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Sleeping too much
8691 replies
In response to: Sleeping too much
Unknown userMember
Re: Sleeping too much
@Former-Member
you might be on to something
might test it on 16/1
In response to: Sleeping too much
Unknown userMember
Re: Sleeping too much
hello @Decadian
i have just read your latest post.
i have not read all of your threads.
so in my response i apologise in advance if i step on yours or anyone else's toes.
ah you are all thinking .....oh no not again ..............not more pages and pages of boredom!!!
well actually promise not too many pages
just a thought......
have to say .... yes i have digressed,..... no i have not started response that i started this piece to talk about yet. Reason.... have just had another brain tweak
i am a twin and my relationship with my sister from as far back as is possible for a child to remember, has been one of trying to understand how she ticks. we are like ying and yang.
so where i am going with this is as a result we have an extremely strong bond... mostly twin stuff... ..partly sister stuff . however we cannot be in each other's company for too long without eruptions.
i have come to recognise the bubbling before the eruption.
we have learnt to dance around each other most of the time.
i now accept that she is who she is and i am who i am. both very different.
the extremely strong bond is the tricky bit because it sends old messages that we should be able to be very open with each other. this does occur on both parts more often now. we have also both learnt to listen even though we are itching to advise.
she sees black and white i see many colours. she told me the other day that oh my gosh my son analyses everything to the nth degree he goes on and on and on. he cant do anything without over analysing it. "hmm yes i understand, he is deep, i get that". she doesnt.
you and your sister love each other. you say dislike. perhaps it is more that she irritates you. if you were to look at it from that perspective would you like her a bit more and the struggle between you lessen?
would that ease your load slightly? have a domino effect and ease your own health issues just a little?
just a little bit of relief here and there can make a mountain of difference.
just a thought ....... yes a long one....yawn...yawn
perhaps this does not apply at all
sorry it took so long to explain. then again this is me. this is who i am.
In response to: Sleeping too much
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Re: Sleeping too much
Was thinking @Former-Member .... if anyone else comments on your scars, can you refer to them as stretch-marks ? They are in a sense because they are part of your growth history .... but it also makes them none of anyone else's business, cos even if they suspect where they came from, they have to overstep good manners to enquirer any further about them, at which point you can simply repeat that they are stretch-marks.
Just a thought anyway ....
❤️💕
Just a thought anyway ....
❤️💕
In response to: Sleeping too much
Unknown userMember
Re: Sleeping too much
@Decadian, guess with your TS, what your forgiving is the hurt she has caused you. When you pray asking God to bless her, really bless her, it will come to you. Forgiveness is about setting you free more than anything to do with them. Try it with your mum too. Dr Phil once reminded me that loss is not the end of a relationship, it becomes a spiritual relationship. God sees all.
"don't throw your pearls among swine to be trodden under foot" that's a good one, I can just imagine a treasure unappreciated in the mud under hoof in a pig pen. Best save your energy. But having your heart right is between you and God not them. Someone once described it "holding onto resentment is like taking poison and waiting for someone else to die" We gotta get the log out of our own eye, the poison of unforgiving anger from hurt. I too know it well. TD Jakes says "take them off the hook and put them on Gods" This really helped me.
Yes my Sister is stubborn. I have tried everything to make amends but took me a while to realise her lack of responding really hurt - I was hurting myself in the trying so I stopped. She sent a card thisChristmas & answered a couple of tx msgs but its how she wants it - I respect that. She doesn't irritate me in the doing or saying for she is an introvert says little and DOES nothing obviously wrong. That's how passive aggressive manipulators are. She thinks I hate her so I've heard through the grapevine but that's just guilt I reason because its do far from the truth. We were never close. She was 11 when I left home. I am almost complete in my 'forgiveness' with here, and I know God is working on her too, and her rich hubby, I'd rather not ever see her again than put up with dirty looks or shunning at funerals etc. God needs to build my strength for that. I'd be a mess sitting alone again. Anyway, it is what is is and just because were sisters doesn't mean we have to like each other.
You sound stronger than me.
Thanks for discussion g this though. We have this in common too. Loss of a child and the Emotional loss of a sister.
Stay strong Dec, hugz xox
"don't throw your pearls among swine to be trodden under foot" that's a good one, I can just imagine a treasure unappreciated in the mud under hoof in a pig pen. Best save your energy. But having your heart right is between you and God not them. Someone once described it "holding onto resentment is like taking poison and waiting for someone else to die" We gotta get the log out of our own eye, the poison of unforgiving anger from hurt. I too know it well. TD Jakes says "take them off the hook and put them on Gods" This really helped me.
Yes my Sister is stubborn. I have tried everything to make amends but took me a while to realise her lack of responding really hurt - I was hurting myself in the trying so I stopped. She sent a card thisChristmas & answered a couple of tx msgs but its how she wants it - I respect that. She doesn't irritate me in the doing or saying for she is an introvert says little and DOES nothing obviously wrong. That's how passive aggressive manipulators are. She thinks I hate her so I've heard through the grapevine but that's just guilt I reason because its do far from the truth. We were never close. She was 11 when I left home. I am almost complete in my 'forgiveness' with here, and I know God is working on her too, and her rich hubby, I'd rather not ever see her again than put up with dirty looks or shunning at funerals etc. God needs to build my strength for that. I'd be a mess sitting alone again. Anyway, it is what is is and just because were sisters doesn't mean we have to like each other.
You sound stronger than me.
Thanks for discussion g this though. We have this in common too. Loss of a child and the Emotional loss of a sister.
Stay strong Dec, hugz xox
In response to: Sleeping too much
Unknown userMember
Re: Sleeping too much
"STRETCH MARKS" that's brilliant @Faith-and-Hope, why didn't o think of that. And its not really lyong , just diverting to the psychological (in my mind), most definitely a hulk experience in bring oversttratched in growing. Yep, from this day forth they are 'stretch marks' and 'none of their business. I have in the past said "an accident a long time ago I'd rather not discuss" While having an ECG recently the nurse at the medical centre recently pointed to my scarz and said "naughty girl!" My response was "yep, young silly days"
Anyway, its not easy.
Anyway, its not easy.
In response to: Sleeping too much
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Re: Sleeping too much
"Young, silly days" was an excellent "mind your own business" response too @Former-Member .... well fielded !!
❤️
❤️
In response to: Sleeping too much
Unknown userMember
Re: Sleeping too much
Thanks F&H
In response to: Sleeping too much
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Re: Sleeping too much
@Former-Member
😘 ......., ❤️💋
😘 ......., ❤️💋
In response to: Sleeping too much
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Re: Sleeping too much
@Former-Member
I had grown to hate my MIL during our early strife without even realising it had happened .... it's against my principles to hate anyone, so I was shocked to find it had crept up on me. A hallmark of that was being unable to pray for her .....
I went to a counsellor and talked about my marriage break-down situation and how warped the relationships were within my in-law family, and how emotionally abusive they were. Counsellor asked me to describe WH .... I began listing his qualities and his general behavioural responses .... counsellor left off with him and asked me to describe my MIL .... well ..., !! I had nothing at all vaguely nice to say about her other than that she was generous with expensive gifts, although in hindsight I could see that even that was being weirded as a w#apon .... the vitriol that poured forth form me showed the counsellor they had hit pay-dirt .....
Here was the lesson ..... anger leads to bitterness .... bitterness leads to hatred ....
How to undo it ? I had to learn to call a spade a spade .... I thought I was too nice a person to express what I needed to express about how MIL was behaving .... and that was what it boiled down to .... really, really bad behaviour that was abusive and damaging. I learned to express my suppressed rage towards her with the counsellor and some Bible study friends .... in fact one out her arms around me and spoke for me .... calling MIL every poisonous thing under the sun .... I started giggling when she referred to her as a 1st class bi+ch .... thinking that I couldn't talk like that .... but the giggling quickly changed to tears and I cried my heart out over the way I had been treated ....
After that I had no trouble at all using the B word when it was appropriate to the behaviour and began dealing with anger-causing behaviour in the moment .... this was s out more than doing the "nice Christsn thing" .... this was about integrity, which is the real crux of any faith .....
Pendulum over-swung for s while there .... I became pretty volcanic .... lol .... earned a different name for myself .... but the oendulum settles to the middle ground eventually and I am s lot older and wiser now. That road provided me new tools through its experiences .... ones I need for the road I am on now .....
Y'see @Former-Member @Decadian .... I am another writer of essays .... lol ....
Hugs everyone 💜❣
I had grown to hate my MIL during our early strife without even realising it had happened .... it's against my principles to hate anyone, so I was shocked to find it had crept up on me. A hallmark of that was being unable to pray for her .....
I went to a counsellor and talked about my marriage break-down situation and how warped the relationships were within my in-law family, and how emotionally abusive they were. Counsellor asked me to describe WH .... I began listing his qualities and his general behavioural responses .... counsellor left off with him and asked me to describe my MIL .... well ..., !! I had nothing at all vaguely nice to say about her other than that she was generous with expensive gifts, although in hindsight I could see that even that was being weirded as a w#apon .... the vitriol that poured forth form me showed the counsellor they had hit pay-dirt .....
Here was the lesson ..... anger leads to bitterness .... bitterness leads to hatred ....
How to undo it ? I had to learn to call a spade a spade .... I thought I was too nice a person to express what I needed to express about how MIL was behaving .... and that was what it boiled down to .... really, really bad behaviour that was abusive and damaging. I learned to express my suppressed rage towards her with the counsellor and some Bible study friends .... in fact one out her arms around me and spoke for me .... calling MIL every poisonous thing under the sun .... I started giggling when she referred to her as a 1st class bi+ch .... thinking that I couldn't talk like that .... but the giggling quickly changed to tears and I cried my heart out over the way I had been treated ....
After that I had no trouble at all using the B word when it was appropriate to the behaviour and began dealing with anger-causing behaviour in the moment .... this was s out more than doing the "nice Christsn thing" .... this was about integrity, which is the real crux of any faith .....
Pendulum over-swung for s while there .... I became pretty volcanic .... lol .... earned a different name for myself .... but the oendulum settles to the middle ground eventually and I am s lot older and wiser now. That road provided me new tools through its experiences .... ones I need for the road I am on now .....
Y'see @Former-Member @Decadian .... I am another writer of essays .... lol ....
Hugs everyone 💜❣
In response to: Sleeping too much
Unknown userMember
Re: Sleeping too much
Faith-andhope, integrity, getting 'real' - setting healthy boundaries... I get it. Still not good at being blunt when needed, but guess it would help stop the buildup of resentment if we didn't always push it down. Prayer sure throws light on a lot of our internal blocks.
