Sleeping too much

Hi @Former-Member

That's for the call out - I was around earlier but I kept falling asleep and didn't get very far - I have been feeling unsettled and had no appetite for the last few days - darn - I hit the wall last week - emotionally - and it will take time to head my head where it belongs.

I nearly got hit by a car reversing out of his drive this afternoon - I heard a horn beep beep - but I looked toward the street, not to a drive - it is not legal to reverse out of a drive - but still the woman was running around waving her arms at me yelling "You'va got to listen - you'va got to listen - you a - you a listen to me" - I turned and said "No - I don't" and kept walking -

My habit of non-argument it better in the long run - if someone beleives a wrong is right I am not about to argue - I save that for times when I have to have a say - I feel okay about that - but I did not need it.

So @Former-Member

My stars that is a lot of work - hard work - it sounds as if you are past tired - "move the limbs" etc - yet you are working like a Trojan - or was that the Greeks - whatever - hard work - I can't see you post right now - but I am thinking of you

@Former-Member - Hi again -

I am glad your son is in Head Space - I don't know a lot about that yet - I am really gaining an education here - I am certainly glad I am - and I wish you and your son the best with that

@Faith-and-Hope

I have you in my prayers - I seem to keep seeing things like your pink flowers all over the place and this reminds me to see up a few thoughts - you are in my mind now so the prayers will keep happening - I believe in the power of prayers

Decadian

Hi @Former-Member Hi @Decadian Glad the car missed you, must have been a fright for you.

@Former-Member I was going to have an early night, now I'm so upset. It was family via a message. I can't wait to see pschologist tomorrow. I officially have NO family, except hubby and daughter. I don't wish to have family. You can all be my family, if you'll have me. Hehe!

I'm here @Former-Member

I slept for a couple of hours while I thought I was watching TV - and so I am not in a hurry to go to bed yet - so I can chat for a while

Dec

Why are family so hurtful. I haven't done anythings wrong, yet I'm made out to be the wrong one. Funny thing is I'm the one who has PTSD and all the rest and they just treat me like I'm a nobody. I have enough selfesteem to know that I'm not a nobody, but I need to make a way that family can no longer send messages at all.

I would love to move away from here, but it's not that easy. My biggest wish would be to sell and move, and start afresh somewhere else. I'm just not well enough to make the arrangements. Hubby would move, but I have to do all the arranging, daughter happy to move too. Oh, if only it were easier

I understand @Former-Member

I found my ex to be a pain in the tail - I recognise now that he had his own issues and was probably depressed but I was really caught up myself and didn't understand and didn't care

My family of origin did not care - or if they did they did not show it - so I know that with PTSD myself that I was not the one in the wrong - PTSD is not bad behaviour - you have had trauma in your past that presents in unpleasant ways - flash backs - unwanted memories stalking your dreams etc - and yet

Why do people do that? Apparently I did strange things they did not understand which - I was told - was supposed to drive me away - but I left as any adult would when people are nasty and dismissive

I know you are a fine person - you are about other people and it is not at all fair to be dismissed by your family

I have no idea people behave that way and how they can single out one member and treat them badly

And yes - I did get a fright in the afternoon when that car nearly drove into me - but I have kept my self-esteem by not getting into a fight about it

Let's know a bit more about what happened

Dec

Hi @Former-Member. I know that can't change what just happened for you but last week I ended up on lifeline and falling back in thoughts of SH after an interaction with family. It destroyed me. I am having to learn and unlearn things that related to my upbringing thus thus the reparenting. Only today though my therapist highlighted that it's my temperament that meant I care so deeply and am affected by others, I would think that's the same for you. She pointed out this is not bad, it is mostly seen to be a great characteristic. Perhaps although youre triggered right now it could be helpful to see it as characteristics (kind, gentle, caring) that is your gift that your family don't have. You are doing ok without them and that's ok. Yep, I once wrote on here that people on here were my tribe, I guess I feel the same as you with the feeling of family. Stay strong @Former-Member, your family are not worth this distress. Sending hugs💜😊

@Former-Member Can you block on your phone your families numbers so they can't get through? I can understand you wanting to start again but maybe you can without having to move. I'm hoping that seeing this psychologist will help with this, they may help you with dealing with this situation so you don't have to deal with it again too, here's hoping 💜😊

Thankyou @Former-Member @Decadian I cant have them in my life at all. it's so devastating. I dont think that I could ever get well with any of them in my life. A bit sad for daughter, but she sees how they are towards me and doesnt want anything to do with them either. I gave her the choice. Gosh its nearly midnight. I might have to go off and see if I can have a bit of a cry before I sleep. Have to get up early tomorrow. If I cant sleep,I'll be on later, but good night to you all, if youre heading off to bed. Thankyou for chatting. You all are friends to me more than in real life, I have none at the moment. Too hurtful to have them. Im too sensitive. I know that will change as I continue with psychologist and I will make new friends some day. But thankyou to all of you for being a friend to me and for being there for me. Love to you all.

Id love to chat more, if I didnt have to get up so early. xoxoxoxoxox

Hi @Former-Member

I have been a bit down for a few days - but I had a good chat with Life Line - and feel better tonight - and I was nearly hit by a car reversing out of a drive - so that was not nice - I am glad I didn't get hit though - that would have put more than a dint in the day

That is hard that your memories were so repressed you have lost your memories up until 5 years ago and now are making a new - no - creating a new life and identity - I have not had to go that far - just accept what my mother did was wrong - and let it go - which I think took about 18 months for the whole process

So whatever happened in the past must have hurt you terribly - and I cannot imagine that - in fact - since I have been a member here - and felt a valued member here - I wonder how I did not fail in some terrible way - terrible in the sense that I might have lost my memories - rather knowing a lot and working hard to improve my life - which I did without increasing my self-esteem for most of my life

The education I am gaining here is invaluble - it's late in my life now and I wonder if I will ever have the chance to really educate other people about how lonely and frustrating it is to suffer disassocitation as you have - or even tell my own story. The thing is that the people who really need to know this do not think it applies to them because they are "normal" - and there is not sane definition of normal

I can't imagine the loss of your earlier life and what it is like to put what you can remember into a new life - but I truly admire you and what you are doing

Decadian