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Darkness

Unknown userMember23 Apr 2020, 7:03 pm AEST

Darkness

Well it's been a hellish few weeks, I have fallen into the rabbit hole and there seems no escape this time. The darkness has come and it thicker than the fires of hell.

Things just don't seem to going right at all and my MH is just getting worse and worse. Not sleeping (afraid to sleep) not eating and not taking my meds. I know this doesn't help but why bother because when I am on them I either feel zone out or that they do nothing anyways. I didn't make it work today, got to the front and was physically sick and froze again. Crawled back into bed where I stayed untill I had an unexpected call.

My 3 main MH professional and I in a conference call, at the end of the call I was given a choice be sectioned or have my ex move back in temporarily to provide around the clock monitoring, this means for at least two weeks of him being here making sure I eat, take my meds and be present for all appointments and no SH. I am not happy about either option but because of teenager trauma in a MH hospital I am taking the ex.

I will not be as active as normal but I will check in. but like tonight, I may just support posts as I am struggling to even type this. So @Snowie @eth @Lee82 @Eden1919 @Purplerain @Lotusgirl amd anyone I missed I will be getting the care I need and will be safe. To some of the newest forum members please forgive me if it takes a bit for me to get back to you.

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In response to: Darkness

Unknown userMember20 Aug 2020, 12:52 am AEST

Re: Darkness

No she doesn't take the chance to speak to Nat, I made the first couple of appointments for both girls living with me and they where happy to see/talk to her but once I said they had to do it they both stopped😪

Sorry you had a melt down but it is a good step asking your mum to have them and happy they love her enough to want to have sleep overs. But you are by yourself so I need to ask if you are safe? @Lee82

In response to: Darkness

Lee82Senior Contributor20 Aug 2020, 12:52 am AEST

Re: Darkness

That's a great little skill to have @Zoe7

yea it is a good thing I can leave the boys with mum sometimes although I'm not too sure my psychologist would be too happy about it. I am not suppose to be on my own.
tonight is definitely a huge win from last night. That is how I am trying to look at it anyway because I am still feeling very out of control so trying to convince myself that I have some sort of control over something is what is helping me hold things together right now.

In response to: Darkness

Unknown userMember20 Aug 2020, 12:54 am AEST

Re: Darkness

Well I know little Ella is safe, she is so sweet the way she tries to look after you, I don't know Indianah though is she a safe alter? @Fluttershy1

In response to: Darkness

Unknown userMember20 Aug 2020, 12:54 am AEST

Re: Darkness

Honey why are you crying? @Fluttershy1

In response to: Darkness

Unknown userMember20 Aug 2020, 12:55 am AEST

Re: Darkness

I don't know how to answer that @Candydipper - accept maybe - flat. Are you good? I can't place you sorry, but it doesn't matter, we can still care in the moment 💙💙💙

In response to: Darkness

Lee82Senior Contributor20 Aug 2020, 12:55 am AEST

Re: Darkness

@Fluttershy1 That is some heavy stuff you are dealing with hun. I am so glad you have this forum. Everyone here is just so understanding and supportive. You never have to feel misunderstood or alone hun. I am happy to hold your hand and help you as much as I possibly can.

In response to: Re: Darkness

Fluttershy1Senior Contributor20 Aug 2020, 12:55 am AEST