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Sleeping too much
8691 replies
In response to: Sleeping too much
Unknown userMember
Re: Sleeping too much
Sorry, @Faith-and-Hope, that didn't come out right I'm not angry at you. Just messed up today, not with it at all. Trying to let love guide me. Hope today goes well for you. Must be hard having your art critiqued.💜
In response to: Sleeping too much
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Re: Sleeping too much
Not at all @TAWNWY - not pressure from you ...., just under the pump from whatever pressures are in his life at the moment on his own home front .......
I don't know your son to be able to put his response into context. If one of my kids responded that way, I would know they were exaggerating as a joke, meaning "I can't see past my workload / study load / home commitments to a point where I would be free to come and visit ....,"
That's all I thought it meant, just taking it on face value ......
Maybe you know him differently and I have misunderstood ......
Sending you big hugs, and I hope it just means he's too busy to scratch himself at the moment.
❤
I don't know your son to be able to put his response into context. If one of my kids responded that way, I would know they were exaggerating as a joke, meaning "I can't see past my workload / study load / home commitments to a point where I would be free to come and visit ....,"
That's all I thought it meant, just taking it on face value ......
Maybe you know him differently and I have misunderstood ......
Sending you big hugs, and I hope it just means he's too busy to scratch himself at the moment.
❤
In response to: Sleeping too much
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Re: Sleeping too much
@Former-Member
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In response to: Sleeping too much
Unknown userMember
Re: Sleeping too much
Thanks, don't expect visits anymore, but phone call every week or two, & answering tx messages the same day would be nice. Times like this i wish his dad was useful.
In response to: Sleeping too much
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Re: Sleeping too much
💌 ...... 💐
In response to: Sleeping too much
Unknown userMember
Re: Sleeping too much
Hi @Former-Member I can understand how you might be feeling upset about it. I probably would have the same reaction. I think from an outsider it's too hard to know what he's thinking or what's going on for him. I guess though that whilst you don't know maybe it's a worry you can try and put away for now. ( this is definately the pot calling the kettle black). I guess if it were me I'd be thinking about how I could communicate with him to know that you still want a relationship with him. Maybe you want a phone call once a ???. It's worth asking. If he doesn't know he won't think about it if he's anything like my boys. The only time they ring is if they want something. But know if I call family tea they all come. Maybe writing it in a letter you could email him or something might be good. Then you can mull over it and take some of the emotion out for a bit. I abandoned one of my sons unknowingly when I was unwell. He was 16 at the time and I left him with his step dad because he worked near there. I was trying so hard to start again and get well (after coming out of hospital) that I forgot to ring him. He ran away from his step father and ended up living with his best mates family, he still lives there. I had to work hard to get our relationship back on track. It's good now. I think after our boys see us change so much they internalise a bit too and won't talk about it. I'm not saying this is the case but thought I'd share to say hopefully you can iron out any misunderstandings. Thinking of you. Sending hugs 😊💜
In response to: Sleeping too much
Unknown userMember
Re: Sleeping too much
Thanks @Former-Member, its impossible, I've tried for years, he's so different to me, so angry about his sister, his dad, our family history.... Think he's still cutting the apron strings and maybe angry I tried to leave the planet, when his sister died. Its just all such a big mess, i'm not good for him or anybody. Why am i still here? Can't do this today. Sorry.
In response to: Sleeping too much
Unknown userMember
Re: Sleeping too much
You're here because there is still good for you to come @Former-Member. I'm sorry I didn't know the past with your family. My kids were present when I had to be taken unconscious out the bedroom window by the ambos on one attempt. Have no idea what I was thinking to put my kids through it. I hope that one day your son will look behind everything to see the hurt that everyone experienced , not just what happened to him. You need to be here for when he works it out. I can't totally understand how you feel but I feel for your losses. It hasn't been fair and in fact cruel but you have found a way through this. You have taught me so much here. I hope you can find a way to self soothe kindly this afternoon. 😊💜
In response to: Re: Sleeping too much
AppleblossomSenior Contributor
Re: Sleeping too much
@Former-Member You have had so much to deal with. I really felt for you with your nightmare flashback. I have little shrines for my loved ones too. I loved your poem .. it actually brought you back to present time .. this is what narrative therapy is about.
It is great you were able to reach out and express it reasonably close to the time that it actually happened. As mums we often learn to carry and carry and carry on. NO wonder it bubbles over.
For some weird reason I started looking at coroners reports online yesterday. Violent and sudden deaths are always a lot harder to get over. Though she died on your watch it WAS NOT YOUR ACTIONS. So you had the triple whammy of witnessing a violent death, losing a loved one and being her mother who tried to be responsible. All teen mother relations are fraught and your menopause may have had nothing to do with it. She had her hormones throwing her around too. Please stop blaming yourself for it. You have suffered enough. In our "peaceful" society we forget that such things happen, but ... they do.
Re your sons text. My daughter .. our last lunch together she cut short by 15 mins as she had to meet a head honcho judge. it took me longer to get there than we had time together ... just as well I was very early and had time to relax under a tree in the park. She has cut me out of her life, but last night my son was telling me that he didnt think she was right to be so dismissive of me.
You matter to me as your sharing of grief has helped lighten my load, made me feel less alone. If you hadnt had all those things happen it would never have meant the same thing to me to read your posts.
I can also relate to him as I lost siblings. He is still young and YOU can be proud, but hold it in your heart. He is only just starting to "play" at being grown up. I think you really are grown up. There is an 80 year old in my writing group who still sounds like a teenager.
In response to: Re: Sleeping too much
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Re: Sleeping too much
@Former-Member
I think @Former-Member is right ...... your son is still working it out.
I think @Appleblossom right ....... you have it worked out.
Keep sending love in his direction as much as you can, and wait for him to catch up.
❤️
