Sleeping too much

Well hope what you need happens there @Former-Member you'll be alright ..er freezing here 18 deg cooler than yes, rainy, messing around doing bills trying to reset stuff online etc, got to eat soon, tum just chimed in been up 5hrs on tea and coffee lol. Glad you liked the flowers

Enjoy your eats @TAB It was kind of cool because I came on this thread to say hi to @Former-Member and @Former-Member found your flowers which was a huge surprise 😊💜🤗

So hi 👋 @Former-Member @Former-Member

i imagine your daughter is flat out with her studies and socialising @Former-Member. I hope you are doing ok. I think I saw something about group sessions, crossing fingers they are helpful for you.

I hope you are both travelling ok.

i think I heard your son was visiting @Former-Member. I'm hoping it was lovely and all is well.

@Former-Member I think you asked about my son being away. He was gone for 13 months but it didn't feel like it because we Skyped. It was actually ok because he always had interesting things to share and I got to share his adventures. We haven't actually talked about his travels since I've been home because I knew most of it. I'm hoping it will be a lovely experience for you too. I didn't miss out on anything. I got to see him grow a beard to boot so you don't miss seeing any changes. I met his new girlfriend on Skype and that was nice too. Hopefully it would be the beginning of another new chapter in your life. I know it wasn't quite the same as I still had three sons at home but I'm glad I got to share his journey with him.

I just wanted to say that I've been struggling to post much on the forum. I've been in struggle street for the last month. I post when I'm ok but find I get overwhelmed easily sometimes now. I'm hoping for clearer skies ahead.

Sending hugs 💜🤗💐

Hi everyone!

Bella2, my lunch with an old friend all the way from Chinchilla. It went well thanks for asking. She even brang me a big bunch of fresh flowers and we talked about deep things. After all these years she finally opened up about her lifelong struggle with anxiety and depression. Such a hard time. Shes seeing a psychologist after losing a work friend to suicide a year back - that resurfaced her brothers passing - the same way 15yrs ago. Its very real, and sad. Shes a p/t cleaner, 24/7 carer of her 98yo mum, has two struggling daughters, 3young g'children, and yet here she is with time for me - thank you God.

Working the shop yesterday went well - lots of sales, but was emotionally hard re discussion about my girl. Just me and the 20yo my girls age out front. During a quiet moments we talk (mostly her) and finally the topic of 'my girl' came up. Turns out she knew her well, played with her at Australia Day Celebrations - my girls last day alive. She said my girl "was so happy and well that night, none of us could believe it the next day..."

Its taken 2months for us to face 'the elephant in the room" DID YOU KNOW MY GIRL?" "I KNEW HER WELL!" Oh boy, the conversation was positive but inside it was, oh boy, can't describe it - my heart. O was glad it was MT where i could go sit alone a bit, shed a tear. My lunch friend offered by tx to accompany me to visit my girls headstone if I wanted (only ever been there with my son) but instinctively know it would be too emotionally charged to add to an already busy day.

S1 came about 3 as planned, just before my Chinchilla friend left - which was good because she had a belated grad gift for him - science fiction trilogy's set of books - written by her niece - personally autographed and all. S1 seemed chuffed and took them despite all his retoric about 'getting rid of things' and not wanting gifts.

He looks well, and rested, but had lost weight (6kg - on purpose he said). He visited his dad on the way here and expressed concern about his dads added muscle mass wt loss - just the ageing process he's told..

Think his dads loss will be hard for S1 re losing his sister. We talked about her - said she told him she thinks she's gonna 'die soon' (a few months before she did), it's all a mystery, some kids know I've read.

We talked about lots of things, tears & laughter, and watched a movie we'd not seen "Star Trek Beyond" Felt bad about his allergy, as He blew his nose a lot, got wheezy and blamed my "dusty house" 😞 But said he slept well. Apparently I interrupted him once too often (enthusiasm) but otherwise - all good PTL. He is driving well, and seemed calm, not at all stressed. Waved him off at lunchtime - we arranged my coming to visit him next weekend to see his new flat and do the "walk to remember" for his sister.

Resting the rest of the day, processing everything I guess. Its good to see you all here and get a couple of callout thank you. I'm tired but might check in later.

Hi TAB - have you eaten yet? soz ya back is so troublesom - waer & tear probably (thats all they say to me - think we get padt our useby date with drs when we dont have money).

Teej - soz to hear you're need for hospital admission - hope its a helpful time and you come home stronger soon- chin up. It wont be for a year or two before S1 goes to Germany so plz stick around as might need your help with skype then lol, thanks for popping by - missed ya lately.

Hi Appleblossom & Faith- and- hope - thank you, and everyone else - chat soon. xox

Wow @Former-Member

what a huge weekend you've had. I'm glad you got to experience that time and conversations with your friend. She sounds very special.

S1 sounds like he's trying @Former-Member and you're developing a strong relationship. Sometimes mine jump on board with me when I least expect it and other times I'm a disappointment to them. I think I'm learning to look for the long term patterns. They still want to see me as does S1 with you.

Time for a big rest day tomorrow and wind down again.

Sending hugs

💜🤗

💐❤️💕

Wow @Former-Member .... talk about all weathers in one day .... I can see why you didn't go to visit your girl today with your friend as well ..... please make sure you rest up with plenty of TLC self-care after such a big day .....

And as emotional as it was, I am so glad the lass you work with had such a close interaction with your J .... gently, gently she will probably share more "treasure" moments with you .... aspects of her life from her relationship with other people. Even what S1 said she told him is mystical, but special .... and hopefully just that little bit healing for you .... to think that she knew herself that her time here would be short.

And so special for S1 to share that with you. I am sure it must have been confusing for him for all this time, yet he held it to himself, perhaps as one of his own treasured memories that he has now opened up and shared with you ....

And your friend .... so special .... and unexpected ....

Hugs n hugs .... 🤗🤗🤗💕

@Former-Member It sounds really healthy that you could discuss things socially, manage your internal self, make the call not to visit the grave, and be there for your son. WOW Woman you have come a long way. Give yourself credit

I had a weird similar thing .. at the dinner they were discussing Anna Karenina .. and I disagreed with the lecturer .. and said I did not believe it was the most wonderful book, though I do admire the Russian writers. I was proud I could enter a discussion about suicide where I didnt get all personal or angry or preachy or the things that have been going on in my head for years.

I was able to be light and detached and honest but NOT romanticise or idealise a character's actions. The lecturer knows my story but the others did not and I did not want to bring the mood down as the person whose party it was a loner and often depressed and deserved a decent night.

@Former-Member I am glad you did the self protective thing for you ..

but sorry it got bad enough for you to need respite.