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Darkness

Unknown userMember23 Apr 2020, 7:03 pm AEST

Darkness

Well it's been a hellish few weeks, I have fallen into the rabbit hole and there seems no escape this time. The darkness has come and it thicker than the fires of hell.

Things just don't seem to going right at all and my MH is just getting worse and worse. Not sleeping (afraid to sleep) not eating and not taking my meds. I know this doesn't help but why bother because when I am on them I either feel zone out or that they do nothing anyways. I didn't make it work today, got to the front and was physically sick and froze again. Crawled back into bed where I stayed untill I had an unexpected call.

My 3 main MH professional and I in a conference call, at the end of the call I was given a choice be sectioned or have my ex move back in temporarily to provide around the clock monitoring, this means for at least two weeks of him being here making sure I eat, take my meds and be present for all appointments and no SH. I am not happy about either option but because of teenager trauma in a MH hospital I am taking the ex.

I will not be as active as normal but I will check in. but like tonight, I may just support posts as I am struggling to even type this. So @Snowie @eth @Lee82 @Eden1919 @Purplerain @Lotusgirl amd anyone I missed I will be getting the care I need and will be safe. To some of the newest forum members please forgive me if it takes a bit for me to get back to you.

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In response to: Darkness

Lee82Senior Contributor03 July 2020, 5:48 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

I am here with you Nikki. I feel exactly the same way. I was brought up to believe in god too and I feel the same way about it all. If there was a god then why are we being made to suffer so much pain and hurt.
I child should not have to go through what you went through babe and no adult should have to endure what you are enduring right now. It's not fair.
@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Darkness

outlanderSenior Contributor03 July 2020, 5:53 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

@Lee82 @Former-Member 💐💐💐

In response to: Re: Darkness

Lee82Senior Contributor03 July 2020, 6:09 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

@outlander How are you doing tonight hun?

In response to: Darkness

NatureLoverSenior Contributor03 July 2020, 6:20 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

@Shaz51 wrote:
I was emotional and mentally abused by my father
even though mum and I left when i was 12 , the rejecction and the abuse kept on going until i was 43 as we still lived in the same town

Am very sorry to hear this, @Shaz51 💔

In response to: Re: Darkness

Unknown userMember03 July 2020, 6:28 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

All I can say is thank you again, it doesn't seem enough though. You guys are such wonderful friends and so very supportive. I know a lot of us don't have the right support irl, I am just so greatful for the support here. It took Izzy a week to finish signing up here and then another week to post her first thing and I am so glad she did. You lot me me as sane as I can possibly be right right now and also keep me safer then I deserve to be. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. @Lee82 @NatureLover @outlander @Shaz51

In response to: Re: Darkness

Unknown userMember03 July 2020, 6:37 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

@Shaz51 , I am sorry that it continued for so long that is tough. Thank you for your understanding and yes I know it was their fault and not gods, just sometimes it all just gets too much and I ramble.

@NatureLover , you my friend have a beautiful soul and and amazing heart. Thank you.

@Lee82 , it's just not right that you suffered either, I agree no child should have to go through any kind of abuse and adult hood should not be about trying to undo that damage. I love you my friend.

How are you ladies doing today?

In response to: Re: Darkness

Shaz51Senior Contributor03 July 2020, 6:48 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

just sometimes it all just gets too much and I ramble. , It does my friend @Former-Member but we are strong , and to keep on keeping on which is hard sometimes