Darkness

Hey beautiful.

the news about your parents made me smile and my heart feel all warm for you babe. I really hope it all goes well and I have everything crossed for you. I am so happy for you honey. I really hope this is what you need to help you heal. Love you more than you know gorgeous. Always and forever!! Every single one of you!!
💗 @Former-Member 💗

I'm so sorry I haven't been around these past couple days. It has been real rough and on top of everything I have a real terrible cold and had to get COVID tested again today. 😔

so once again I am in lockdown. My brother is also in lockdown because he lives in a hot spot so I can't see him for 6 weeks and I can no longer go and see my mh team cause they are also in a hot spot. So I am having a pretty unbelievably sh**ty time right now. Anxiety has just gone up a hell of a lot more because of all of this and to top it all off I had a pretty horrific nightmare last night that has left me feeling very vulnerable, scared, confused and on edge.
I have hit the lowest point I have hit in a long time and I don't want to fight anymore. I have no strength left in me.

@outlander @NatureLover @Zoe7

I hope there comes a time very soon when you don't have to keep being strong, and you can be content instead @Lee82. Until then, the forums got your back

My love, I am so sorry everything is pretty sh*ttie for right now. I want to tell you to hang in there, to remember how much you mean to the boys and your brother and me, I want to tell you to remember our promise to each other, to remember how loved and cared about you are here by not only me but our other friends as well. But at the end of the day they are just words, you need to want all of those things as well. I really want you to be strong, to fight, to remember just how much you mean to me and how utterly lost I would be without you. Can't really express it in words but you are so important and matter so much babe. I love you forever and always. 💜Nikki @Lee82

Hey @Lee82 Hearing how very hard it is for you right now Hon. Another cold and even longer in lockdown is super tough - especially when your supports are also in lockdown zones The good thing about hitting rock bottom (and I use 'good' loosely) is that the only way is up hey. It is a really diffiult situation you are in but unfortunately there is nothing you can change about the lockdown so working with it the best you can is all you can do. We have your back here Lee so reach out when you need to

Good night my gorgeous friend, I hope you manage a little sleep tonight. Love you 3000 @Lee82

Good night @Zoe7 @outlander @Bunniekins 💖💖

Goodnight sweet @Former-Member Hope tomorrow is good to you Hon

If you have no more strength or fight @Lee82 lean on your friends and family here in the forums hun. I have been where you are for a long, long time. I know your journey is a different one to mine, but I understand that despair, hopelessness and loss of all hope. You are much loved by so many, but like @Former-Member Nikki has said, words can't make you feel better unless you believe them within yourself. Just do whatever it is to hold on to that tiny, tiny thread of hope that I know is inside you. Take life one minute, one hour at a time. We are all here for you. I know I haven't been an active supporter for you for some time, and I am sorry if it seems like I might have abandoned you. But I never did. I just stayed more in the background as I was having my own battles both within the forum and outside of.

Hey @Sans911 thank you so much for your kind words and support. I completely understand that sometimes we all need a little break from supporting as we may be the one that needs the support. I have never felt like you have abandoned me. I have noticed you using the supports buttons from time to Time and they mean just as much. So thank you for that as well.
I hope you are feeling a little better about being around here as well as irl.
@Sans911