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Something’s not right

Darkness

Darkness

Well it's been a hellish few weeks, I have fallen into the rabbit hole and there seems no escape this time. The darkness has come and it thicker than the fires of hell.

Things just don't seem to going right at all and my MH is just getting worse and worse. Not sleeping (afraid to sleep) not eating and not taking my meds. I know this doesn't help but why bother because when I am on them I either feel zone out or that they do nothing anyways. I didn't make it work today, got to the front and was physically sick and froze again. Crawled back into bed where I stayed untill I had an unexpected call.

My 3 main MH professional and I in a conference call, at the end of the call I was given a choice be sectioned or have my ex move back in temporarily to provide around the clock monitoring, this means for at least two weeks of him being here making sure I eat, take my meds and be present for all appointments and no SH. I am not happy about either option but because of teenager trauma in a MH hospital I am taking the ex.

I will not be as active as normal but I will check in. but like tonight, I may just support posts as I am struggling to even type this. So @Snowie @eth @Lee82 @Eden1919 @Purplerain @Lotusgirl amd anyone I missed I will be getting the care I need and will be safe. To some of the newest forum members please forgive me if it takes a bit for me to get back to you.

6906 replies

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In response to: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Hey Nikki, how you doing hun?
@Former-Member 💗

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

I am sorry my love, not coping at all. I broke my promise, I am safe, Sean is sitting with me and I will be fine. 💜Nikki

I love you 3000 and so much more @Lee82

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Oh honey. I'm so sorry. Can I send you a gentle hug Nikki 💗. Can I ask you what happened babe? No need to answer if you don't want to or can't.
love you more than you know.
@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Mel, my mind just went into overdrive after spending the day with 2 friends. D2 scared me shortly after they left and I had a panic attack, went for a shower and had another one but unfortunitly I passed out that time and I don't know how long before Sean found me, but the left side is now brusied. I just couldn't do anymore, I am at my limit Mel. I am not sure if I will be in the body tomorrow I am trying to "check out" but none of the other alters seem to want come and play.

Thank you for being an amazing friend to all of us, your support and love has helped more than you know.

I wish I could do more for you and your fears. @Lee82

@NatureLover @outlander @Former-Member , Thank you guys also for the support and friendship you offer Izzy and her alters. I am hoping you have had gentle days.

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

@Former-Member @Lee82 So much love and huge squishy hugs for you both. You are stronger than you know and more courageous than you feel.

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

honey I am so so sorry to hear that. What a big day you have had. any more news about hospital?
wish I could help you more babe. I feel so helpless here. I don't even know what to say babe. You have had a very rough time and my heart is breaking for you. I want to be there with you right now to give you a big hug my beautiful friend.
please stay strong Nikki. I know you can do this. I know it's hard right now but I have faith in you.
@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Thank you so much @Zoe7

how have you been hun?

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Still struggling quite a lot @Lee82 but will get there 👍

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Anything you want to talk about @Zoe7 ?

im here for you hun if want to chat. If not that is ok just know that I am thinking of you and will be here always if you need someone to talk to.

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Thank you Hon but I am not in any frame of mind to talk about anything. It is simply a process of getting through and hopefully coming out the other side quickly @Lee82 Plenty to deal with but for tonight I am trying to put it all to the back of my mind.

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