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Darkness

Unknown userMember23 Apr 2020, 7:03 pm AEST

Darkness

Well it's been a hellish few weeks, I have fallen into the rabbit hole and there seems no escape this time. The darkness has come and it thicker than the fires of hell.

Things just don't seem to going right at all and my MH is just getting worse and worse. Not sleeping (afraid to sleep) not eating and not taking my meds. I know this doesn't help but why bother because when I am on them I either feel zone out or that they do nothing anyways. I didn't make it work today, got to the front and was physically sick and froze again. Crawled back into bed where I stayed untill I had an unexpected call.

My 3 main MH professional and I in a conference call, at the end of the call I was given a choice be sectioned or have my ex move back in temporarily to provide around the clock monitoring, this means for at least two weeks of him being here making sure I eat, take my meds and be present for all appointments and no SH. I am not happy about either option but because of teenager trauma in a MH hospital I am taking the ex.

I will not be as active as normal but I will check in. but like tonight, I may just support posts as I am struggling to even type this. So @Snowie @eth @Lee82 @Eden1919 @Purplerain @Lotusgirl amd anyone I missed I will be getting the care I need and will be safe. To some of the newest forum members please forgive me if it takes a bit for me to get back to you.

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In response to: Darkness

BunniekinsSenior Contributor29 May 2020, 3:50 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

@Former-Member Izzy xx

In response to: Darkness

Unknown userMember29 May 2020, 3:54 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

Nature, I haven't been anywhere near a horse in 29 years (dam I am old 😂) So I am definitely a little nervous about being near them but they are just the most awesome creation such gifted animals. When I was on a horse nothing else mattered, through some of most horrific abuse if someone would let me ride then it just gave me a sense of freedom and control. I tried a couple of times to run away on horse back but never got far because I was always concern about the horse. I would rather get the horse home, settled and safe no matter what danger I was facing.

🌵💖 @NatureLover 💖🌵

🌸💖 @Lee82 💖🌸 I love you 3000

In response to: Re: Darkness

Lee82Senior Contributor29 May 2020, 4:16 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

Hey Izzy. I am so sorry I haven't been around. It's been an extremely rough day for me here.

I see that you have had a lot of support though which I am very grateful for.

I'm sorry I haven't been able to be one of those today 😞

Love you always and forever

@Former-Member

In response to: Darkness

Unknown userMember29 May 2020, 4:17 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

Lovely photo of your dear little doggie @Former-Member ... she does look like she is enjoying her pats, the little sweetheart. 🐶👍

Like @NatureLover , I too like how you personalise your emoticons for each member. 💓 Very individual.

@Former-Member Sounds like you used to ride horses a lot Izzy. I was born and lived on a farm all my growning up years. Mostly my Dad worked as a Station Hand and he always had a horse to do stock work. So his boss always said my sister and I could use his horses to ride any time we wanted. They needed the work, besides anything else. So I basically lived on horseback. Had neighbouring farmers kids who I used to meet up with for rides etc, some of them miles away. Cant believe the amount of freedom we had as kids. And never got ourselves into any real trouble. So when I was old enough to get a horse of my own, about 10 or 11yo I would have been. I got a cast off pony someone else never wanted. That pony was my best mate, we went everywhere together. She was called Flicka. I got other horses eventually, as a late teen and bred our own foals etc. I had horses right up until I married, at 36yo. I have ridden very rarely since then, which is a bit of a pity. But I do still love horses.

It sounds like you have some happy memories associated with horses, so I expect your horse therapy will be very beneficial to you. When does it start, or do you not know yet?

Sherry 💕🤗

In response to: Re: Darkness

NatureLoverSenior Contributor29 May 2020, 4:27 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

@Former-Member wrote:
I tried a couple of times to run away on horse back but never got far because I was always concern about the horse. I would rather get the horse home, settled and safe no matter what danger I was facing.

I can easily believe this @Former-Member as you have such a caring heart.

I'm so sorry about your horrific abuse 😞 😞

In response to: Re: Darkness

Unknown userMember29 May 2020, 4:55 pm AEST

Re: Darkness

Bub I have to talk to Nat in five but I will be back and if you can if the boys don't need you, I would love you to spend so time with us here. PLEASE 🌸💖 @Lee82 💖🌸

In response to: Re: Darkness

Lee82Senior Contributor29 May 2020, 5:03 pm AEST