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Something’s not right

Darkness

Darkness

Well it's been a hellish few weeks, I have fallen into the rabbit hole and there seems no escape this time. The darkness has come and it thicker than the fires of hell.

Things just don't seem to going right at all and my MH is just getting worse and worse. Not sleeping (afraid to sleep) not eating and not taking my meds. I know this doesn't help but why bother because when I am on them I either feel zone out or that they do nothing anyways. I didn't make it work today, got to the front and was physically sick and froze again. Crawled back into bed where I stayed untill I had an unexpected call.

My 3 main MH professional and I in a conference call, at the end of the call I was given a choice be sectioned or have my ex move back in temporarily to provide around the clock monitoring, this means for at least two weeks of him being here making sure I eat, take my meds and be present for all appointments and no SH. I am not happy about either option but because of teenager trauma in a MH hospital I am taking the ex.

I will not be as active as normal but I will check in. but like tonight, I may just support posts as I am struggling to even type this. So @Snowie @eth @Lee82 @Eden1919 @Purplerain @Lotusgirl amd anyone I missed I will be getting the care I need and will be safe. To some of the newest forum members please forgive me if it takes a bit for me to get back to you.

6906 replies

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In response to: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Yes one more week @Lee82 but I have a lot to get done before Tuesday as I am meeting the teacher I will be sharing the class with then and want to be able to give her all the up to date notes, assessments and reports. I have made a start this afternoon sorting things out as I have been feeling a little better. My headache is nearly completely gone and I have been able to eat a proper meal tonight.

Tobes has been trying to help - he layed right in the middle of everything I had on the floor lol - and Cat has also been on the table sitting on things as well ...happy little helpers they are

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Hahaha....well at least they didn't eat your homework.
@Zoe7

sorry bad joke. lol
well we now have another week off school because of the restrictions and I'm guessing to give the teachers time to organise for remote learning again. They were suppose to go back to school on Monday. Then it's 5 weeks of homeschooling.

In response to: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Missing you babe. Hope you are doing ok.
thank you for checking in though.

@Former-Member ❤️❤️

In response to: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Watching Avengers Endgame and cried when Tony said "Love you 3000" was thinking of my dear friend, someone I have never meant but love like I have known her my whole life. Someone who makes my crappy days just a little better, who embraces all aspects of me and has shown me more compassion, empathy and love I have ever received from a friend. Thank you from the bottom of my heart and know that while I am not here much you are always close to my heart Mel.

I am way to emotional to be here tonight, so hopefully I can catch you tomorrow my love. @Lee82

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Funny you should say tat @Lee82 When Tobes was a puppy he chewed up part of one of my kids school books. I must have knocked it off the table when I left and came home to paper chewed up everywhere. Luckily the kid whose book it was was a really good student and between us we redid what was in her book. It was only the beginning of the year so luckily there was not much in there.

It is such a difficult situation having to have the kids at home for 6 more weeks Hon. Maybe use this extra week of holidays to get routines set up so it is not as overwhelming when home learning begins again. The little things like setting aside a couple of hours throughout the day for the kids to be reading, writing, doing some online maths games would get them used to it again.

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

@Lee82 I am going to log off and watch the footy so will catch up with you later. Sending love and strength Hon

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

That was absolutely beautiful to read my gorgeous friend. I am speechless. I have tears in my eyes. I hope you know that I feel the same way about you. It's really strange that we have never met but I feel closer to you then I do to friends I have known here for 10 years. I love you like you are my sister and will never let you down. I promise I will always be here for you beautiful.
@Former-Member

you are an amazing, beautiful, caring person hun and i wish you could see that about yourself. I wish you could see just how perfect you are and I hope you know you are super special to me and not a day goes by that I don't think about you.
I gotta stop there as I am starting to really cry now and my son has asked me why I am crying.
I wish you the world my love and will love you unconditionally forever. ❤️❤️

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Oh no way...thank goodness it was an understanding student and you were able to fix it up for them.
yea Boris has chewed up 2 library books I borrowed once. The first time explaining it to the librarian was bad enough but having to go back in there a couple weeks later and tell them the same story was unbelievably embarrassing.
hope you enjoy the footy. Who do you barrack for if you don't mind me asking? We are a pies family here. Mr9 is obsessed with them and playing footy. He has a football in his hand every single day. Even around the house. He has this baby soft toy footy that he likes to kick around the house...lol

@Zoe7

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

@Lee82 💖

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Hey @outlander how have you been hun?

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