Sleeping too much

Hi @Former-Member

I'm glad you read the post I sent you - it disappeared - I must have posted too much about something

But I do agree people are not going to get a high from an OTC medication -

It is thoughtful that you said your girl would be growing into a strong young woman where ever she is now - I wish I had seen a healthy young man grow up but it was not to be - I wish I could have done more but I could not - there was nothing else I could do and I must remind myself of that

At 46 he would have had the chance to grow to be a man with wisdom and the emotional strength that would be able to help young men who have died in similar circumstances - I had not thought of that before - and your daughter wanting to be baptized shows to me that she knew what was going to happen - she was a brave kid - seeing as she felt this happening

We all have our stories - it is good indeed to share with other people - not to look back at the inadequacies of our lives with guilt but rather tell our stories so that other younger people can read them and overcome their own circumstances in time

It is good to share - the best - our lives are not easy and it is good not to be alone

Decadian

Hi @Former-Member @Former-Member

Just home after a busy day of run-around .... how's it goin' ?

You know, my mum grew up under a mother with mi issues, undiagnosed and untreated in those days. I have mentioned it before, but there is so much info discussed, and especially as we have been getting to know each other, it can get a bit muddled or lost ....

In any case, one of the phases my grandma would go through would be fastidious tidying up of the house to the point where the Saturday shopping trip was no longer possible, or they were up half the night cleaning because it all had to be done before bed ... but it didn't hold true all the time so the rules could change from day to day.

My mother's response to this upbringing was to never prioritise housework ahead of anything else ....

So, we chased the cat off all the ironing, which was piled as it came off the line onto the spare bed in my brother's room, to ffind what we needed to wear, and ironed it just before stepping out of the house if it needed ironing that is.

We often washed clothes when everyone was on the last pair of underwear. We just thought that was normal ...

Mum would run hot soapy water into the sink full of dirty dishes, and leave it to soak. She might change that water five times across the next 24 hours before actually doing the dishes .... and by then there was a big pile of dishes ready to replace them in the next soaking cycle .... I think it was her way of pretending the job was underway .... which it was in a sense ....

Enough of the kitchen table got cleared to eat from when we neede to. A broom crossed the floor occasionally. We straightened papers into piles and threw junk into cupboards if anyone dropped in .... and you know something ? We grew up just fine ....

Its your house, your family, your life ... and housework does get done .... all sounds pretty authentic to me.

❤️🌷💕

Normal is really for each individual .. so that makes a few billion versions of normal. good point @Faith-and-Hope

Because deep grief is an issue for me too ... I feel a bit more connected and healed by reading your posts @Former-Member

maybe your daughter talking less is a natural part of your grieving process ... and that she is ok

and you are ok

Mine grieving is different. My brother and sister have been coming to me in my dreams this year .. and I see that as a good step ... its not all the horror and real blood and death in my dreams ... its quirky real life things that get that weird dream slant but are not scary ... I see it as that I have finally enough head space on my internal hard drive to relax with them in my sleep.

My version of crazy .. but its not hurting anyone.

I slept til 5 today ... but coming good after bad weekend .. I know I need rest when I take a hit .. and I no longer get down on myself about it... back to "normal" meds.

Take care all .. gotta go play some Bach.

Hi @Former-Member

It sounds like you have been on the receiving end of a lot of criticism for a long time, and it can wear down your self-esteem. It sure sounds to me like you were doing the best you could with what you had, and all the ups and downs life has thrown at you.

As parents we can always look back and wonder whether we should have done this, or should have done that .... I meet with other people's disapproval sometimes for having five children ... to some people that is too many to raise, and still provide quality time for each of them .... or that I haven't provided well enough for what my disabled daughter might want out of life ... as if I am being negligent with her self-development ....

My kids were never athletic. I haven't developed a career with my art ability. I lived too far away from my mother and father and didn't visit them often enough. I gave too much of my life over to my husband's culture, including his church. There is not actually a right or wrong over any of these things. We make choices as we go along without being able to predict the future, and you know what ? We are not responsible for how everything turned out .... there are too many variables for that. And other people have had choices along the way that affected us too.

Please try not to be so hard on yourself. I see a lot of what you do as being very sensible. I like that you give yourself over to bed days, but set a limit of two days ... there is integrity in that ....

My kids can make a choice to take up sporting pursuits at any time - their dad was a high achiever in that area - and D1 has taken on a team sport this year for the first time. S1 plays badminton with friends and they both attend Sportsfest weekends with friends ... who knew that would happen ?

I am sorry you are feeling down. Keep praying for more friends to come into your life in the really-real ... meantime, I am really enjoying your company here ....

Sleep well @Former-Member 🌷💕