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Something’s not right

Darkness

Darkness

Well it's been a hellish few weeks, I have fallen into the rabbit hole and there seems no escape this time. The darkness has come and it thicker than the fires of hell.

Things just don't seem to going right at all and my MH is just getting worse and worse. Not sleeping (afraid to sleep) not eating and not taking my meds. I know this doesn't help but why bother because when I am on them I either feel zone out or that they do nothing anyways. I didn't make it work today, got to the front and was physically sick and froze again. Crawled back into bed where I stayed untill I had an unexpected call.

My 3 main MH professional and I in a conference call, at the end of the call I was given a choice be sectioned or have my ex move back in temporarily to provide around the clock monitoring, this means for at least two weeks of him being here making sure I eat, take my meds and be present for all appointments and no SH. I am not happy about either option but because of teenager trauma in a MH hospital I am taking the ex.

I will not be as active as normal but I will check in. but like tonight, I may just support posts as I am struggling to even type this. So @Snowie @eth @Lee82 @Eden1919 @Purplerain @Lotusgirl amd anyone I missed I will be getting the care I need and will be safe. To some of the newest forum members please forgive me if it takes a bit for me to get back to you.

6906 replies

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In response to: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Please babe. Can you just check in so I know you are ok?
@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Sorry @Lee82 😞 I am not good, but am safe now he is back. Sorry I failed

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Oh babe. I'm so sorry. @Former-Member 😥😥can I do anything? I hate feeling so helpless. I want to be able to help my friend

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

I waited too long I'm so sorry @Former-Member I just didn't want to push you.

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

No honey you didn't, she wouldn't have answered you anyway, I not even sure she knows how to use my phone. It's so humiliating to have to have your ex husband shower you and dress wounds on your chest. I hate the pain in his eyes, he had no choice but to go to his mum, she ended up being taken away under lights and sirens because they said she was having a heart attack. So he is already stressed out and he walks into my mess. Need to to go to hospital they are not deep. She told him that we don't deserve to have breasts. He came home in time I think.

@Lee82 , I am so sorry to put this on you. I can't look at him right now. He is trying hard to disguise his pain but I see it.

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

I'm so sorry your hurting so much my beautiful friend. I am so glad he came home when he did. You didn't do it deliberately to make him worry babe. I'm sure he was already worried about you. You need to look after you right now. I'm so sorry babe...I am truly hurting for you right now. I don't know what to say that will make any of this better. I want to give you a hug right now and tell you that you are beautiful and loved.
Please let me know how you go at the hospital.
@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

I am not going to hospital sorry fat fingers and to many years. miss typed it. They are not deep no need to go. @Lee82

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Are you sure babe?
Are you able to get into contact with Nat right now? Maybe a chat with her may help.
@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

He asked if he could send a pic to his ex, she is a nurse in emergency (we are still very friendly) she just told him how to clean them and then to dress them. She thought I was safer at home right now anyways. I trust her 100%

I am beyond help right now my love. 😞 just trying hard to keep it together and not all apart again. @Lee82

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Ok babe. Babe You are safe now and exh2 is there for you honey. I am here for you and am willing to stay with you as long as you need and want. Please just be kind to yourself right now. What are you doing right now? Where are you?
@Former-Member

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