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Darkness

Unknown userMember23 Apr 2020, 7:03 pm AEST

Darkness

Well it's been a hellish few weeks, I have fallen into the rabbit hole and there seems no escape this time. The darkness has come and it thicker than the fires of hell.

Things just don't seem to going right at all and my MH is just getting worse and worse. Not sleeping (afraid to sleep) not eating and not taking my meds. I know this doesn't help but why bother because when I am on them I either feel zone out or that they do nothing anyways. I didn't make it work today, got to the front and was physically sick and froze again. Crawled back into bed where I stayed untill I had an unexpected call.

My 3 main MH professional and I in a conference call, at the end of the call I was given a choice be sectioned or have my ex move back in temporarily to provide around the clock monitoring, this means for at least two weeks of him being here making sure I eat, take my meds and be present for all appointments and no SH. I am not happy about either option but because of teenager trauma in a MH hospital I am taking the ex.

I will not be as active as normal but I will check in. but like tonight, I may just support posts as I am struggling to even type this. So @Snowie @eth @Lee82 @Eden1919 @Purplerain @Lotusgirl amd anyone I missed I will be getting the care I need and will be safe. To some of the newest forum members please forgive me if it takes a bit for me to get back to you.

6906 replies

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In response to: Darkness

Emelia8Senior Contributor05 Sept 2020, 10:21 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

OMG Kimmy ... I love that picture ... you are such a clever little girl. I love you too sweetie pie. Thank you for paying us a visit today. I hope you are okay, because I havent seen you around in quite some time. I had one of my little granddaughters visiting today ... she is 7yo. I think you two would get along very well together. @Former-Member

Oh Izzy ... you have fallen hard this afternoon, after such a beautiful morning. So sorry. I know what your internals may be telling you ... but let me tell you very clearly ... you DO deserve to be happy. None more so than you Izzy. And one day you will find lasting happiness ... I know it.

I'm unsure how much control you have over this Alter who has taken over this afternoon. Is it anyone we have met here before? Perhaps without us even knowing. Strive to be happy Izzy ... always ... in spite of this nasty alter who does not permit good feelings or happiness.

@Lee82 Thanks for enquiring Lee. We have had visitors, my step daughter, her husband and two kids. Had an evening BBQ under the stars on our back deck. The weather was perfect. No wind, no rain (just missed us to the north) and beautifully warm. It was really lovely seeing 2 of my grandkids again after about a year since we last saw them. My grandaughter is 7 now ... how time flies. And my grandson has just turned 10. Nice ages. I have been collecting the Ooshies from Woolies and Treehouse Books from Coles for them as soon as I knew they were coming. And they loved them, divvying them all up between themselves. My little dog got loads of attention, poor little mite. She is not used to having kids around, but she is so good with them. Very patientm and not a snap out of her. My granddaughter is constantly wanting to pick her up and carry her around. Abbie does not like it, but put up with it beautifully. Thankfully my granddaughter has her own dog and is very good with them. My little Abbie is completely worn out tonight.

Tomorrow they are shouting us lunch at a local restaurant, which will be nice.

@Former-Member @Lee82 ... I hope you can both get some restful sleep tonight and remain safe. I am very tired myself right now, and my back is aching like crazy from being on my feet all afternoon and evening. I think I need to head to bed now, if not to sleep at least to lay flat for a while and get off my feet. Visitors are lovely, but very tiring.

Hi there @Anastasia @Bunniekins

Emelia 🌸

In response to: Re: Darkness

Lee82Senior Contributor05 Sept 2020, 10:33 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

Wow you have had such an amazing day @Emelia8 I am so happy for you hun. Nothing better than spending a beautiful day with your kids and grandkids but I get that it is tiring. I so hope tomorrow is just as good as today was for you all.
poor little Abbie. So good of her to be patient with the kids. I am sure she loved all the attention though.
hope you get some rest beautiful

❤️

In response to: Re: Darkness

AnastasiaSenior Contributor05 Sept 2020, 10:38 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

Sorry I fell asleep on the couch, in bed now. Please stay safe @Former-Member 💜

You too @Lee82 💙

Your day sounds lovely @Emelia8 ❤️ as does Abbie 🐾🐾

Night and love to you all ❤️

In response to: Darkness

Lee82Senior Contributor05 Sept 2020, 10:42 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

That is not right...you do not need her telling you all the negative things you were told as a child you have to know that that was coming from terrible people and that those things are NOT true. You are the most amazing beautiful kind caring courageous person I have ever met my love. You have an amazing soul. You always know what to say when I am not in a good place. You know how to make me smile or laugh. That is something no one else in my life can ever do. You are one super special person I am the luckiest person alive to have met you and to have the privilege of being you friend. ❤️
@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Darkness

Lee82Senior Contributor05 Sept 2020, 10:44 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

Good night beautiful friend. I hope you have a lovely day tomorrow

thank you so very much for your support.

@Anastasia ❤️

In response to: Re: Darkness

Zoe7Senior Contributor06 Sept 2020, 3:07 am AEST

Re: Darkness

@Former-Member @Lee82 Thinking of you both

In response to: Re: Darkness

Unknown userMember06 Sept 2020, 6:57 am AEST

Re: Darkness

Thank you @Zoe7 , you are never far for my mind beautiful lady, I am hoping that right now you are fast asleep. Sending you some love, light and a crazy amount of hugs my dear friend.

@Emelia8 , morning again my friend

@Anastasia , Hoping you have had some decent sleep last night. Whatever you have to do today I hope it flows with ease and you find moments of joy in today.

@Lee82 , Gorgeous girl you are far to kind and sweet to me. How did you sleep? Did you kick the monster to the curb? Anhy plans for today? I am doewn in my paint room agaain. I was telling Em that it's funny becase Kimmyu hasn't spioke to anyone in agess, last night she camo out when the other chil alter was playing with glitter and left her message and withou even speaking to hubby she disa]]eared. I gues we know who her facvourite peop;le are..

Love you 3000

In response to: Re: Darkness

AnastasiaSenior Contributor06 Sept 2020, 8:25 am AEST

Re: Darkness

Thank you @Former-Member

Not a good night at all sadly. My boy had nasty break through symptoms and came into my room terrified. He slept in my bed which meant not much sleep for me. I was happy I could comfort him, not nice seeing him so distressed ☹️☹️☹️

Up now to organise Father's Day lunch. Dad has been having cancer treatment and hasn't visited since covid hit the first time round so it's a big thing they are coming and I want to clean and make sure it's nice for them. I hope you all have a lovely day xxx

@Zoe7 @Lee82 @Emelia8 @outlander @NatureLover

In response to: Re: Darkness

Unknown userMember06 Sept 2020, 8:40 am AEST

Re: Darkness

I am so sorry that your little man had such a bad night. It will be lovely to see your dad since it's been a while. Hope you get everything you want done before they arrive. Have a good day sweetness. @Anastasia

In response to: Re: Darkness

Emelia8Senior Contributor06 Sept 2020, 10:11 am AEST

Re: Darkness

Good morning dear @Former-Member ... I saw you were up in the wee small hours again today. Thanks for your lovely message on my thread earlier too. I will get around to responding to everyone there one day soon.

Thanks so much for passing on my message to little Kimmy. I have been thinking of her a lot, especially given she has not been around for so long. How sweet of her to leave her lovely message to @Lee82 and myself. I feel very honoured.

Its so good that you finally have your paint room to spend time in again. That must be a big relief to you.

I have another busy day with visitors today. Clearing up after last nights BBQ at present, and about to unpack the dishwasher. Well ... its a start anyway. Meanwhile Hubby has overdone things and has had a quick breaky and back to bed again. Hoping he is well enough to enjoy his fathers day lunch in a restaurant in town, compliments of his daughter.

Will soon phone my Dad, who is staying the weekend with my brother on his farm. I sent him a fathers day pressie, which he has received during the week. A bottle of good port and some licorice allsorts, which he loves. Best I could do given the tryanny of disance. Will give my husbands Dad a call in WA once hubby is out of bed again.

So I wont be around too much today until this evening I suspect.

@Anastasia ... I am really sorry to hear that your boy had a bad night. That must be so distressing for you to see him in such a state. How is he this morning?

How lovely that your Dad will be visiting for Fathers Day. Yes it really is a big thing to have him come, given the COVID thing and his cancer treatment. I hope his treatment is going as well as possible and that it is doing what it needs to do, for him. Will he soon be having scans etc to see how things are progressing? My husband has 6-monthly monitoring scans now, progress from the former 3-monthly. I really hope your day with family visiting will be a lovely time for you all.

@Lee82 ... always thinking of you beautiful. I hope any fathers day events happening today for your boys, is not too upsetting for you.

@NatureLover ... Hi beautiful, sending love your way. I think you have been quiet so far today. Hope you have not slipped back into depression.

@Zoe7 ... sending kind thoughts you way.

@outlander ... healing thoughts for you.

Emelia 🌸

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