Sleeping too much

Yeah ... ticking over nicely. Had to take D2 shopping for some new jeans today. She has lost weight, in a good way, and nothing was fitting her properly .... she's small, so she has fitted the same wardrobe for ten years ..... when I pack it's a good opportunity to sift through and pass on things that are not appropriate for her any more ....

We are drowning in deferred sorting - I'll put it that way - and I haven't the motivation or energy to climb on top of mount chaos at the moment ..... had burst water-pipe one year, then major hail-storm damage another year in our previous house .... along with crappy extensions that leaked .... then going away every school holidays for the last seven years under WH's "new mindset" means the crapola built up fast and overwhelming.

Felt good to get at least some of D2's room sorted today. Have filled a few charity bags. We have much more than we need. Gifts keep flooding in from rellies .... have to stem the flow a bit and pass forward to others.

Just resting up at the moment .... pyjama afternoon ... trying to get past this cold.

🌷💜

Hi @Former-Member, @Faith-and-Hope

great news re your son @Former-Member ringing and the conversation. Just dropping in for a bit. Pulled myself a bit together this afternoon and today wasn't as bad as yesterday thank goodness. Haven't cried much today, yay.

Good work sorting out D2s room @Faith-and-Hope. It must feel like an accomplishment.

That is sounding more positive @Former-Member .... 🤗

It's a part achievement really ..... been sorting drawers and wardrobe. There's more to do, but I have to take it in baby steps to get it done. She's a long time past being at school, but I can't bring myself to sort back through all her school stuff yet ..... I think so much has hapoened, for so long, in such quick succession, that I really can't face it all .... it's like an accumulative sort of trauma.

I have been conscious of it since we moved here. Part of it has been losing my organisational systems to the different dynamic of a new house .... illness and injury in D3 almost continually across the last four years .... WH dramas and the effects on the kids, including them having no energy or motivation to clean up or hold household systems in place. I just can't do it by myself, or keep up with the rate of mess-making around here. D2 and I are holding the fort, but only just.

While I wouldn't term it as "going on strike" exactly, I recognised that I just wasn't going to be able to manage everything, and chose a "critical path" to keeping the very basics of the household functioning while I waited for a change in circumstance. The hardest part has been copping flack from WH and the kids for becoming absent from my role, but I'm all out of patience and energy to try to explain it to anyone .... so I don't. Days like today feel good cos I am being me in a small corner here .... upholding something of how I would like things to be ... and leaning on faith and hope that piece by piece I will be able to put it all back together ....

@Former-Member @Former-Member ..... I haven't been through the same sort of trauma as either of you, but I gain courage in my situation hearing about yours .... it's like I have been through a divorce and am trying to pick up the pieces .... don't know if it makes sense to you. I hope it does.

🌷💜

I think t does @Faith-and-Hope

Ive been reading your posts and thinking,,,,,,not that you've been going through a divorce but along those lines.......

Please bear with me while I try and explain myself :

Apologies if I do not ring true to you.

But it has been feeling like you have been in shock. You have been working so hard to get through.....but it;s like too much has been expected of you.

.Im not very good at explaining all this.......

Do you have any sence of what I'm trying to write ?

where are you @Appleblossom and @utopia can someone help me ?

Please dont be angry.....Im sorry if I have it wrong.

PP

Aw @Faith-and-Hope

You really got dealt some hard cards - I had no idea D2 was faced with such a challenge - and glad she has some attitude

I know you had twins and another daughter about the same age - that would be a handful - and that one of the twins was in and out of hospital - but not with so many difficulties

I feel so lucky - dd was prem - a month - and her blood and mine were not compatible - and she was one of the first babies in Australia to have phototherapy - and this helped her overcome her early difficulties with her immature liver - but yes - they told us how she could be disabled - but apart from some aquired deafness in one ear she is fine. She is a miracle but never likes to hear about it.

She is precious - I feel so blessed with her - and she has a lot of attitude too

Please let us know how she is - it seems that she has been battling quitely while D3 has been struggling with her graduation - and of course there is WH and all his stuff

And what a lot of codes we have for our family members -

Hugs @Faith-and-Hope

Decadian

Hi @Decadian, I'm sorry for the late reply but I've been meaning to reply to your post about Christmas. I'm so sorry that it's not a bit easier with dd. It seems quite difficult in that she is there for you for many other occasions to help out but causes this glitch in the time of celebration and it must be very frustrating for you. I know my time will come. Yesterday S2 and gf worked out that they can't be in two places at once for lunch. There will be a time they chose but this year they are still happy to separate for lunch to be with family if need be. This is only going to get more complicated with other partners. I'm hoping dd comes to her senses for you. I'm glad your psychologist is helping you currently as well. Sending best wishes💜🤗

@PeppiPatty .... you're gorgeous .... I think you are more articulate than you realise.

Shock is the perfect word ❣

There has just been so much to contend with for so long that I have just established a critical path to keep things functioning on, and run raids .... in and out of my family situation .... it is a type of withdrawal, but I also know I am entitled to it .... my in-law family don't have a clear understanding of what is reasonable, and I have been operating beyond reasonable for too long .... operating out of contingency for many years, and I still am ....

Everything outside my critical path is just going to have to wait ....

❤️ @PeppiPatty 🤗

Last post for the night before I'm a good girl and try to stick to my sleep routine :face_with_rolling_eyes: @Faith-and-Hope I understand what you mean about the divorce part. It's almost like you've had two marriages but didn't get to grieve the ending of the first one. Your situation has been much longer than mine was. I really only had 6 months before mine was forced into diagnosis but then had the daunting task of trying to get to understand the unknown person in front of me. You are incredibly resilient with it. One day it will be light again for you and the heavy load will change. Thinking of you💜🤗

@Former-Member you are great at giving empathy out to @Decadian and @Faith-and-Hope

How are you ?

Here is a picture just for you @Former-Member

its my fave picture because I love the raindrop.......

PP