Topic Tuesday // What can you do when a loved one doesn't want help? // Tues 22 Oct, 7pm AEDT

@Adge I am glad you have that safe space with your psychologist.

Focusing on "Being mindful of" (really noticing) what the person is saying - can help me to bear the strong emotions that I'm feeling.

For example, when being triggered by someone or something.

Adge

@Adge Yes noticing is powerful and not attaching any meaning to what we're noticing. Just witnessing and then letting go.

Do others relate to these fears? What kind of strategies do you use to help this?-- yes @Former-Member , @Former-Member

with both my husband and my mum

I will put it in the different levels of degrees

somethings need to be done now but other things I can leave and bring it up in the futher closer to when we need to make a decission

other times I will leave mum and my husband a suggestion to help them be part of the things that might happen

I find writting them down to when to bring things up or to let things go

I am still learning , i have made a couple of too sudden decission but overall it is getting better xx

I'm doing a "Trauma-focused Yoga" course, starting next week @Former-Member @Former-Member @Shaz51

It's a 5 week course (small group), especially for people with Complex PTSD & trauma backgrounds.

I find yoga helpful, I've been doing twice weekly yoga classes, for the past 8 years.

Yoga incorporates some Mindfulness too.

Adge

On a side note a bit I think it helps when you know yourself well what you can and can’t do as a carer. Fairly recently I have made a friend who has complex mh issues too. I knew my natural inclination would be to be her carer but I also knew my mh is not stable. I spoke to my therapist about it and came up with some boundaries about how this friendship would work best. I then discussed them with my friend so we had some security around dealing with our mh. It was basically that I dealt with mine using my supports and she used her supports for hers. We both know that we have supports that are not each other. It is working well. When we catch up we can talk about our week and mh but it’s not the focus of the friendship. Enjoying each other’s company is more important, and sometimes that includes the dark and heavy too and sometimes it’s just talking about random things. I know this is not a carer thing as such but I thought I’d share.

I like this @Shaz51 it sounds like you have developed a way of timing things now and sometimes delaying your responses. This is a helpful strategy to alleviate that sense of urgency.

Oh wow @Adge that sounds fabulous. I admire your commitment of 8 years, what a beautiful investment in SELF.