Darkness

Oh I'm so sorry hun. I didn't realise. I am trying to be as mindful as I can be. There is a hell of a lot I want to talk to you about but because of the guidelines I can't and most importantly I know you are going through a tough time too and I don't want to add to that.
you, Izzy and the other on this forum are my only friends. The only ones I can be truthful with. The only ones that understands me and I am so very thankful for that.
I am trying so hard to keep my promise babe.
love you so much beautiful
@Former-Member

I know honey, I understand how hard it is to share without breaking the guidelines. I can't even tell you why I am extremely worried about you today/tonight. Something isn't sitting right. If that makes any sense. @Lee82 , I trust you to keep our promise babe

ThAt makes perfect sense hun. I can just feel the darkness starting to swallow me up again. I feel Like I need to go on a drive again if you know what I mean.
@Former-Member

Please don't. @Lee82

No I can't. I have the boys here. It's ok my love I am not going anywhere.
@Former-Member

Thank you. I know how that darkness pulls and pulls it's a right Bit*h. I got a reprieve for almost two whole days, but a flashback a very quick flashback drew me back under this afternoon. I know the pull is strong but we have to be stronger Mel. @Lee82

I know we do hun. Sometimes it's just so damn difficult and it's so much harder when you have someone who kicks you when your down. I feel like I am fighting an up hill battle all of the time. I have to prove to everyone that I am invincible and perfect and ok and over my past and better and strong and happy and satisfied with life. It is just so tiring and I am over it all. I am over feeling so incredibly useless, worthless, and everyone's piece of shite.
@Former-Member

@NatureLover Thanks Hon

@Lee82 @Former-Member You are both extraordinary women whether you believe that or not - I do. Love and hugs to you both.

Thank you @Zoe7 . You are a very special person. I am so glad I have met you hun. How are you holding up?

Really glad to have met you too @Lee82 Been a very difficult day Hon - still numb but feeling very low and of course really sad - not a good combination This is going to take some time to be able to deal with but I am trying to Just Keep Swimming - that is all I can do hey.