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Topic Tuesday // What can you do when a loved one doesn't want help? // Tues 22 Oct, 7pm AEDT

Unknown userMember24 Sept 2019, 12:50 pm AEST

Topic Tuesday // What can you do when a loved one doesn't want help? // Tues 22 Oct, 7pm AEDT

For this event we have special guest @Former-Member who is the Manager of the SANE Australia Help Centre and supports the counsellors both clinically and operationally. @Former-Member has extensive experience as a counsellor in the Mental Health sector and has worked with both people whom live with mental health issues and their carers or family and friends.

We will be idea and knowledge sharing around tools and reflecting on feelings that can come up for you as the supporter/loved one/carer and balancing your own wellbeing.

Want to receive an email reminder on the night? Hit the 'Support' button below.

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I'm new here - what is Topic Tuesday?

Topic Tuesday runs from 7pm - 9pm AEDT monthly. Each month we focus on a different topic, with the session facilitated by a Community Manager or Moderator. Sometimes Topic Tuesday will feature a special guest, who is an expert in the topic.

The first post of the thread (this one) will give you an idea of what the topic is and what will be covered.

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Throughout the session, the facilitator will put questions out for you to answer, usually asking for your own experience on the topic. To contribute to the session, just hit the 'reply' button and share your thoughts. No answers are right or wrong and everyone is welcome to get involved.

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In response to: Topic Tuesday // What can you do when a loved one doesn't want help? // Tues 22 Oct, 7pm AEDT

Unknown userMember22 Oct 2019, 8:26 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // What can you do when a loved one doesn't want help? // Tues 22 Oct, 7pm AEDT

@Adge Sorry to hear that, I hope you were able to get some support from others that know you well.

In response to: Topic Tuesday // What can you do when a loved one doesn't want help? // Tues 22 Oct, 7pm AEDT

Unknown userMember22 Oct 2019, 8:29 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // What can you do when a loved one doesn't want help? // Tues 22 Oct, 7pm AEDT

@Teej Yeah I think communicating is key. Asking what people need and expressing your own needs is really important.

In response to: Topic Tuesday // What can you do when a loved one doesn't want help? // Tues 22 Oct, 7pm AEDT

Unknown userMember22 Oct 2019, 8:30 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // What can you do when a loved one doesn't want help? // Tues 22 Oct, 7pm AEDT

Wonderful insight @Teej from both sides there - more great ideas to add to strategies/toolbox! ✨

In response to: Topic Tuesday // What can you do when a loved one doesn't want help? // Tues 22 Oct, 7pm AEDT

FracturedlightSenior Contributor22 Oct 2019, 8:30 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // What can you do when a loved one doesn't want help? // Tues 22 Oct, 7pm AEDT

@Former-Member Yes I have the most amazing family and friends. That's the hardest thing too because it's hard to look at the people you love the most and see the hurt in their eyes when you do finally drop the walls down. Vulnerability is the most painful thing. I usually just shut down. I think the biggest thing is it is so vitally important that when someone finally gets to that vulnerable place and starts talking that listening to hear rather than respond is critical...

thank you to all the loved ones, carers, volunteers especially on here and lifeline you guys are incredible and life saving ❤

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // What can you do when a loved one doesn't want help? // Tues 22 Oct, 7pm AEDT

AdgeSenior Contributor22 Oct 2019, 8:31 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // What can you do when a loved one doesn't want help? // Tues 22 Oct, 7pm AEDT

Thanks @Former-Member No I didn't.

I live on my own, with no friends nearby.

Seeing my psychologist was essentially my only support.

Adge

In response to: Topic Tuesday // What can you do when a loved one doesn't want help? // Tues 22 Oct, 7pm AEDT

Unknown userMember22 Oct 2019, 8:32 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // What can you do when a loved one doesn't want help? // Tues 22 Oct, 7pm AEDT

It can feel really terrible when a loved one is resistant to help or doesn’t want to access support that you may feel could be helpful. The sense of helplessness can be overwhelming and just having to sit with that feeling of helplessness can be frustrating. This is a time when it is important to practice separating what are your needs and what are your loved ones need, what is your anxiety and what is theirs. When your sitting in this helpless state it can be useful to focus on what you can control and what you cant. Often you will come to recognise that you can only really manage what is happening for you in that very moment. Mindfulness strategies help you to stay in the present and are useful in you connecting with yourself.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // What can you do when a loved one doesn't want help? // Tues 22 Oct, 7pm AEDT

Unknown userMember22 Oct 2019, 8:35 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // What can you do when a loved one doesn't want help? // Tues 22 Oct, 7pm AEDT

And thank-you @Fracturedlight for your vulnerability and acknowledgement of family and carers. Sometimes your pain can be a gift and it is that vulnerability that provides connection. I think what you said about being responsive and just listening is so spot-on. Sometimes we all just have to sit in it together, and listen without having the answers.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // What can you do when a loved one doesn't want help? // Tues 22 Oct, 7pm AEDT

AdgeSenior Contributor22 Oct 2019, 8:36 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // What can you do when a loved one doesn't want help? // Tues 22 Oct, 7pm AEDT

I find Breathing meditation (incorporating Mindfulness) very helpful @Former-Member

Practicing Mindfulnes right in the moment, whilst out & about - or whilst being screamed at by one of my Disability clients) - I find much more difficult.

Adge

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // What can you do when a loved one doesn't want help? // Tues 22 Oct, 7pm AEDT

Unknown userMember22 Oct 2019, 8:37 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // What can you do when a loved one doesn't want help? // Tues 22 Oct, 7pm AEDT

Yes @Adge mindfulness is so helpful. Just being present.

In response to: Topic Tuesday // What can you do when a loved one doesn't want help? // Tues 22 Oct, 7pm AEDT

Spirit1Casual Contributor22 Oct 2019, 8:38 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // What can you do when a loved one doesn't want help? // Tues 22 Oct, 7pm AEDT

@Teej, thanks

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