FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Something’s not right

Darkness

Darkness

Well it's been a hellish few weeks, I have fallen into the rabbit hole and there seems no escape this time. The darkness has come and it thicker than the fires of hell.

Things just don't seem to going right at all and my MH is just getting worse and worse. Not sleeping (afraid to sleep) not eating and not taking my meds. I know this doesn't help but why bother because when I am on them I either feel zone out or that they do nothing anyways. I didn't make it work today, got to the front and was physically sick and froze again. Crawled back into bed where I stayed untill I had an unexpected call.

My 3 main MH professional and I in a conference call, at the end of the call I was given a choice be sectioned or have my ex move back in temporarily to provide around the clock monitoring, this means for at least two weeks of him being here making sure I eat, take my meds and be present for all appointments and no SH. I am not happy about either option but because of teenager trauma in a MH hospital I am taking the ex.

I will not be as active as normal but I will check in. but like tonight, I may just support posts as I am struggling to even type this. So @Snowie @eth @Lee82 @Eden1919 @Purplerain @Lotusgirl amd anyone I missed I will be getting the care I need and will be safe. To some of the newest forum members please forgive me if it takes a bit for me to get back to you.

6906 replies

4,361 - 4,370 of 6,906

In response to: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Morning Em, all therapy has been put on hold while I do the safe and sound protocol as I can't or have to try hard to avoid being triggered. We started that last week but it was a bust as we had a conversation with Nat last Friday that left me feeling really horrible and I wasn't sure if I was going back to see her. I am going today but if I am being honest I am not sure if I want to continue seeing her. To prove to myself that I may not want to, I dreamt all night with Nat weaving in and out doing and saying things that I can't handle

right now. Stupid I know as she is awesome but I felt attacked last visit and am not feeling safe with her.

How was your sleep my friend, do you have any plans for today? @Emelia8

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Oh goodness @Former-Member that sounds pretty rugged. Really hope your session with Nat is better today and you're able to forge a way forward.

I got a couple of hours broken sleep thanks. Not great, but best in some time.

Plans for today? Grocery shopping is the only must-do at this stage. My step daughter, her hubby and 2 of our 6 grandkids are visiting this weekend. They live 6 hrs away, so we dont see them much. Visiting for fathers day, which will be nice.

Speaking of fathers .. How is yours doing?

Emelia 🌸

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

I am so happy for you that you get to see your step daughter and her family, definitely something to look forward too. I haven't seen him again as yet as I just can't deal with anything and they haven't asked if we are coming back so I will just leave it till I am a little better I guess. I hate food shopping but we have to do this to at some

piont this weekend. Sending you lots of love my dear friend @Emelia8

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Good morning everyone, I hope your ready for Friday and all it has to offer good and bad. I have been up for only 2 hours and am ready for more sleep, it's going to be a long day. I am seeing my sister and Nat this afternoon and already am not looking forward to either visit. Because of how tried and fragile I feel I most likely won't be around much today. I think I need to spent sometime doing a little self care before the visits. I will check in if I can. Please don't stress (Mel) I am safe just pasted exhausted I think. I hope the sun shine on you all.

💝🌹 @Lee82 🌹💝

💜🐶 @Emelia8 🐶💜

💜🌺 @Anastasia 🌺💜

💜🌼 @Zoe7 🌼💜

💜👸 @Bunniekins 👸💜

💜🦖 @outlander 🦖💜

💜🌟 @Eve7 🌟💜

💜🌺 @Shaz51 🌺💜

💜🌻 @Maggie 🌻💜

💜🌼 @Former-Member 🌼💜

💜🎨 @Angels333 🎨💜

💜🌺 @eth 🌺💜

Too everyone passing through today as well.

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Thinking of you @Former-Member .. i liked the link you sent of the butterfly painting.

I hope today turns out the best it can ...

XOXO ANGELS333

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

@Former-Member 💙💕

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

@Former-Member Sending lots of 🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Good morning @Former-Member

Hello everyone

I love your morning hello Izzy, thank you for always thinking of me. A big day for you, I am sorry it is not one that you are looking forward to. I really hope that both visits turn out ok for you hunny. I will be thinking of you and praying that all goes well for you. Love and hugs always xoxo

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Hey @Lee82

How are you sweets? I am sorry my posts have been minimal. It's a bit of a juggle at present but I want you to know that I am happy that you have made the decision to go to hospital. I am praying that you come out and the black cloud has lifted. I do hope that your Mum allows you more freedom too and perhaps finds another way of getting her coffee deliveries done long term so that you can focus on your health and your beautiful boys. You are one brave girl! I am very aware of how therapy/dr's visits can influence my boy's mindset, sometimes good sometimes not and I fully undertsand how difficult life can be. Got your back hunny, just wish you happiness and a bright future. Love you to bits xox

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

@Lee82 , babes could you please check in I am getting a little worried babe

4,361 - 4,370 of 6,906