Sleeping too much

Hi @Former-Member

I think @Former-Member @Appleblossom and @Faith-and-Hope are right with their wise words about your son. As I mentioned by email, if you feel you need more support right now, there are places you can call for a chat. Lifeline and the Samaritans are both available 24/7.

Thank you for letting us know you're safe - a favourite DVD and a good sleep sounds like a great idea. Take care and please keep chatting here on the Forums if it's helpful.

and keep sending love in your direction as sometimes it take a long bloody while for them to get it.

I tried really hard to reach out and swallow all the anger and rudeness from my daughter for 15 years. Drove across town when I should not have been in the car. Sometimes, it isnt through lack of trying. He has a lot to process cos of his uncles too. Like my daughter. its really hard when it is so widespread in the family. But it is not you alone.

That 80 year old is in denial and hides the suicides in her family from the writing group ... giving superficial rationalisations and motivations for things in her books' character and plots .. eg ... they are just guilty and weak and cant face up to life ... so we are no longer friends .. .just acquaintances .. she is entitled to her defences and I am entitled to my truths. I have found ways to keep the relationship on an authentic footing ... we dont have to swallow BS.

It is not wrong to give self care .. but I still struggle with it too.

I also understand the problem of being "the problem person." That has happened to me too. So in response I started to keep verbalising my successes, it may have made me seem a bit boasty but I had to do it otherwise I would crash. No-one wants to be a problem .. but there are problems to get through in life. Only the deluded think otherwise.

@Former-Member

Aw - I just found your post about your dream - and all the Post Tramatic Stress Crap that has come with it

I wasn't there when my son died - but I still have bad moments about the event that took place - and no - it's not the same - but oh sh t - I have so much feeling for you - I do unserstand

It is really tough - this I understand - this I know - and there isn't anything I can say - this I also know

But I understand - yes - I do

Decadian

Hi @Former-Member

I don't really know what to write except that I feel so much for you. Sending you love, strength and peace.

Pls take care xxxooo

Thanks again @Former-Member

I watched my mother be "the problem" fo 40 years in her family and she did work hard to turn it around ... but

unfotunately it was at my expense ... so I became the "new problem" ... after my dad, my sister or my brother was the problem

I deal with closemindedness like that at my church and have come to the understanding that it is partly ignorance. Slowly started putting up little challenges (in last 5 years) .. but hey .. you guys are living in sin ... or you guys havent had kids .. or .. you have never experienced bereavement .. there are lots of ors ... I sent emails to authorities from reputable net address .. I had been talking for years about our strengths and weaknesses ... and that we all have them .. there will usually be inadequacies on the other person's experience if they are immature or a bit bigoted.

Mostly if I am careful the relationships have remained positive

... I see the humour and work in the guy who puts up the stands

... or know that the musical excellence wouldnt be there if one had kids to worry about

... there are 2 people who moved on partly because of me .. but they were very self righteous, shamng, and vehement .. and directly clashing .. bumping into me as I was returning my music etc ..so I leave for a while and return again .. as the media has borne out a lot of my issues in last couple of years .. the attitude of most of them is a lot better now .. but I still need to go slow as I am damaged ..

3 years ago I overheard a friend(another piano teacher) stick up for me at church .. she didnt want me to leave ... It was the first time I had heard someone say genuine good things about me .. I was bowled over .. the next place I heard that was here on the forum ..

Some churches are getting desperate to seem to be good guys and not sinners ... but we have all made mistakes in our lives .. at some level ..

Groups are notoriously difficult to survive in .. sometimes it is worth it ..only you can tell