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Topic Tuesday // What can you do when a loved one doesn't want help? // Tues 22 Oct, 7pm AEDT

Unknown userMember24 Sept 2019, 12:50 pm AEST

Topic Tuesday // What can you do when a loved one doesn't want help? // Tues 22 Oct, 7pm AEDT

For this event we have special guest @Former-Member who is the Manager of the SANE Australia Help Centre and supports the counsellors both clinically and operationally. @Former-Member has extensive experience as a counsellor in the Mental Health sector and has worked with both people whom live with mental health issues and their carers or family and friends.

We will be idea and knowledge sharing around tools and reflecting on feelings that can come up for you as the supporter/loved one/carer and balancing your own wellbeing.

Want to receive an email reminder on the night? Hit the 'Support' button below.

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I'm new here - what is Topic Tuesday?

Topic Tuesday runs from 7pm - 9pm AEDT monthly. Each month we focus on a different topic, with the session facilitated by a Community Manager or Moderator. Sometimes Topic Tuesday will feature a special guest, who is an expert in the topic.

The first post of the thread (this one) will give you an idea of what the topic is and what will be covered.

How do I get involved?

Topic Tuesday takes place right here! It's text based, so no software is needed. During the session, to keep up with the latest posts hit the 'refresh' button on your browser for the latest posts (it doesn't automatically update). Keep an eye for page numbers at the top & bottom of the page, and jump to the highest page number for the most recent post.

Throughout the session, the facilitator will put questions out for you to answer, usually asking for your own experience on the topic. To contribute to the session, just hit the 'reply' button and share your thoughts. No answers are right or wrong and everyone is welcome to get involved.

If you have any questions about how to use the Forums, check out our Guides.

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In response to: Topic Tuesday // What can you do when a loved one doesn't want help? // Tues 22 Oct, 7pm AEDT

Unknown userMember22 Oct 2019, 8:49 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // What can you do when a loved one doesn't want help? // Tues 22 Oct, 7pm AEDT

As we head towards the end of the night - lets get to the our last question! @Spirit1 @Adge @Fracturedlight @Shaz51 @Teej @outlander @light87

Maintaining and looking after your own identity while maintaining your relationship with your loved one can be difficult. What are the things that you could do that can help you connect with yourself? Asking yourself what are my needs?

In response to: Topic Tuesday // What can you do when a loved one doesn't want help? // Tues 22 Oct, 7pm AEDT

Shaz51Senior Contributor22 Oct 2019, 8:52 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // What can you do when a loved one doesn't want help? // Tues 22 Oct, 7pm AEDT

This is a helpful strategy to alleviate that sense of urgency.-- yes because mr shaz gets soo overwhelmed soo easy @Former-Member

i try to only do a couple of things at a time or else it gets tooo stressful for him

In response to: Topic Tuesday // What can you do when a loved one doesn't want help? // Tues 22 Oct, 7pm AEDT

Unknown userMember22 Oct 2019, 8:52 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // What can you do when a loved one doesn't want help? // Tues 22 Oct, 7pm AEDT

@Teej So good to be able to be transparent and set some boundaries around your friendship. This is important as otherwise you can get really enmeshed in each others lives rather than being able to differentiate and have those boundaries.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // What can you do when a loved one doesn't want help? // Tues 22 Oct, 7pm AEDT

Unknown userMember22 Oct 2019, 8:52 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // What can you do when a loved one doesn't want help? // Tues 22 Oct, 7pm AEDT

@Carer01 ! Missed tagging you apologies! 🧡

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // What can you do when a loved one doesn't want help? // Tues 22 Oct, 7pm AEDT

AdgeSenior Contributor22 Oct 2019, 8:52 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // What can you do when a loved one doesn't want help? // Tues 22 Oct, 7pm AEDT

Yes asking myself "What are my needs"? is a good starting point @Former-Member

That's because I do have trouble identifying (or responding to) my needs, quite often.

Journal writing (how I'm feeling etc) helps me to "Connect with myself", I think.

I'm not sure what else might help...

Adge

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // What can you do when a loved one doesn't want help? // Tues 22 Oct, 7pm AEDT

Spirit1Casual Contributor22 Oct 2019, 8:53 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // What can you do when a loved one doesn't want help? // Tues 22 Oct, 7pm AEDT

@Former-Member I find walking and enjoying nature clears my mind and calms me which enables me to carry on without feeling overwhelmed.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // What can you do when a loved one doesn't want help? // Tues 22 Oct, 7pm AEDT

Unknown userMember22 Oct 2019, 8:54 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // What can you do when a loved one doesn't want help? // Tues 22 Oct, 7pm AEDT

Carers or family and friends can become so enmeshed in their loved ones life that they find it difficult to know who they are anymore. If you ask yourself what is my purpose if I’m constantly responding to someone elses needs, it can be difficult to know who you are. Having an interest or passion that is completely your own and that can help you to connect with others that have the same passion, can be really helpful. Joining a group where you can be active and get out of your head, a walking or running group. Setting yourself some goals that can give you a sense of achieving something can be very useful too. You don’t have to start big, you can start small. Breaking out of the rut you’re in can be helpful to, challenge yourself to do one thing that is different for you on a certain day. It can be anything at all. Develop a routine or rhythm each day that gives you the message that my day begins with ME, whether that ‘s going for a walk or having a cuppa on your own

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // What can you do when a loved one doesn't want help? // Tues 22 Oct, 7pm AEDT

FracturedlightSenior Contributor22 Oct 2019, 8:55 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // What can you do when a loved one doesn't want help? // Tues 22 Oct, 7pm AEDT

I notice that when im helping other people Boundaries and checking in with yourself is important...that you cant control their behaviours or save them essentially but rather guide them gently to see the strength in themselves. Planting seeds so they can grow and nuture them. Of course im quick to say all this rather then listen to myself...lol...it's always easier to help others than help yourself.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // What can you do when a loved one doesn't want help? // Tues 22 Oct, 7pm AEDT

outlanderSenior Contributor22 Oct 2019, 8:55 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // What can you do when a loved one doesn't want help? // Tues 22 Oct, 7pm AEDT

as for your last question @Former-Member
I don't really know. I guess just try to do the things you like to do.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // What can you do when a loved one doesn't want help? // Tues 22 Oct, 7pm AEDT

Shaz51Senior Contributor22 Oct 2019, 8:55 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // What can you do when a loved one doesn't want help? // Tues 22 Oct, 7pm AEDT

What are the things that you could do that can help you connect with yourself? Asking yourself what are my needs?

ammmm , I find i am better doing small self care for myself like having a cuppa under the trees in the garden @Former-Member , @Former-Member

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