Darkness

Goodnight @Former-Member Hope you sleep well Hon

I wish you didn't have to go Nikki. I want to keep talking to you but I understand that you have to go and take care of you.
love you unconditionally my friend. ❤️
@Former-Member

@Former-Member - goodnight take good care of yourself

Not feeling sorry for yourself @Lee82 They are all very vaid feelings and go hand in hand with depression unfortunately. I too have been right where you are now so do not for one instant think you are simply feeling sorry for yourself - it does super suck and it does feel like there is no way through. I can only say from experience that I was in the same boat for a long time and it was people here that held me up, held out hope and supported me all the way through - so lean on us Hon - because we not only get it but many of us have been there ourselves. I hold out the light for you to find when you can Lee

Good night @Former-Member I hope your sleep is restful and tomorrow’s sun shines on you.

💙🧡💙

@Zoe7 You are truly amazing. Thank you so much for all your kind words. I feel very guilty that I haven't been around the forum lately. That I haven't been able to give support to anyone right now. I feel so bad and horrible for not being around. My head just can't cope with anything at the moment. I really can't even think for myself right now. I don't know how to search for the light Zoe. I don't have any idea anymore what to do or how to feel better. I feel so out of control. out of touch with everyone and everything. What am I doing so wrong? I just want someone to tell me what to do. I feel so desperate at the moment. It's pathetic

There is no need to feel guilty for not being around nor supporting others @Lee82 Right now it is you who needs that support. Many of us have been in your shoes and personally one thing that the forum has taught me is that reaching out for that when needed AND accepting that support without conditions or feelings that you are not yourself giving anything is so important. There will always be times you can give to others Hon but right now it is us giving to you both because we care and because you need it.

You are not doing anything wrong Lee - your are hurting and that is not your fault. MI kicks our butts sometimes and leaves us in that dark hole. I do hear you cannot see any light and that is why, lie others before me have done for me, I will hold onto that light and hope for you. There is a way out of this Hon but it is often a long and difficult road ...but each day is a day closer to finding that way so continue to get through each day, each hour,each minute.

Hi there @Lee82

I am noticing that you are posting a number of times about your distress tonight. I am so sorry that you are now feeling desperate. Are you able to keep yourself safe Lee? If you are in a crisis please phone 000.

And please reach out to a help line as you will cannot get crisis support here on the forums.

• Lifeline: 13 11 14 (24/7)
• Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 (24/7)
• Samaritans: 135 247 (24/7)

We all really hope you are able to get some peave and rest soon.

take care

Whitehawk

Everyday, every hour, every minute just gets harder and harder. I feel helpless @Zoe7 I feel like I am beyond help. Broken beyond repair. I feel very guilty for wasting so many people's time and effort. I just disappoint everyone.

I see another side here to you @Lee82 - one that has compassion for others, cares about how they are and what they do and is honest with your emotions and struggles. You are not disappointing anyone here and certainly not wasting anyone's time - you are reaching out for support in what is an extremely difficult time for you. I would certainly encourage you to contact one of the helplines that @Former-Member posted if you feel talking through some of this with someone would help.

I need to head to bed myself now Hon - I do not want to leave you alone but I also need sleep myself. Hopefully @Eve7 is still around and can keep you company for a while. Please reach out further if you need to Hon because you matter a great deal and deserve support. Goodnight sweetheart