💙💜💚💛🧡

@Emelia8

I can't see a furtive or a happy future without him Mel but he has done something that I am struggling to deal with and I don't know if I can ever trust him enough. Thing is he is being very reasonable about everything right now and hasn't crossed an boundaries spoken or otherwise since he has been back he is giving me no reason not to trust him but stilll.... I wish you could meet him, he is truly a beautiful human being and restored my faith in people, love and happily ever afters!! Yes he made a huge mistake but he still is who he is. @Lee82

That is a very tough decision to make hun and I don't know what advice I can give you. I guess like you said it all comes down to trust and whether you are willing to give him another chance to prove for the rest of your lives that he has changed and that he loves you very much.
did he leave last time or did you kick him out?

have you thought about maybe couples counselling? (I'm sorry I have a feeling that I may have asked this question before but my brain is mush lately and don't remember or retain much information)

@Former-Member

It's all good Mel, my brain is mush too. He left, he told me he was leaving and hung around for a month and the one Saturday in January he pack his car and said goodbye. I told him he wasn't to call for a month as I needed adjust to life without him here. Well I didn't last the week and called him for a random reason. Nat is going to do our couples counseling when I am ready for that. It's my own fault really we had an open marriage with some defined rules and I left out a couple of things that I assumed he would just know not to go there, but that was not the case. So now we are struggling to work out weather or not we are going to be able to go through the heartache of him leaving again when he breaks an unspoken rule @Lee82

You cannot blame yourself for having feelings about something that was unspoken. For having feelings towards something the person you love did whether that was with or without knowledge.

love is tough and complicated. I think if he is willing then couples counselling maybe exactly what you need to get past what happened and try again.
I also think that for now you definitely need to concentrate on you and getting yourself better. I feel like you can see this as something to aim for. Something that you can say you want in your future and work towards trying for. He obviously loves you very much hun. No one would be there like he has if they didn't love that person which means you are already half way there.
I hope I haven't crossed a line by saying any of this babe. I love you very much and care about you more than anything and I want to see you happy. That is my one and only wish in life.
@Former-Member

@Emelia8 Did you manage any sleep sweets?