Sleeping too much

Hi @Former-Member

Good for you to raise this very important issue about your relationship with your counsellor. The therapeutic relationship can be tricky too!

From a counsellor's perspective, I would suggest that you ask your counsellor about her apparent frustration with you. Tell her that it was a year ago that your previous counsellor disconnected from you and that you are scared it will happen again.

It may be that your counsellor's frustration has little to do with you. She may have challenges in her own life, be tired and in need of a break. Until you voice your concerns calmly and openly, they can't be resolved.

If she is frustrated with lack of progress etc in your sessions, then it is good for her to name that also. It is up to her to take such an issue to supervision and work through it. Supervision is like counselling for counsellors, and ensures best practice and helps reveal any blind spots that counsellors are not seeing.

Try not to build up the worst scenario in your mind but talk to your counsellor and try to work this one through.

Take care,

Frog

Hi @Kurra and thanks

Thanks @Faith-and-Hope, @PeppiPatty, @Former-Member

my counsellor knows about how my last psychologist ended without any closure. She had to do a few sessions with my to work out how I could find closure with it. She has promised me that she'll never abandon me but has also stated that she'll keep working with me as long as I'm making progress. At the moment I've regressed. I think this is most of the reason she is frustrated but I also know she has been flat out at work and it feeling snowed under too. I can't seem to get passed some things at the moment and therapy hasn't been helping much. I know I have to do better but I feel really lost with it all. And now I'm just scared about not being good enough with therapy too. I've tried so hard this week to do all the things I'm meant to but I've fallen in a huge hole. I've been mixing pills and alcohol to get through every night. I'm at a low point all round. She'll be devastated if I tell her this.

Hi @Former-Member

I hear you @Former-Member

I am no expert in this but it worries me a bit when I hear you sounding so fearful of losing your counsellor. The reason I think your fearful is because you put too much emphasis on this relationship, and to me you should be building a life outside of this relationship or otherwise I feel she is not doing her job. Its not easy building a life outside of a safe environment/relationship.

I think the fear comes up for you as you become more dependent on her. I am hoping I am not sounding too harsh here. I am struggling too with similar issues over the years and I know being too dependent on them is not helpful. If this was me, I would be starting to find hobbies/interests away from the therapist and setting myself some goals to achieve.

What are you fearful of @Former-Member ? How do you think you overcome these fears?

1.I know I have to build more structure in my life

2. Develop more interests/hobbies

3. Self care activities

4. Gratitude list

5. Inner child work

I truly feel for you @teej because I struggle with similar issues and abandonment issues. Somtimes you have to find that inner strength and to connect with the little girl inside of you. To be honest you don't need the counsellor - you have all the tools and resources within yourself.

Dearest @Former-Member

Sweetheart, I keep on thinking that you need to give yourself a break it's all about little steps.

I know what I would do but it wouldnt suit you. It takes me a long long time to even work out what I would do.......

On that note.....remember that you have a lifetime of stuff you are cleaning out.....We are so here for you. I know I could speak for @Mazarita and @Faith-and-Hope but may I include @Former-Member @TAB @Former-Member @Former-Member @Silenus @Shaz51 so many more like @Former-Member @chookmojo @Chris @kiki @Former-Member

just a thought with the pills alc, and thoughts @Former-Member ..been there/am there ..It would be affecting your thoughts? ..easy to fall into patterns, things that have worked for me is doing something else ie distract/put it off, eat first .. that puts me off .. walks help, eating sleeping, do you read? .. that can be good distraction or even 'reward' yourself, if I do A B C I can do the bad stuff if still feel like it or try something a little less hard on body maybe. Sorry if off track, and well, just saying..

@Former-Member I hear what you are saying but she has got me starting to do things outside the house. I've gone from spending every day in bed to having activities 5 days a week which she has had to fight for me to be accepted into some of the programs. I know the dependent thing too well. It's my diagnosis DPD. But it's not something I can snap out of. She is the first person to treat me as human with my diagnosis. Everyone else stands 10 feet back like I'm something to be scared of. She has helped me come to terms with it but I'm not ready yet for the big wide world without help. I'd be dead by Christmas. I am trying to do more on my own but I've only just started. I guess I'm just scared of everything at the moment. 💜

Thanks @TAB. I know. It's so hard because it's taken that manic intensity away a bit but maybe replacing it with just sad. And it's cool that your just saying 💜

Thanks @PeppiPatty. I'm struggling to give myself a break at the moment. The only time I seem to breathe is in hospital which is making it hard. The last few days things have got better at home so maybe this is the start of a better phase. Thanks for your time and thoughts💜

I'm sorry if I have upset you @Former-Member - I was just trying to look out for you. I am glad your happy with your therapist. I can hear you really care about her.