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Sleeping too much
8691 replies
In response to: Sleeping too much
TABSenior Contributor
Re: Sleeping too much
Run it past faith and hope when she wakes up maybe.😀
In response to: Sleeping too much
Unknown userMember
Re: Sleeping too much
Yes, me too, re: wanting to be there for mum, but, same here, end up with no strength to stand. It really "mucks me up".
I spent most of my life trying to help, "fix" my family, to the point where I had no life of my own. I was silently suffering inside with PTSD and the rest and used all my energy trying to hold them all up. All it did was crush me. I didn't wake up to it until I was in my late 30's, still trying to work it out. None of them like the fact that I can't rescue them anymore.
When I finally tried to call out for help by saying, hey! wait a minute, you know I was raped etc....................
The focus was on me for approx one afternoon, then it was back onto everyone elses petty problems. And stupid me went back into the "trying to hold everyone else mode". Wow! I'm glad I'm not that person anymore, it's too hard. It was very hard to change, I am still trying to change.
Mum still tries to "suck" me into it all again, but "no way".
It is very sad to see mum struggle with it all, but there is no point of me going more down hill into problems that I have no power to solve. If I could solve them, that would be great, but I tried and I can't. People can only change themselves. I can't stop her from stressing about everything. There is no point in stressing over things we can't change.
I just dropped my girl off at the beach with her 2 friends. Lovely down there. She finished her school year lat week.
Hubby is ok, thanks. He usually works long hours, but has today off. Lots to do around the house. Never ending renovations, lol. We try to do them ourselves to save money. I'm just having a late lunch.
How are you feeling now? xoxoxo
In response to: Sleeping too much
Shaz51Senior Contributor
Re: Sleeping too much
Hi @Former-Member 
my dad mentally abused me when i was growing up , mum was sick from the way dad treated me and her until i was 12 and we went away
I am sure he blamed me for the breakup , me , I kept trying to give him chances after chances , when i was 17 i went to visit him and he hit me and pushed me against the wall
whenever i went down town and saw him, he would run into the nearest shop to hide , very hurtful , I had soo many emotions swimming inside of me , so many questions Why !! took me a long time
In response to: Sleeping too much
Unknown userMember
Re: Sleeping too much
Thanks @Former-Member, I think we have mum clones lol & Similar family dynamics. Are you the eldest girl? Sorry if I make you repeat stuff. Dispute all I did the last two weeks I spent with my parents (housework, driving, Dr visits...) mum still sicked dad onto me for making light of mums suffering. I thought I was being positive and helpful. I came back really sick with bronchitis after the house dust triggered a major asthma attack, and flu like symptoms. And I had my first full panic attack on the plane (so stressful and embarrassing). Want to go but just can"t, and like your mum in her late 80s, they could be gone any day now, forever. Its just all so complex. If I lived closer I could handle short day visits, but not this overnight or full weeks like I've done. I don't know. Major sense of powerlessness / hopelessness. ..
You sound like a food mum.
.
Gotta to close up, big storm coming xox
You sound like a food mum.
.
Gotta to close up, big storm coming xox
In response to: Sleeping too much
Unknown userMember
Re: Sleeping too much
Not good @Shaz51, your dad. sorry you went through that. He sounds likw ges pretty nessed up. Glad your mum escaped eventually. Are you OK today?
In response to: Re: Sleeping too much
Shaz51Senior Contributor
Re: Sleeping too much
Hi @Former-Member
even today I still think i could of done more , maybe or maybe not !!!
but he (dad ) is gone now , so will never know
In response to: Sleeping too much
Unknown userMember
Re: Sleeping too much
now that were grown ups l, would we for one min expect a child to fix the family problems we can't manage ourselves? No, I think children default to thinking that when they, we hurt, its because we've done something wrong (like were being punished) and have to put things wright, or made to feel that way. But its not possible on young shoulders. What more could you have done? You, we were a little girls!
In response to: Re: Sleeping too much
Unknown userMember
Re: Sleeping too much
Very similar @Former-Member I used to be ill from it all too.. Yes, I find it very difficult that mum could pass away anytime and I am not doing anything to help her. It is very hard to know what to do. It crushes me seeing her or talking to her and crushes me if I don't.
If she didn't talk about problems and family crapp it would be different, but it's the same story every time. I just can't do it anymore. I really hope that I will be strong enough to be there before she passes away.
Hubby is the same with his mum, so we don't have any family. Sounds sooky, lol. Not meaning to sound sooky.
I hope that it helps you chatting. If you feel like changing the subject, please say, thanks. xoxoxoxoxoxo
In response to: Sleeping too much
Unknown userMember
Re: Sleeping too much
@Former-Member, do you live closer so you can just do 20-30min visits? That's what I'd prefer.
In response to: Re: Sleeping too much
Unknown userMember
Re: Sleeping too much
I agree with @Former-Member, @Shaz51 You aren't responsible for you dad's behaviour and it is terrible the way he has treated you and your mum. I am so sorry to read that he treated you like that. It must be very hard for you that it was never sorted out, before your dad passed away, but you did all that you could. It was up to him, as a father to reach out to you. Sad for you that you never had an apology from him.
Big hugs to you Shaz xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
