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Something’s not right

Darkness

Darkness

Well it's been a hellish few weeks, I have fallen into the rabbit hole and there seems no escape this time. The darkness has come and it thicker than the fires of hell.

Things just don't seem to going right at all and my MH is just getting worse and worse. Not sleeping (afraid to sleep) not eating and not taking my meds. I know this doesn't help but why bother because when I am on them I either feel zone out or that they do nothing anyways. I didn't make it work today, got to the front and was physically sick and froze again. Crawled back into bed where I stayed untill I had an unexpected call.

My 3 main MH professional and I in a conference call, at the end of the call I was given a choice be sectioned or have my ex move back in temporarily to provide around the clock monitoring, this means for at least two weeks of him being here making sure I eat, take my meds and be present for all appointments and no SH. I am not happy about either option but because of teenager trauma in a MH hospital I am taking the ex.

I will not be as active as normal but I will check in. but like tonight, I may just support posts as I am struggling to even type this. So @Snowie @eth @Lee82 @Eden1919 @Purplerain @Lotusgirl amd anyone I missed I will be getting the care I need and will be safe. To some of the newest forum members please forgive me if it takes a bit for me to get back to you.

6906 replies

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In response to: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Good morning my gorgeous bff, I hope that you had an alright night and managed some rest. I know you are right about my friend but doubt, worry and fear are my constant companions lately even withmy friendships here it is hard turning it off. Anyway I hope your day is gentle with you. I wont be on much today as I am feeling pretty worked up already, no one else wanted to come play so I plan on having a very quiet day not thinking or doing anything other than our appiontments we have. Please know that you are always in our heart and on our mind. Love you 3000. Nikki @Lee82

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Good morning beautiful Zoe, I hope you have managed to have a good rest and feel ok for your day ahead. I tried to find your thread to wish you good morning there but for the life of me I couldnt find it. Thank you for your tags it means a lot especailly to Izzy. Sending you love, light and the hope that you find moments of happiness in your day. Nikki @Zoe7

Good morning to you gorgeous Nature, sending you love and light and hoping you find moments of joy in your day. Thank you for all of your support and kind words. Nikki @NatureLover

@Eve7 , good morning darling, sending you huge hugs. NIkki

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Hey my beautiful friend. I hope today turns out to be an ok for you hun. Please stay strong and try to keep yourself safe babe at least for me. Having a day where you do nothing and just try to stay present and safe is at least something. I love you unconditionally and will be thinking about you all day today.
I had a pretty sh** night and I am feeling pretty agitated today.
you mean the world to me nikki please remember that babe. 🦋🌼💗

@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness


@Former-Member wrote:

Good morning to you gorgeous Nature, sending you love and light and hoping you find moments of joy in your day. Thank you for all of your support and kind words. Nikki @NatureLover


Thank you for thinking of me, I really appreciate it Nikki, especially with the huge amount that you have on your plate. Right there you provided a "moment of joy" that you wished for me...such beautiful wishes, thank you. I hope today is calmer for you and bearable... @Former-Member has so much to bear. 😞 ❤

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Hey gorgeous how you doing?

@Former-Member 💗

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Hey @NatureLover how you doing today hun?
hope you can find a little sparkle in your day. ⭐️🌈💗

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Thanks for your sweet message and wishes, @Lee82 ❤ My day is OK so far.

How about you...are things manageable today? I really hope so...you deserve some relief.

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Glad to hear your day has been ok @NatureLover

mine is ok too. I am at home at the moment in quarantine as I had a COVID-19 swab yesterday because I have a sore throat. 😔

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Does quarantine mean you can't see your brother, @Lee82 ?

I hope you don't have Covid-19, as that might complicate your mental health recovery...

But I was glad you read your day is OK so far 🙂

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

What a beautiful message to come online to see @Former-Member 💖💖💖

As for a personal thread - I don't have one as no-one 'owns' a thread. We might start one to tell our story but that does not mean it is exclusive and anyone is welcome to post where they wish. I do tend to stick mostly to the Far and Away thread though as much like you here there are connections we have made that are important to us in those places.

I did have a few moments of happiness in my day but still super tired - another early night planned and hopefully better sleep than last night.

Sending you (Nikki), Izzy and @Lee82 a whole heap of love and some more of those squishy hugs - and a little extra light to illuminate your path this evening and going forward 💖💖💖

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