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Sleeping too much
8691 replies
In response to: Sleeping too much
Unknown userMember
Re: Sleeping too much
@Former-Member
Going from being in bed to doing activities 5 days a week sounds alot. I guess it depends what sort of activities. Does it involve going out? Being with people? If so, perhaps you're doing too much and it's wearing you out.
I know that for myself I wouldn't cope with going out for 5 activities a week.
Sounds alot to me. What do you think? Do you think it's too much?
I remember alcohol and meds making me feel much worse, but I do understand why you are drinking Teej. 💕 Don't condemn yourself for that. Just want you to be catreful. Definitely would be making you feel more depressed unfortunately. Bummer, hey? Feels good while having it, but not the next day unfortunately.
I wrecked my liver. Wouldn't be here if I didn't stop. Wanted to be here for daughter.
Liver is good now, can repair itself if.
Hugs Teej 😙💜
I'm going to have to try and sleep now.
Nighty night Teej.
Nighty night everyone.
Nice chatting. Thanks 😊😙💕
Going from being in bed to doing activities 5 days a week sounds alot. I guess it depends what sort of activities. Does it involve going out? Being with people? If so, perhaps you're doing too much and it's wearing you out.
I know that for myself I wouldn't cope with going out for 5 activities a week.
Sounds alot to me. What do you think? Do you think it's too much?
I remember alcohol and meds making me feel much worse, but I do understand why you are drinking Teej. 💕 Don't condemn yourself for that. Just want you to be catreful. Definitely would be making you feel more depressed unfortunately. Bummer, hey? Feels good while having it, but not the next day unfortunately.
I wrecked my liver. Wouldn't be here if I didn't stop. Wanted to be here for daughter.
Liver is good now, can repair itself if.
Hugs Teej 😙💜
I'm going to have to try and sleep now.
Nighty night Teej.
Nighty night everyone.
Nice chatting. Thanks 😊😙💕
In response to: Sleeping too much
Unknown userMember
Re: Sleeping too much
Hi @Faith-and-hope, I so appreciate the support here on the forums last night (Sat), that I've been extending myself to reply to everyone individually, so, my apologies taking this long getting back to you, my besty. 🙂
Really appreciated you pointing out a different perspective, you seem to have a much better grasp on the way our grown boys think.
To say "it's not actually about you" was good to hear because it FEELS like I've done something wrong, again.
They were hurtful (to leave me out),
Thanks for saying "that's not how you are" (deserving of this treatment)
- son not referencing what i expected of him
Thanks too for saying your "expectation would have been the same as yours" (I've always been told I'm unreasonable, over reactive etc), but you went on with detail "they are a couple, so you invite from both sides"
You're probably right that S1 got so tied up in it being about her that I didn't cross his mind.
Perhaps my ringing at that exact time was Gods way of dealing with him too, I think you right - "oh, :pile_of_poo: !" moment for him .... hand in the cookie jar... Yep. I think so, you describe it so well.
Not sure I was actually "saintly" in handling it but do appreciate you acknowledging the self sacrifice in biting my tongue & not upset his night (grrr lol), needed that
Not sure about making him proud. Starting to dislike the value system he's picked up from the defacto inlaws, but what can I say, they're good to him & he's in love.
Trying to see the logic in your thinking my S1 associates me with his "dysfunctional family" re mistaking the loss of your daughter with the same sort of :pile_of_poo: that comes from bro's who do drugs, and the emotional abusive of extended family & the x.
I really do hope S1 twigs that I am NOT my family.
Good point reminding me to keep distance there.
I'm so proud of my S1 rising above the familial dysfunction. I gave up a lot to protect him from that. He's unlikely to ever be aware, but God knows. Yes, @Teej is a gem, pointed out, i have been gently and carefully rebuilding, to keep close as possible with him ..... just keep swimming !!!
Thanks for saying i have class, not sure about that but agree that true class is found in the fact that I would have absolutely thrown out the warmth and welcoming mat to them. And yes, money doesn't equal class, and I'm hopeful S1 will work that out one day.
Yep, the b'nge on icecream was a hit in the moment, and the night air and beautiful night sky, with dog by my side 🙂
I'm getting there, thanks to you guys, actually quietly pleased I bounced back so quick this time. Even walked today & mowed the back lawn. 🐠🐠🐠❤️❣
9.05pm it was good to have you remind me to "cry .... grieve the moment"
I've been learning in therapy that running away from pain only puts it off till later (when the dam wall breaks & I go under with the debris of it all), so thanks for that tip in the moment (see, I do take it in, eventually)
And the big one, just love how you say "Walking with you .... We all are"
Hugs n hugs ....
❤️🌷💕❤️🌷💕❤️
I really do hope my S1 does one day acknowledge that i raised him to a 'better life'.than how I grew up, even without the money ❤️
5.50
Definitely a Big dropped ball by S1 Not about me hopefully. Maybe too, dDIL just might not like me, she can be pretty cold at times, he'd be caught in the middle, hard to know. I try
❤️💕
Hey, glad you liked my dream too, little blessing way there for sure. I'm praying for you, that your WH will eventually become the new "Wonderful Husband" and maybe you will dream it too, to boost your faith, and hope, another prayer request.
And what of you? Did the honeymooners turn up? re they happy? Was the house in order? You spoil them you know. Is toxic fat reaction a bit less? Have you lost weight recently? And Chrissy Shopping already, getting in early re trip. Being a shift worker most my working life, the Only time I ever enjoyed Christmas was before Santa became a myth and when my children lived at home.
But its fine for big 'real' families like yours, a d I'm privileged to walk how it should be here with you (though I do get that WH makes it hard at times). Will you have a White Christmas this year? Being the northern hemisphere and all? White Chrissy is on my bucket list.
Anyway, this is too long sorry. Just wanted to make sure you know I appreciated your help getting mW through another difficult episode last night (Sat), thank you xox
Really appreciated you pointing out a different perspective, you seem to have a much better grasp on the way our grown boys think.
To say "it's not actually about you" was good to hear because it FEELS like I've done something wrong, again.
They were hurtful (to leave me out),
Thanks for saying "that's not how you are" (deserving of this treatment)
- son not referencing what i expected of him
Thanks too for saying your "expectation would have been the same as yours" (I've always been told I'm unreasonable, over reactive etc), but you went on with detail "they are a couple, so you invite from both sides"
You're probably right that S1 got so tied up in it being about her that I didn't cross his mind.
Perhaps my ringing at that exact time was Gods way of dealing with him too, I think you right - "oh, :pile_of_poo: !" moment for him .... hand in the cookie jar... Yep. I think so, you describe it so well.
Not sure I was actually "saintly" in handling it but do appreciate you acknowledging the self sacrifice in biting my tongue & not upset his night (grrr lol), needed that
Not sure about making him proud. Starting to dislike the value system he's picked up from the defacto inlaws, but what can I say, they're good to him & he's in love.
Trying to see the logic in your thinking my S1 associates me with his "dysfunctional family" re mistaking the loss of your daughter with the same sort of :pile_of_poo: that comes from bro's who do drugs, and the emotional abusive of extended family & the x.
I really do hope S1 twigs that I am NOT my family.
Good point reminding me to keep distance there.
I'm so proud of my S1 rising above the familial dysfunction. I gave up a lot to protect him from that. He's unlikely to ever be aware, but God knows. Yes, @Teej is a gem, pointed out, i have been gently and carefully rebuilding, to keep close as possible with him ..... just keep swimming !!!
Thanks for saying i have class, not sure about that but agree that true class is found in the fact that I would have absolutely thrown out the warmth and welcoming mat to them. And yes, money doesn't equal class, and I'm hopeful S1 will work that out one day.
Yep, the b'nge on icecream was a hit in the moment, and the night air and beautiful night sky, with dog by my side 🙂
I'm getting there, thanks to you guys, actually quietly pleased I bounced back so quick this time. Even walked today & mowed the back lawn. 🐠🐠🐠❤️❣
9.05pm it was good to have you remind me to "cry .... grieve the moment"
I've been learning in therapy that running away from pain only puts it off till later (when the dam wall breaks & I go under with the debris of it all), so thanks for that tip in the moment (see, I do take it in, eventually)
And the big one, just love how you say "Walking with you .... We all are"
Hugs n hugs ....
❤️🌷💕❤️🌷💕❤️
I really do hope my S1 does one day acknowledge that i raised him to a 'better life'.than how I grew up, even without the money ❤️
5.50
Definitely a Big dropped ball by S1 Not about me hopefully. Maybe too, dDIL just might not like me, she can be pretty cold at times, he'd be caught in the middle, hard to know. I try
❤️💕
Hey, glad you liked my dream too, little blessing way there for sure. I'm praying for you, that your WH will eventually become the new "Wonderful Husband" and maybe you will dream it too, to boost your faith, and hope, another prayer request.
And what of you? Did the honeymooners turn up? re they happy? Was the house in order? You spoil them you know. Is toxic fat reaction a bit less? Have you lost weight recently? And Chrissy Shopping already, getting in early re trip. Being a shift worker most my working life, the Only time I ever enjoyed Christmas was before Santa became a myth and when my children lived at home.
But its fine for big 'real' families like yours, a d I'm privileged to walk how it should be here with you (though I do get that WH makes it hard at times). Will you have a White Christmas this year? Being the northern hemisphere and all? White Chrissy is on my bucket list.
Anyway, this is too long sorry. Just wanted to make sure you know I appreciated your help getting mW through another difficult episode last night (Sat), thank you xox
In response to: Sleeping too much
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Re: Sleeping too much
@Former-Member
Does structure help ?
You're not taking S4 to the school bus / to school at the same time every day, and picking him up. That task was a "have-to" and that is one piece of scaffolding that is now missing from your day. Can you replace both with a 20min walk, at "school time" morning and afternoon ? Work out a path, maybe one for the morning and one for the afternoon, and make them your "walking school bus" and make it a "have-to".
If you are being resistant to the walk, then it has to be replaced by playing ball with your dog.
The walk time can be halved if you walk the dog.
Can you set yourself a breakfast time, lunch time, and dinner time - an hour's span each - and make them a "have-to" as well.
Add in three pieces of housework - large or minuscule, doesn't matter - and something from the shower menu below:
1. Full shower
2. Soap up and rinse off critical bits
3. Sponge bath
4. Spray of deodorant and change undies
There is enough flexibility there that if you're feeling oppositional you can make a deal with yourself, but something has to be ticked, whether it's the assigned task or a substitute.
And ticking it off is important to log your accountability, which becomes a progress log .....
If you haven't tried this, could you ? The structure may take up the role of self-medication .... it will likely help balance body chemistry, provide a routine that becomes dependable for your mind and body, and help you to sleep - and it leaves fewer hours in the day for your mind to get up to mischief.
What do you think ?
💜🌷
In response to: Sleeping too much
Unknown userMember
Re: Sleeping too much
@Faith-and-Hope, see above, 1.16AM, didn't tag properly 🙂
In response to: Sleeping too much
Unknown userMember
Re: Sleeping too much
Hi @Former-Member, you OK? Just came back on, trying to catch up on posts. Thinking of you, big hugzzzzzzz xox
In response to: Sleeping too much
Unknown userMember
Re: Sleeping too much
All is quiet. 😊
I'm having trouble getting to sleep. Probably shouldn't have talked about all my "stuff" just before bedtime. Too many memories coming up.
Had to take sleep med.
Hoping tomorrow, well, I mean today, will be better. This weekend was the worst in ages, unfortunately. I'm glad it's over.
I feel for everyone who struggles with depression etc. It's hard.
Let's hope for better days ahead. 💕💜
I'm having trouble getting to sleep. Probably shouldn't have talked about all my "stuff" just before bedtime. Too many memories coming up.
Had to take sleep med.
Hoping tomorrow, well, I mean today, will be better. This weekend was the worst in ages, unfortunately. I'm glad it's over.
I feel for everyone who struggles with depression etc. It's hard.
Let's hope for better days ahead. 💕💜
In response to: Re: Sleeping too much
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Re: Sleeping too much
Dozing off here @Former-Member ....
Catch up with you tomorrow.
❤️
In response to: Sleeping too much
Unknown userMember
Re: Sleeping too much
Hi @Former-Member, its not good that you can't be honest with your counsellor. She sounds pretty tough. Some do get caught up in Goal focus rather than processes. Can you space out your visits maybe? Can you tell her you need to slow down, especially to get through the 'silly' season? Be your own best friend as self advocate with her too. I agree with Frog that this may not be you, she may have other pressing problems she has forgot to separate from her counselling role. Also, how does she define progress? Do you have a tick chart? If you're going out 5daus a week - you're doing pretty good, although I hear your thinking its not sustainable. Be true to yourself. Cut back if you have to but don't stand still.
When you flop out for a day, pick up the next day. The best you can, true to you. You are enough. xox
When you flop out for a day, pick up the next day. The best you can, true to you. You are enough. xox
In response to: Sleeping too much
DecadianSenior Contributor
Re: Sleeping too much
Hi @Former-Member
I had an interesting time after I saw TS and the wonderful sight of her glaring at me at the funeral - and I was shaken but realising that she did that in public gave me insight - I have no idea of what she acts as she does - but she does and for all people asking me why I will never know. I am sure she doesn't know herself
But along with the realisation that I have had help from both my uncles about this issue and my mother - I think the older members of the family have an idea of what she is like - and her own family must get tired of hearing about it - but among my emotions was grief - she has gone too far. I don't think I can extend myself into being a pleasant person around her any more - she will have to come to me and behave herself - and explain herself if she can.
My door is never closed to her but her behaviour is unacceptable. I get along with nearly everyone - why not TS? Good question. Where is the answer?
I may never find out
Seeing my new psychologist is interesting - she is more relaxed than the one I used to see. I asked her why we should not speak ill of the dead - thinking that of course they might hear us - but my psychologist gave me a different reason - the dead cannot defend themselves. Ouch - that bit - I wish I had someone to defend me against what my mother did when I was just a small child. I am given to reflection and I came up with "Yes - the dead cannot defend themselves - and the dead cannot be tried in court - but that does not mean what they did was wrong"
So I feel better and I am looking forward to seeing my psychologist again - I think that's tomorrow - and I hope I am near the end of this journey - I am so tired of it. It's taking me a long time to work my way out of my own tangled past - I have no desire to stay lost
Decadian
In response to: Sleeping too much
DecadianSenior Contributor
Re: Sleeping too much
Hi @Former-Member
It is really hard to deal with some church people - it does turn people off
One the last day Christ will sort out the sheep from the goats - and both of these are worthy animals - and so I doubt whether anyone on earth can say if people will be 'saved' because they go to church or not. No one can tell who the Christians are - and also on the last day - what has been done in private will be shown to everyone - and this includes good deeds as well as bad - in imo no one can tell me about a good deed and what defines it. I am sure it comes from the heart - and what ever a person does has to have a feeling of good intention behind it
Something as simple as a glass of cold water to a thirsty person on a hot day is a good deed - but we don't score points with that -
I used to go to church a lot - like you I was involved in all sorts of issues - but when I moved to this unit I have a half hour walk but this is easy - getting up for Communion at 9.00 am is too early for my spine - it takes time for my medication to work - and so it is a long time since I have been to a regular service.
Something inside me says that all the activities at a church are fine - but only having Holy Communion once at week at 9.00am is not going to fit everyone - and we have a new priest coming to our church soon and I hope there is a service through the week at a suitable time -
However - our failure to be healed is not due to our lack or prayer or the strength of our faith - it's a harder thing to understand than all of that. What do people really believe? What do they really know.
I could really go on - but I am not an evangelist. God alone knows us - who we are and what we do and why. It is not up to the people in the churches to say that and it drives people away
We need our own church with the guidance of people with a knowledge of the Gospels. The Biuble is a truly wonderful book to read - and no one makes anyone read it so I am often puzzled as to why people get so angry.
But it does help us to understand many thing - and I am so sorry you have been hurt so badly because you stopped going to church. I am sure it was such misunderstanding or your life that stopped you from going - and this should not be the case - but I have had such things said to me too -
And I feel so lonely without church - I have been driven away from two churches in this area and will not go back - the one I am still in touch with is okay - but I still find it hard to go
Decadian
