Sleeping too much

Oh @Former-Member. You didn't deserve this. This is all about your mum not coping and blaming you because she can't come to terms with everything. That's what's blame is I think, a coping strategy for not being able to deal with your emotions. I did it for years until I heard my kids in their early teens parrot it back to me and use blame and I hated it so I changed but she would need to understand it to change. You've done nothing wrong. It's also very much a generation thing where the stigma of MI is huge, again nothing to do with you. Please be gentle on yourself, with everything you do to keep your family going your mum is missing it. I think you are amazing for still being so kind and very considerate of your family, you are always one step ahead trying to calm those turbulent waters. Thinking of you and sending heaps of hugs 💜🤗💐

Hey sistas

Yes. I'd love it if we can meet to get thru the silly season.

Have picked up your post and this thread @Former-Member .... juggling feeding the troops here, and running late .... I will be on again later and hope to catch you then.

Big hugs ..... ❤️🌹

At least you care enough to ask a question.

I want to write about it ..only bits & pieces so far .. but need the right headspace ... to pull it together coherently ... in a way that sends the right message ... not false hope ... but open people's eyes to care a bit more ...

I really approached so many pdocs .. and had the CATT team out about 4 times over the years for me. I dx myself in the library at 24 with schizoaffective but no-one else would listen lol... I am supposed to get a proper dx now I have been caught doing crazy things last week. No suicide attempts, but very mad behaviours trying not to give in overwhelming constant ideation when kids were little. It would have been frightening. When I se my decd brothers kids I sometimes think maybe I should have just done the job like him, and cleared the deck ... but I hung on. Many plans .... never been hospitalised but that might have been because my previously mad exhusband and mother did not want me to get rest or support, cos tho disturbed I was actually functioning doing the child rearing and the company books and renos. I had a week at the Grey Sisters when my son was 6 months. One lady there said it was mad to send me back into the family .. but what can you do .. Protective Services assessed me as ok ... but didnt hang around. Family Therapy people came out to the home when my brother suicided which was really supportive.

Last week .. my calm Ms capable ... flipped into horror, rage & distress by about 8 different stressors including a negative interaction on forum which "may" have been unintentional ... but thats how high strung I guess I am ..

I asked a friend how she managed to get into the pvt clinic across the road ..I had planned to visit her ... but flipped out first .. she said she was crying at the doctors .. I wish it were that easy for me ... well now at 56 I got me some attention and was told to take more drugs. I did not intend to do it. I have been in a distressed state and walked slightly dangerously in the CBD telling cars to get out of my way .. so sick of cars and being a chauffeur. On the Friday before, the bossy 80 yo asked me to be her driver again and I didnt jump and say "no", but after the Tues event I sent an email ..saying "No".

@Appleblossom You've been doing it so tough and solo for so many years. I really hope your current trajectory with supports helps you get to a place where you find some peace and fulfilment.💜🤗

7 days ... light dose for now. I recognised the need. First time anyone offered them.