Sleeping too much

oMG @Former-Member

I am here - I just read your message - and yes - the way you are feeling is normal - omg - is it ever normal

I have gathered your mother has a form of dementia - I could be wrong about that - but I think she is confused and it hurts you to have here refer to your "little girl" like that. My heart bleeds for you -

Do you like the necklace and earrings? If you do - take them - if you don't or think your little girl would - maybe take them and "hide them" near her grave - bury them there and never look again - if someone takes them then that is their kharma - not yours

What a crappy thing to have happen - I am so sorry - my mother has said crappy things about my son and they destroy me - possible one reason I have coped better since she died because she hasn't said one word about him -

I really understand

What your brother did with the message and photo is sick and horrible and nasty - delete it - you can't change him - and giving someone the last word is a powerful act - it is so frustrating to have the last word - I practise this often - of course it doesn't make people love me but then - as with TS at the funeral - I don't need that kind of stuff happening

It's normal to feel as you do right now - how do you pack and get out of there - okay - short answer - get a couple of gar-bags and toss your stuff in and stuff it in your car and walk out and drive as far as you can before you think a break is necessary and then stop and cry or pray or scream or whatever - play your music as you drive and sing at the top of your voice - get away from the house of terrible memories and dysfunctional people as fast as you can - the situation is toxic and you have been there for the anniversary of your daughter's death - and that is a day I know I can't get away from myself

Aw - I am so sorry - sending this now - with hugs and love

Dec

@Former-Member

I can tell you I didn't scream and shout and have sparklers or fireworks and celebrate Australia Day

Actually - I feel as British as I do Australian - and I am glad I am an Australian - glad my grandparents and other ancestors came here from England and Northern Ireland - glad we are a free country

But it seems it's another excuse for a lot of partying - and sport - and drinking -

I sat here alone then spent a long time on the computer - I thought of you a lot

Lots of hugs - I understand how devastating all of this is or can be

Just one of those circumstances or happenstances of dates - my son died on 16th July - the anniversary of the assassination of the Russian Royal Family in 1918

Dec

@Former-Member @Decadian

Hi @Zoe7

Good to see you again - I hope you are feeling okay

Dec

@Decadian I'm ok - long road ahead - lot to process and deal with.

Thanks for replying - didn't expect it!

How are you doing?

Hi @TAB

Hi @Zoe7

Of course I replied - I noticed you hadn't been in for a while and I had gathered things were tough for you

But you acknowledged that things have been tough for me and for @Former-Member and very tough for both of us recently

I see other people have replied also - we care about our Forum Family - you are one of us

Welcome back

Dec

@Decadian thanks x

and

@Former-Member am thinking of you both - that is all I can do for now. Take care of yourselves

I realise I don't really have my own thread - so this one is well read - and a good one to post to

It's getting hot here again - Melbourne - and I am starting to get a headache so it's time to close the house, treat the headache and get off the screen for a while

Things were tough when I had a lot of mother-stuff and last night I told God all about it - and I do this so I know he is well aware - and cried because I never did a thing to cause her to be so horrible - and I feel better about that today after crying for a while

I got triggered about her during the week - centrelink has done something about the assets test and I have lost a lot of my pension - it was a trigger - a huge one - and I rang Centrelink because I cannot read PDF documents and so they have closed my myGov account and will send me notification in paper so I will know more - it has taken several calls to get that far - and it is all a pain in the tail -

I remember when the pension was so small I really struggled to get through each fortnight - and I had no assets to consider - and now I have some - I had no idea were going to arrive ever - I wonder that my mother could not have helped me out years ago -

And yes - we can't change what parents do - but it would be wonderful if they could have acknowledged how hard things were - I remember asking Dad if he could lend me some money to have something decent to wear to my uncle's funeral and my mother snapped "What does she do will all her money?"

I never asked - I would not have got a sensible answer - but what money was she talking about - she was totally ignorant of life on the pension before pension reform - so yes - I feel better now but my mother - just thinking about her - gives me a bad pain in my heart

sorry to rant - I have not said much about this until I feel better - but I need to treat this headache and prevent heat stress

Back later everyone

Dec