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Something’s not right

Darkness

Darkness

Well it's been a hellish few weeks, I have fallen into the rabbit hole and there seems no escape this time. The darkness has come and it thicker than the fires of hell.

Things just don't seem to going right at all and my MH is just getting worse and worse. Not sleeping (afraid to sleep) not eating and not taking my meds. I know this doesn't help but why bother because when I am on them I either feel zone out or that they do nothing anyways. I didn't make it work today, got to the front and was physically sick and froze again. Crawled back into bed where I stayed untill I had an unexpected call.

My 3 main MH professional and I in a conference call, at the end of the call I was given a choice be sectioned or have my ex move back in temporarily to provide around the clock monitoring, this means for at least two weeks of him being here making sure I eat, take my meds and be present for all appointments and no SH. I am not happy about either option but because of teenager trauma in a MH hospital I am taking the ex.

I will not be as active as normal but I will check in. but like tonight, I may just support posts as I am struggling to even type this. So @Snowie @eth @Lee82 @Eden1919 @Purplerain @Lotusgirl amd anyone I missed I will be getting the care I need and will be safe. To some of the newest forum members please forgive me if it takes a bit for me to get back to you.

6906 replies

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In response to: Darkness

Re: Darkness

That is totally fine @Zoe7 we all care about you so much here and just want you to be doing ok hun. I know you will make it through the other side cause I know you are a survivor, you are courageous and you are strong and determined.
you have a beautiful soul hun. Your school kids a so very lucky to have you as their teacher. 💕

In response to: Darkness

Re: Darkness

How's Tobes going? Please give him a cuddle for me. @Zoe7

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

He is good @Lee82 Hasn't left my side for weeks apart fom when he takes himself off to his bed in the morning just before I head out to work. Cat has also been extra snuggly so that has been lovely. She is such a little sweetheart but often gets left out when Toby 'takes over'. He is a jealous little bugger when Cat is getting cuddles rather than him Tobes cuddled for you 👍

How are you doing tonight?

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

That is so sweet @Zoe7 . I am so glad you have Toby and cat to keep you company. I am sitting on the couch with Boris next to me actually laying on my legs so they are now numb...lol

i am just doing what I can to get through each day right now. Can't do much else. Mentally I am struggling a lot...

I had to go get tested for COVID today which was an extremely uncomfortable thing to do. I have a bit of a cold right now. Sore throat, blocked nose and my body aches.

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Thank you for those super kind words @Lee82 Means so much right now

I am sorry you have a cold and hope it is just that and nothing more serious. It does make our mental state even tougher though so I feel for you Just keep getting through each day as they come Hon - that is all we can do hey

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

I truly mean every word @Zoe7
thank you I'm hoping it's just a cold too. Yea I really didn't need this added stress right now but s**t happens I guess.

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

awww @Lee82

Yes sh#t happens Hon and we just need to deal with what we can when we can

I am going to catch up with the last bit of work I have to do for tonight then hopefully get some sleep. It has been lovely catching up with you - stay strong sweetheart because you are wonderful and despite all obstacles you do keep going and that is truly something 💖💖💖💖💖

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Thanks hun. Right back at you!
hopefully you don't have a lot of work left to do and you get a decent sleep in tonight babe.
All the best. It was lovely chatting with you too and I hope to hear from you again soon. 🦋💕

@Zoe7

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Honey, you need to look at the evidence before you. This person that has been your closest supporter has shown you just what you mean to them and what they are willing to do for you. Please try and not listen to gossip and believe what you hear instead of believing what you see. Actions always speak louder than words hun. Please believe that babe.
I know you are feeling tired but you are a fighter and I know you can keep fighting till you see the light on the other side. You are strong and courageous gorgeous and I know you can keep going.
love you 3000 my BFF.
@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

@Former-Member

It was a beautiful thought to chase up people on their own threads with a good morning.

I "live" over on a thread called Fragile.. At least that is where I post my personal journey, though I mix and mingle around the forum and try and keep a hospitable vibe floating around. It can be a lot of work, as there are a lot of people posting here. Firstly take care of you, and when you have extra share it around.

Cheers

Apple

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