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Something’s not right

Darkness

Darkness

Well it's been a hellish few weeks, I have fallen into the rabbit hole and there seems no escape this time. The darkness has come and it thicker than the fires of hell.

Things just don't seem to going right at all and my MH is just getting worse and worse. Not sleeping (afraid to sleep) not eating and not taking my meds. I know this doesn't help but why bother because when I am on them I either feel zone out or that they do nothing anyways. I didn't make it work today, got to the front and was physically sick and froze again. Crawled back into bed where I stayed untill I had an unexpected call.

My 3 main MH professional and I in a conference call, at the end of the call I was given a choice be sectioned or have my ex move back in temporarily to provide around the clock monitoring, this means for at least two weeks of him being here making sure I eat, take my meds and be present for all appointments and no SH. I am not happy about either option but because of teenager trauma in a MH hospital I am taking the ex.

I will not be as active as normal but I will check in. but like tonight, I may just support posts as I am struggling to even type this. So @Snowie @eth @Lee82 @Eden1919 @Purplerain @Lotusgirl amd anyone I missed I will be getting the care I need and will be safe. To some of the newest forum members please forgive me if it takes a bit for me to get back to you.

6906 replies

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Re: Darkness

Bombers and Blues supporters both enemies of the Pies so I can imagine there are conflicts when it comes to footy @Lee82 My Dad's parents were Richmond and Geelong but all his brothers are the Pies. My other grandfather was West Coast when they come in but Nan was Fitzroy with the rest of us. Nan would have been whatever I was though - we were super close

In response to: Re: Darkness

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That is so sweet about your nan. I had a good relationship with my grandparents too. They lived close to my high school so I would walk there everyday after school and my grandfather would make Humpty Dumpty eggs and toast for me and then I would watch the bold and the beautiful with my grandmother before Mum picked me up. They were great memories.
@Zoe7

In response to: Darkness

Re: Darkness

me too @Lee82

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That is so bizarre @Lee82 My grandparents also lived close to the high school and I would walk there ever day after school too. I actually stayed at my grandparents for a lot of my high school years as I felt safe there. Some times I would go 'home' for lunch as well and Nan would have it on the table when I got there. My favourite was rissoles, mashed potatoes, peas and carrots with gravy - she would make that once a week for me. My Nan was always my best friend and I do miss her terribly even though it has been over 20 years since she died. We were exceptionally close - like two little peas in a pod.

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Doesn't matter how long they have been gone for @Zoe7 i don't think we will ever stop missing them. My grandmother had a special bond with my youngest too. She looked after him for me while I was at work couple days a week. They loved each other's company. Unfortunately he was too little to really remember her but I try and show him pictures and videos of them so he can always remember her.

In response to: Re: Darkness

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Yeah I agree - when we have that special bond with someone we always miss them @Lee82 Last year I finally got rid of some things I had been holding onto of Nan's - clothes mostly. I kept a few things but donated the rest ...it was super hard to do but it was time. I have a photo of my Nan near my bed so I say goodnight to her every night. I always wonder what she would be like with Toby - I can imagine she would love him just as much as me. She was always a cat person like me but I have no doubt Toby would steal her heart as well.

In response to: Re: Darkness

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Hey gorgeous. Just checking in to see how you are going?
love you 3000 and always thinking of you. ❤️
@Former-Member

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@Former-Member @Lee82 Popping in here to check on you both. You are missed

In response to: Re: Darkness

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Evening everyone, just checking in won't be staying sorry. I hope everyone has a peaceful weekend.

@Lee82 @Zoe7 @outlander @NatureLover @NatureLover @Shaz51

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@Former-Member 💛❤💙
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