Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

47,612Members
1,358,869Posts
1,400,000Visitors

Something’s not right

Darkness

Unknown userMember23 Apr 2020, 7:03 pm AEST

Darkness

Well it's been a hellish few weeks, I have fallen into the rabbit hole and there seems no escape this time. The darkness has come and it thicker than the fires of hell.

Things just don't seem to going right at all and my MH is just getting worse and worse. Not sleeping (afraid to sleep) not eating and not taking my meds. I know this doesn't help but why bother because when I am on them I either feel zone out or that they do nothing anyways. I didn't make it work today, got to the front and was physically sick and froze again. Crawled back into bed where I stayed untill I had an unexpected call.

My 3 main MH professional and I in a conference call, at the end of the call I was given a choice be sectioned or have my ex move back in temporarily to provide around the clock monitoring, this means for at least two weeks of him being here making sure I eat, take my meds and be present for all appointments and no SH. I am not happy about either option but because of teenager trauma in a MH hospital I am taking the ex.

I will not be as active as normal but I will check in. but like tonight, I may just support posts as I am struggling to even type this. So @Snowie @eth @Lee82 @Eden1919 @Purplerain @Lotusgirl amd anyone I missed I will be getting the care I need and will be safe. To some of the newest forum members please forgive me if it takes a bit for me to get back to you.

6906 replies

2,681 - 2,690 of 6,906

1...268 269 270...691

In response to: Darkness

Unknown userMember27 July 2020, 3:36 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

Hi @outlander , thank you for your message yesterday/last night. I was on a medication for my anxiety but have stopped as it wasn't helping and my doc wants me to wait two weeks before beginning a new one. I hope you are doing as well as you can my friend.

@Shaz51 thank you for your support my beautiful friend

@Bunniekins , your messages always but a sile

on this very tried face. Thank you so much.

In response to: Darkness

Unknown userMember27 July 2020, 3:37 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

Me too honey, me too. How are you doing my gorgeous Mel. @Lee82

In response to: Re: Darkness

Lee82Senior Contributor27 July 2020, 3:41 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

Not so good nikki. FB are tormenting me today and I can't seem to make them stop.
@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Darkness

Unknown userMember27 July 2020, 3:55 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

I know there must be a way to make them stop but I haven't found it yet. I am so very sorry they have been making your day horrid my love. Wishing more than anything that I could give you the hugs I am sending you. Love you to infinity and beyond Mel. @Lee82

In response to: Re: Darkness

Lee82Senior Contributor27 July 2020, 3:59 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

Babe I want nothing more right now. Feeling a little out of control. I just want to scream...I am not handling things very well and I need you right now. I'm so sorry I know that probably sounds selfish cause I know you are going through enough without me adding to it.
@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Darkness

Unknown userMember27 July 2020, 4:04 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

That's what friends are for babe. I am here as best as I can be for you my love. Talk to me @Lee82

In response to: Re: Darkness

BunniekinsSenior Contributor27 July 2020, 4:11 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

@Former-Member xxx

In response to: Re: Darkness

Lee82Senior Contributor27 July 2020, 4:14 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

I just can't seem to get what Jules did to me out of my head. I don't understand why. I don't understand what I did. I can't help but feel like it was my fault. Seeing him yesterday has done a number on me. I don't know how I am going to continue seeing him every fortnight. Sending the boys is killing me a little more every time because I know they don't want to go. Now the thought he is going to bring another child into this world just makes everything seem so much worse. I can't handle this news at all babe. I haven't been able sleep even after taking my SP.

@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Darkness

Lee82Senior Contributor27 July 2020, 4:19 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

I'm sorry babe. I hope this isn't triggering for you. If it is please please tell me. That is the last thing I want to do

@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Darkness

Unknown userMember27 July 2020, 4:35 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

It's not triggering me at all sweetheart. I will let you know if I can't handle it. You are not to blame for what Jules did to you, nothing you said, nothing you did or didn't do is the reason why he did it. Who really knows why anyone does that to the one they promised to love and protect. It is still relatively a new abuse in the grand scheme of things two years isn't that long, you are triggered every fortnight and not only once but twice. It's a little wonder you have trouble moving forward. Here in Queensland Mr 13 you oils have a choice weather he wants to go or not but Mr 9 would have to wait a couple of years for that choice. Do you have court orders? His new family maybe in for a world of hurt themselves as he doesn't seem to be the most committed or supportive man around. What happens if the gf gets post Partum depression, look at his track record with your mental health it's not looking good for them either. I completely understand how him getting a new family would effect you as it leads to a lot of why's and what's wrong with us thoughts. When your in the thick of it, it can be really tough to see that most of the fault falls on him and his poor decisions and his inability to keep his you know what in his pants. You and the boys are enough, you are all good enough, loveable enough you are all worthy of a loving supportive husband and father. I wish I could speak to you, I really do Mel

@Lee82

2,681 - 2,690 of 6,906

1...268 269 270...691

SANE Forums is published by SANE with funding from the Australian Government Department of Health.

SANE Forums does not provide crisis support.
If you need immediate assistance, please see available crisis services.

Learn more about SANE and SANE services at sane.org

Aboriginal flag

Torres Strait Islander flag

Transgender flag

SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.

Aboriginal flag

Torres Strait Islander flag

Transgender flag

SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.