Darkness

@Former-Member Wow! that is so thoughtful :D. You are a kind and thoughtful person you know that dont you. I love you my friend. Be kind to yourself today. Love always peaxxx

You my friend are too kind @Bunniekins , but thank you. Sending you light and love to get you through your day. I am so blessed to have you as a friend.

morning Mel, praying you got through your night without a lot of pain. Wishing you where here with me so I could help more. Love you beautiful @Lee82

To my dear Nature, it's always so heartwarming to see your name weather you have commented or just supported a post, for me it means that while you maybe not be great you are ok. Hoping there is some joy and love in your day. @NatureLover

Hey @Zoe7 , I know you are at work busy with your little gremlins, but I finally have the strength to write this post. I am so very sorry for the lost of your dear friend and really feel you not being able to attend his funeral. Goodbyes are important, but you are a smart lady and I am sure you can find a way to have one last chat with him. Time does make everyday a little easier but for me at least after nine years it hasn't taken the pain away at all. Grief is personal, nobody grieves in the same way or for the same amount of time. Take the time you need, say goodbye the best way you can and hold your memories tight to your heart.

"If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd march right up to heaven and bring you home again"

Sending you all my love, some strength to make it through your parent interview this afternoon and some light to help you through. Izzy

Thank you @Former-Member You are so right about grief affecting us in different ways and the processing is so individual. I have this week off to get myself together as best I can. I just could not face work feeling how I am presently and the Principal was very understanding. I know working up to the funeral will be hard but I am hoping once he is laid to rest it may get a little easier (and a little more real). Still feels unbelievable and I want to reach out to him to have a chat - but can't.

Thank you so much for your words of wisdom and your kindness - it really matters Hon

I can't even begin to understand how you are feeling about not attending his funeral. It would have been soul crushing for me not to attend hers, but it wasn't a walk on the park either. It's still so fresh every moment of that day from them opening her coffin for me to put my engagement ring on her finger (she use to steal it every chance she got 😁) to supporting my children and those who hadn't seen her in years but where still completely beside themselves with grief.

I may be a little weird but I talk to her all the time, I even pause for her reply. I knew her so well I can always predict what she would have said to me. I have been blessed to have seen her beautiful smile in a couple of dreams since then and it make me smile and hurt at the same time.

Hold him close, talk to him often, cherish those memories you have they will get you through. @Zoe7

@Former-Member That connection you had and still have is wonderful Hon

I am finding there are moments that I freeze on the spot and all I can do is shake my head - that disbelief is so prominent. I then feel my heart sink, followed by a real physical response. For the most part I am still numb but extremely sad at the same time. I have not cried - there have been moments where a tear or two come out but then I shut down completely. I know shutting down is my way to cope but that is always followed by depression - that I am trying to avoid right now and I am hoping the time off will help me move through those stages a little easier.

I have some messages from him and some photos that I cannot look at yet but maybe part of this week needs to be to do and then work through whatever comes.

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@Former-Member wrote:

To my dear Nature, it's always so heartwarming to see your name weather you have commented or just supported a post, for me it means that while you maybe not be great you are ok. Hoping there is some joy and love in your day. @NatureLover

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You have got it right as usual, @Former-Member 🙂 You are such a beautiful person with a huge heart. Thank you for your beautiful message which warmed my heart this morning. I hope today goes OK for you, dear Izzy...with joy and love for you as well.

Hey beautiful. How is your day going? Today is such a beautiful sunny day outside with hardly any clouds in it but all I see is black clouds and no sunshine. All I want to do is hide under the blankets and block the world out. I am just too sensitive right now and very very jumpy.
@Former-Member

sending you all my love gorgeous hoping today is a good day for you. 💗

My dearest Mel, I am so very sorry you day has been so hard for you my love. Sorry I didn't reply earlier but grief overcame me and I had a massive breakdown. I went on the vibration lounge and fell asleep. I haven't told hubby how bad it is as I find myself internalizing everything at the moment. He just thinks my mood is low.

I am holding on to hope that you are less jumpy now and that you are kinda ok. @Lee82