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Something’s not right

Darkness

Unknown userMember23 Apr 2020, 7:03 pm AEST

Darkness

Well it's been a hellish few weeks, I have fallen into the rabbit hole and there seems no escape this time. The darkness has come and it thicker than the fires of hell.

Things just don't seem to going right at all and my MH is just getting worse and worse. Not sleeping (afraid to sleep) not eating and not taking my meds. I know this doesn't help but why bother because when I am on them I either feel zone out or that they do nothing anyways. I didn't make it work today, got to the front and was physically sick and froze again. Crawled back into bed where I stayed untill I had an unexpected call.

My 3 main MH professional and I in a conference call, at the end of the call I was given a choice be sectioned or have my ex move back in temporarily to provide around the clock monitoring, this means for at least two weeks of him being here making sure I eat, take my meds and be present for all appointments and no SH. I am not happy about either option but because of teenager trauma in a MH hospital I am taking the ex.

I will not be as active as normal but I will check in. but like tonight, I may just support posts as I am struggling to even type this. So @Snowie @eth @Lee82 @Eden1919 @Purplerain @Lotusgirl amd anyone I missed I will be getting the care I need and will be safe. To some of the newest forum members please forgive me if it takes a bit for me to get back to you.

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In response to: Darkness

outlanderSenior Contributor09 July 2020, 9:08 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

Hey @Lee82 just floating around atm. Tired abit.

In response to: Re: Darkness

Lee82Senior Contributor09 July 2020, 9:10 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

I'm sorry I've been out of the loop a little lately. When do you have to go and have your procedure done?
@outlander

did you get up to much today?

In response to: Re: Darkness

outlanderSenior Contributor09 July 2020, 9:15 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

Next fridays the procedure @Lee82 cant come soon enough at this point.
I didnt do a whole heap just the usual stuff. Have a little bit more of a busy day tomorrow though. I committed to something but i dont want to. I was hesitant when i agreed to it a few days ago, i shouldve pulled out earlier. At least its only 2 hours but kinda needed those 2 hours to catch up on some things without the kids hanging off me.

In response to: Re: Darkness

Lee82Senior Contributor09 July 2020, 9:24 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

Yea I can understand your apprehension to get it done sooner rather than later hun. You have waited wat too long as it is.

I always do that too @outlander I always commit to do something for someone when I really need to use that time doing things for myself. I hope you can get whatever you have to do done early enough for you to have sometime to do somethings for yourself. I know you don't really get much time for yourself babe.

In response to: Re: Darkness

outlanderSenior Contributor09 July 2020, 9:29 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

Its something that i normally really like doing though @Lee82 but im really not enthusiastic about it. Probably becauae i realised i shouldve used the 2 hours to do the more challenging horses i have that way when i have the kids it would be easier. I guess it is what it is and will have to manage somehow. Hate school holidays. Id normally have the extra 2 hours to do things before they got home but i dont now so its making it hard and harder that my sister also works so ive been taking her and picking her up. She hasnt got her p plates yet otherwise she would take herself.
Sorry for the whinge

In response to: Re: Darkness

Lee82Senior Contributor09 July 2020, 9:33 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

Don't be silly. I don't think you are whinging. So have you had the kids everyday on the holidays? @outlander

In response to: Re: Darkness

outlanderSenior Contributor09 July 2020, 9:37 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

Most days @Lee82 its only been a week but usually i have them from 1 till 11 though so its most of the day and night.
I have them tomorrow but not the weekend thankfully. Then every day next week except friday which is my procedure day.

In response to: Re: Darkness

Lee82Senior Contributor09 July 2020, 9:42 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

Geez @outlander that is a lot of responsibility on your shoulders. How have you been coping with it? Do they at least help you out with things?

In response to: Re: Darkness

outlanderSenior Contributor09 July 2020, 9:50 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

They help out with their horses @Lee82 and open and close gates or help fill up the waters where its safe to do it but the other horses are my responsibility and some are quite a handful even for someone whose experienced. The older one helps abit with the washing and dishes but theres not usually much for them to do. The horses are the major things atm.

In response to: Darkness

Zoe7Senior Contributor09 July 2020, 9:51 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

Oh no - you are the enemy then @Lee82 I am a Lions supporter but we look like losing by a bit tonight. The first half was good but Geelong ran all over us in the third quarter and we don't look like doing any better in the last. Oh well - just another game ...it is hard to get too excited about the footy this year. I am having more fun watch Toby play with one of his squeaky toys on his bed - super cute.

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Aboriginal flag

Torres Strait Islander flag

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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.