Sleeping too much

Thanks for your thoughts @Former-Member

I have not had my toes trodden on - but you are way off about my sister

If we were twins and I had been born first and our mother still picked her as favourite and Dad still picked me as favourite TS would still be picking fights and there is no way to fight with someone who gives you the last word and refuses to play your games - and I give TS the last word and refuse to play her games and she tries harder and the situation at our aunt's funeral a few weeks ago pushed me past the point of wanting to care - but alas - I do.

I would not bother to go back - I have not bothered to go back - and list the nastiness of her behaviour - but I will say one thing - I was not told when our mother's ashes were interred and this stings - but I am not going to fight with my sister - I let her have her own way unless she want's to play games and then I am hard to deal with

But even if I went on with all her wishes there is no hope anything would be any better - it's something only time can repair - and my time is getting short - I am getting older

It really hurts that she is like this - and I have had to protect myself - however - there is always hope while there is time - if we have that time

But after well over 60 years of bitterness from my sister's side I have no feeling things can change - she was very spoilt as a child - I was far harder for our mother to deal with

Still - thanks for your essay - I enjoyed reading it - and I will say that once our mother said to me that she could not understand how two sisters could be so different

But If I agreed with my sister that black was black - whatever colour it was - we would b arguing

Dec

Hi @Faith-and-Hope

I am not at all supprised to read this - but I am not sure when your saw the councellor - was that recent

Yes - bitterness will turn to hatred - one reason to call a spade a spade and protect ourselves from people who are not about to change at all - we have to bend over backward to accommodate their behaviour and moods etc and this can be unpleasant for you or anyone in your plate

I have been harder on my oppposition - my MIL was never my friend - I married her precious son and there was no way back from that - after all that - I divorced her precious son and there was no way back from that -

So what can we do?

Oh - I get it - that happened a long while ago - and was it the hallmark of being unable to pray for her?

Really?

I don't know if I ever prayed for my MIL - let me think - I met her in 1963 - I was not at the stage of praying for her - for anything much - the prayers and hymns I sang or recited in church didn't mean much too me when I was in my teens - it was the BCP and the priest would chant the prayers - and I would be counting the lines left in the prayer book as I learned these prayers by heart but did not think about what they meant - and starting all this with my MIL wasn't something I ever thought about

My faith matured but I don't think I ever thought about it

So - if you were unable to prayer for your MIL was that because you couldn't find any prayers for Mother-in-Laws in your prayer book because I am pretty sure there weren't any - and I would have to look at the prayers for special occassions now but I am sure there are not any

If you need to pray for someone but the thought doesn't occur - or there are no prayers or that person doesn't inspire your prayers - ah - I am letting you off the hook

Now - if you want to pray - that's totally different

Anyway - I get it - I understand you - my MIL died a few years back - I forget when

My mother died two years ago today - I prayed for her - night and day and night and day - often - all the time - I prayed for her for weeks, months, years, decades - and eventually she died

And I couldn't figure out why I felt so flat today - I had nightmares all night and today - why not feel tired after all that energy

But my summation of this essay - whether we pray or not God does not take someone else's free will - they still have the free will to behave as they choose - and that's not your fault

,In my book - you are off the hook

Dec [hugs]

Thanks @Former-Member

I have done all of that and I am tired. I have been very careful when I have been praying for TS - something I do often - forgive her - what for - she can't help who she is and I don't hold resentments - but I am tired of her behaviour because a lot of it happens behind my back

And yes - I know God knows she lies - but the other people in our lives maybe don't know that

And her lies have caused so much collateral damage - how much pain and sorrow she has caused other people

I can forgive what she has done to me easily - but what she did to our parents and our kids with her lies - dunno what to do about that

Yes - I think this is the truth - we have lost a child each and a sister each - and our sisters are still alive and there is still time - but there is only so much time left -

Thanks

Dec

This is a pic of my wonderful son driving off in his new car. Gosh so excited I can put photos up now

Can't wait for it to come through @Former-Member. How are you?

I learned a new trick today too. How to access apple emoticons on my computer 💜💜💜🤗😘

emoji and emoticon same thing @Former-Member these...😀💜