Sleeping too much

You are allowed to curl up in a ball like a puddy cat.

Sorry it was like that.

Your mother obviously couldnt get off her guilt to look at child rearing basics, all mixed in with grief. Its hard.

Have the brothers thought of having separate doctors. Confidentiality and all that.

That was a beautiful post. @Former-Member It would be so good to also share music and singing together, not just the tough stuff.

Yes to most of it.

My sibs were found by police in various states of distress and entered the mental health system sis at 17, and bro at 19. I had already left home at 16, and working, studying, living with abusive partner and very experimental with illicit drugs, as was partner. So I visited them in hospital, but I was "functioning" and doing well at work & study. I realise now that it was self-medication and risk-taking including riding motorcycles, but that also made me feel like I had a family .. bikers always stopped for each other on the road.

No, It doesnt upset me as much anymore. I like talking about them. One year when I was finishing my HSC at night at 22 after returning from OS travel for a year, I had a lot of good visits from my sister, who had already finished HSC at home. I was interested in her opinions about psychology & literature ..I was more math/sciencey. We also could talk about our feelings about different placements and rejoining mother. We had only lived together for 4 years, (when I was 12-16). Sometimes she got triggered and phoned her psychologist but mostly we listened to music and played piano etc. We went on a hitching/camping holiday to Eden that year. She was working at tax .. too .. and spent all her money on psychology, was private for a while, but there was no money, mum on widow's pension. She had been in a wealthy foster family which created extra upset for her ... as she lost a lot in living conditions in coming home, and was more critical of mother, where I was in poorer areas and not for as long and more abused, and far more happy to be returned to parents. The actual irony is that she was less abused in care, but still isolated and shy. I spoke to her English Teacher about 10 years ago, which helped. I really respected my sister. She had class, wasnt rude to mum, but wanted essentials she should have had. We could have had a good chance at being good sisters. My mother was a blooming Christmas Queen Peacock, the guilt of the abandonment made her touchy but she had the social workers conned .. from what I can read in our files. The slightest lack of respect mother complained about and leaned on me. I started losing respect for my mother in the way she mismanaged my sister and spoiled my brother which lead him to get away with more and more violence.

I became aware of my own emotional problems a couple of years later 24ish when I was living alone, meditating and reading lots self improvement books. Not mixing at uni much .. very lonely .. barely articulate.... they all seemed silly little rich kids. I did make friends with one rich older lady ... who traded trips in her porsche for maths coaching. I started my therapy privately ... gestalt, then primal .. regularly checked in every few years with psychiatrist and was told I was fine ... then Major Depressive Disorder after the year of suicides when I was 27..