Sleeping too much

Hi @Zoe7 Nice to see you around ..

sometimes I am too numb and upset and can only press the like button .. but I do it to BE HERE and show that I am alive.

Ohhh @Former-Member

that image of the woman half submerged into the landscape and made of landscape is so beautiful. it is te type of imagaery I have had in my mind since I was a teen at school, even before I travelled and discovered the wonders of landscapes around the world.

Re your family .. It doesnt matter if it is normal or not .. or even if they are wrong or not ..they are simply unable to recognise or respond to your sensitivity and needs. I would find both your mother and brother's actions repugnant too. I never did relate to the whole jewellery thing much .. tried to but thought it was another way that I wasnt really a female ..

I know you posted it as an image of feeling distraught with grief ..but then your picture is also so healing for me .. as I have always believed in THE EARTH MOTHER.

I never got to giving much jewellery to my daughter as all the richies around got in first .. with REAL pearls etc .. eventually I could afford to and tried .. but she rejected makeup and all that kind of thing .. though she dresses nicely its about respect and work attire and not fashion, self display or attracting a mate .. .. she also made do with opshop stuff a lot .. another reason why I will always love her ... her values are in the right place even if she wont speak to me.

Yep none of us are feeling great .. but at least we are honest about our vulnerabilities ..

and have valid reasons for the way we feel.

.

Hi @Decadian My son is playing Beethoven Sonata No 1 atm .. I remember it as a kid ..

Dearest @Former-Member

Hi, After reading @Decadians message, and some others and thinking oh, we women have to get all this out, we must speak about it, we need to have these memories and get trhough them or they will repeat and repeat and repeat in our lives.

But it's hard for me to read and I must come back after a little while......

I like how you write Dec and @Appleblossom @utopia @Zoe7 @Former-Member

@Former-Member great advise here if your able to do it....It would be hard for me.

All my jewellery has been stolen from me. I've been so poor, yes, my Mum has done this to me too and I think .....she only sees herself in me and she hates her. I must get through this time. I have no shame getting food vouchers and free seeing glassses.

It's shameful that I need to get though t I have no shame.......

@Plasmo and I agree with you about Centrelink @Decadian.

It's about eduation for me and constant measuring of my medication. And self care. Moderators here are great at that.

PP

I've lost the last 3days, where have I been? Bit disorientated. Don't think I did anything bad. Just withdrew is all I think. Any clues. My posts are vague. Really gotta get homew. Can't seem to pack. Drove ma to shops today but not much else. What's been happening?

?

@Former-Member

I hope the day comes where you notice a half smile in yourself. Just fleeting .. but natural and unforced .. and then fuller and bigger ones.

I really never thought it could happen to me ... my children broke my heart when they tried to make me smile or told me a joke .. I had to laugh for them but.. it was too early for me .. but eventually it started to happen .. unbidden and of its own accord ...

You have been on a mercy trip with your family .. something really tough that you needed to do because you do care.

It has taken a toll and you do need to get back home .. I am sure your dog will love to get back home too .. just take the time that it takes .. its ok

I am a bit like @PeppiPatty in that I live beyond shame too .. HI BELLA .. we are friends that dont always need to talk .. your more girly soft side was very good for me to soften my hard edges a little.

Thanks to both of you. You have been good online friends .. not virtual ..

Love you @Former-Member .... ❤️💕

Hi @PeppiPatty

Thanks for your comments - I had a few bad days thinking about my mother - aw - she was so harsh and had I taken much notice of her it would have twisted me up

Of course she thought I was crazy because I took my son to a child psychiatrist and then took him to see one I started seeing - and this psychiatrist wanted to talk to my mother to help her understand the situation but you would have thought my mother had be indicted for a terrible crime - the way she carried on - and yet now in my mature years I know my mother was afraid of me - she had no control over me because all the help I got from wherever I got it saved me

But yes - the memories kick in - and we need those memories but we also need to have them in the right place

I found my copy of Women who Run with the Wolves and when I read it the first time I annotated it and it is really interesting to read all those annotations - written over 20 years ago now - how true - how right - what a fantastic book!!!

After my mother died I took myself on an inner journey and found all my memories and I spoke to my elderly uncles and even went to the War Memorial and found out more about my grandfahter and doing all this I found my mother to be a very sad and bitter woman and with her life - why not?

But still - there are times when I think it is true for everyone who cares enough to own their feelings - those memories rise and bite at times - and this is perfectly normal

I should start a thread on this - you know - Little girls are not necessarily made of sugar and spice and all things nice - but sometimes mud puddles and sand pits and an incurable interest in natural history and bring home bugs and crittures and stray cats. Society wants women compliant and we need not be

Anyway - that's my mother for now - she had no idea I loved her - but like her - no - I don't think so.

And along with Plasmo - your thoughts on Centrelink have been appreciated - aw - I did inherited a little from my mother which can help a lot so I can take a holiday now and again and have the prescription glasses I have always needed - and I had a vivid dream last night about my bro and how little he inherited - that dream was so vivid - he did not have it in for me - and I want to remember that dream and that dream-conversation -

Enough about this - I am glad I shared it -

Dec