Sleeping too much

Hello @PurpleFlowers

it is great to see you xx

how are you today ? remember you are not alone my friend and we are here for you xx

Hello @Former-Member, @Former-Member

Hey @Former-Member,

how are you going? Have you managed pamper Saturday? I'm still in thursdays clothes, not changed since then and slept in them. I think my favourite top is now stretched beyond recognition. I hope you are ok. I'm so sorry I fell off last night. You picked part of it for me. Angry child, vulnerable child and impulsive child all hijacked Teej. I was not in a place to post anything that was appropriate so I had to leave but I read your messages before I went to sleep. Dont you hate it when we feel like we've been hit by a truck?

Let me know how you are today, hugs 💜🤗💐

Thankyou for the xox @Former-Member

how are you today ??

travelled 2 hours down and 2 hours back to have lunch with MIL, 2 SIL`s a niece and her 4 children -- won`t see them for christmas

very tired now xx

I know things have been tough for you since before the anniversary @Former-Member. You are doing well holding on. Maybe tomorrow we promise that we'll clean up a bit and get that self care going again. I haven't taken medication for a few days and not eaten either so Im hoping there is only one way from here and it's up. Take good care of you @Former-Member 💜🤗💐

Hi @PurpleFlowers

I am glad you joined in this convo - oh boy

You are right - atm you have decent housing and if you change a stable part of your circumstances you might go under - the chances are stronger

You are already helping your mother with a lot - and you have your own issues to deal with. And if your mother has a drinking problem - that gets into a whole other area of enabling you probably already know to keep out of - and Tough Love is a hard is just that Tough Love

There is so much grief and guilt around aging parents - my mother suffered guilt totally out of proportion when she had to put our grandmother into a nursing home - and when Dad was dying in a nursing home she forgot who I was and told me how guilty she felt - and I told her - "I was there - you did more than most people would try to - you don't have to feel guilty" - but she did

But my parents abandoned me when I went through many dark years with my alcoholic and MI son - they choses that path and I know from what both of them told me before they died that they suffered terribly from their wrong decision -

And my mother was really nasty to me when I visited her in care - I was not inclined to go back for more - and hearing her snarl at me to "get outa here" I gave her what she wanted and didn't go back

No - I don't feel guilty and I don't have regrets - but for a long time my sorrow about the regrets my parents had hurt like mad - but we can't carry that around all our lives

What I do have though is the grief - my father got over what it was that was not the truth about the past that caused so much pain - but never my mother - I miss my Dad - but it's okay - he was ready to die and left easily - Mum though - kept up all the snaky behaviour when Dad was no longer there to stop her - and I can forgive but forget - never

So - I think - whatever we do - or do not do - we really have to put our own well-being first - because it is unlikely that they will ever care about us

Ah - we should never run ourselves into the ground for other people - help when it is useful help - but not out of guilt -

This is such a hard subject - how did I get to a point of sense - I was pushed away too much I expect - I was used to being pushed away as a small child - that was what I expected and that was what I refused to accept

But yes - we do need a separate thread for this one - so many people are hurting from this one - is it more right now?

Decadian