Sleeping too much

Thanks @Former-Member

Oh I must have muddled garage sale and thought it was at end of Sept ...

Yeah well .. not perfect lol .. and hope ... @Faith-and-Hope 's BFGW goes all well.

I knew the nurse in you would understand med routine.

I was overwhelmed on first day .. terrified of the number of words I did not understand..and stuck to the chart like glue .. but she had webster packs lined up .. epipens sorted..so figured it out gradually ,,no worries now.

I have always been lonely .. but it is actually very nice and a new feeling to be able to hook up on line and chat that way as well ...so technology cant be all bad...

lotsa love

Apple

Hi @Former-Member

I do understand - I have been through so much of the same stuff - I sometimes wonder about us as bereaved mothers - sometimes I feel tired deep down inside - as if I can never get over having my son die the way he did - after such a short troubled life - and my fatigue is residual white noise like the snow on the TV sometimes - which I have been told is left-overs from the Big Bang.

It's something that goes on forever - I get it - and yes - if I visited your house I would look around - and a lot more likely to notice a little blue vase at the back of your wall unit and make a little story in my head about it - I have a couple of little blue vases in my wall unit - kinda dusty but who cares? - and I know just about the whole story of everything in the wall unit - who gave it to me or where I bought it - and when and how I happen to care about it -

I am likely to notice other things - but as long as I have a chair to sit on and a clean cup I am happy.

Let me tell you about the person I used to visit with the cups he just rinsed under the tap - that gave me the horrors actually, He lived in the unit under mine before I lived here - he was dying of cancer and his lounge had very little in it - and I guess it was easy enough for his son to clean and I have no idea what the rest of the place was like - that's not why I used to visit him.

He was intelligent but angry as ex-Viets are - and I would listen and we would talk about books and movies - he was an alcoholic - but this did not matter - he was polite and kind and my age - and it seemed like a terrible waste of life that the war in Vietnam has ruined so many men of my age -

And he died - and I went to his funeral - a celebration of his life - and it was worth going to. And after the service his family realised I was the person who visited him, and I had put a notice in the paper - and for the rest of my life I will remember the humillity of this man - and that's enough - I am starting to cry telling this story

But I went downstairs to see him - not to see how tidy his home was - though - of course - I saw everything

Let's talk about my cat - she has to go to the vet next week - it's time for her yearly check-up and shots - and she has always been a small cat and a bit skinny - never a big eater - but she is not eating enough atm and I think her teeth might need cleaning - most weeks I buy her a chicken wing and break out the smallest bone to give her - (raw) and then cut up the spoonful of meat and she eats that. She has a prescription diet for Feline Lower Urinary Tract Disorder and that is dry food and that is all she is allowed to eat except for the small amount of raw chicken - she has retired from the mousing game - she used to eat her mice and that must have kept her teeth clean - and she is 13 and set in her ways - there is no way I can clean her teeth - not without being clawed to death myself - I know - I can't give her pills anyway

I have to think - performing just for ourselves - I am so glad I went to university - I had to be single-minded and rather selfish to do it - some many people didn't want me to do it - I was supposed to look after my family - and I did - but being a home maker was never enough for me.

And I did two subjects a year for 12 years and graduated with Honours when I was 50 - and for the last years of my studies I had worked full time and had my private students - maybe there are people around who thought I neglected my kids but they were well cared for - I guess going to university did not have the same quality of being a good mother that a university undergraduate has - but I worked when I could too - I had to - usually temporary work - often emergency work - as an accountant - and before computers that was easy because the cash books and the journals all looked the same - and were the same

And now I am alone - my health is not us to doing the renovations you are doing but I am never bored - well - rarely - I got pretty fed up with sinusitis going on for two weeks

But you are giving me things to think about - what is it about my life that is so interesting I like living alone? I think it has something to do with going to university - that was among the best things I did in my interesting life -

Please @Former-Member - keep asking me the questions - they stimulate me

Decadian

🌷💜

Thank you for your care @Former-Member ...... I really appreciate it .... and I really have to walk in the moment to work my way through this and try to keep everybody else steady .....

WH has started talking about faith lately ..... it has come up in conversations around what has been happening with the kids ...... and I am thanking God for these small mercies ..... he has no idea of the effect his illness has had on everything else .... and nobody will hold it against him .... none of us saw it coming ..... it can happen to anyone ..... ❣

He has said about D3 that she has to play the cards she has been dealt ...... whether it seems fair or not .... and that is so right ..... and there he stands not understanding how I'll he is ..... and it's one of the cards D3 has been dealt to play with ..... so strange ..... and yet that's our reality ..... 😳😐 .....

Yes @Former-Member ..... I do appreciate what we have .... these amazing celebrations ..... and I still have to pinch myself that we have made it this far through the year without breaking down ..... with al its complexity ..... a totally mixed blessing .....

What your doctor said is true ..... ripples have gone out across life, eminating from your beautiful D1 ..... knowing you and hearing about her has affected the way I face my days ..... your courage contributes towards mine ..... as I hope mine does towards others too ..... and I can't look at my D3 without thinking also of your D1 ..... they are connected for me now. Not just walking with you, and you with me, in the here and now .... we will be with each other for life ..... 💗💕

And even the way your dr is far more careful and mindful now with his teen asthma patients ..... there will be others who have been affected by J who you may or may not hear about ..... and others yet to come .....

Please consider releasing balloons for your D1 on a special day at your ChFr's house ..... not only to overwrite your previous associations with her street, but also to bring your church community into a stronger understanding about your girl and what it means ..... invite them to bring a plate and celebrate her life ..... in the Orthodox tradition this is done every year .... it keeps the ones who have past over present with the ones still here ..... 🌷💕 .... celebrated and never forgotten .....

So glad you are driving this lady from the church family to Brisbane ..... it is good for you, and good for her .... and more good things can grow from it too .....

Be well. Travel safely ...... and thank you @Former-Member ..... ❤️💕

Wow @Former-Member .... I think I would struggle with that friend a bit .... cos I'm with you .... church belongs outside the walls and on all the days of the week as far as I am concerned. It sounds more like she might not be from a family that debates things .... npmaybe she was raised to tick boxes .... follow along .... go to church every Sunday .... and not question how that might be translated into everyday life .... :face_with_rolling_eyes:😔

And people do tend to get defensive if you have said something that indicates there might be something outside the square to be considered ..... I'm sorry you were faced with that, and I understand you being rattled by it.

I don't go to church sometimes, for a variety of reasons .... and sometimes one of those reasons is privacy. If I am feeling upset, especially if I have just had an argument at home, I can't just cover it up with a smile for everyone .... and if someone asks how I am, I am likely to tear right up on the spot. 😢

It's not that they wouldn't comfort me ..... it's more that I would be better to stop somewhere for a coffee at that time, or go for a walk ..... and visit the church building quietly later, once the storm has passed, to reconcile my state of mind.

I'm glad your son called .... that was a nice surprise ..... and I hope you can work in the lunch. I will be thinking of you. Safe travelling .....

💗💕

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I hope you have a lovely day tomorrow @Former-Member ..... it's a grand thing you're doing there .... and you can scoop a few social bits together for yourself in the one day .... ones that will hopefully nourish your spirit.

I have a friend with leukaemia .... she had stem cells returned a couple of weeks ago, then fell down with the obligatory (it would seem) infection as he immunity rebuilt .... hooefully she'll be in the clear after this ....

Certainly I have been praying for your friend and will continue to do so ..... very challenging to understand why these things happen, but we do know, according to our beliefs, that the world is not functioning according to its original design. 💐💐💐

I'm not sure you need to let your girl go, so much @Former-Member .... maybe it's more a matter that you don't need to hold on so tight .... you can release a little at a time and find that her essence won't leave you ..... it will stay around you becaypusevit is just naturally a part of your world and who you are ....

Yes, from what you are describing I can see quite clearly that you are too vulnerable to the nature of your ch-friend .... so do buy a few balloons in the special colours, when you feel strong enough .... and walk to a pretty spot in that area to release them .... one at a time ..... and you are releasing them to your girl .... sending her gifts ... 💜💗💙💚

Send her other gifts too .... expressions of your heart ... go to places she used to go and float flowers on waterways to her .... toss rose petals, or seeds of lovely flowers like Everlastings, in places where she used to walk .... gently .... easy does it ....

You have a lovely creative mind. As you relax into this direction, you will work out other ways to release your love for her into the world around you without fearing that it will evaporate or drift away .... it's yours and it will stay by you, like Claypan does ....

Big gentle hugs @Former-Member-girl .... walk tall .... 🌷💗💕