Sleeping too much

@Decadian, @Appleblossom @Former-Member and anyone else

this is in response to something @Decadian wrote about not knowing much about my past. I guess I've kept my triggering event kind of quiet although I disclosed it once on night shift a very long time ago. This Thursday it will be the fifth anniversary of the events that changed my life but it's not a trauma that happened to me as such. This event coupled with a couple of other things required me to get counselling as I didn't cope with it. As I became awakened to my dysfunction ( and personality disorders) I unravelled and everything became hugely amplified for me. I had no concept of negative emotions and didn't experience them well with the amplification thus the SI began and SH as a coping strategy. Until that point I had been very much living in a bubble and had been over protected from anything negative for my whole life. So there are no real dark hidden secrets but I was returned to the functioning of about a 12 year old. Much of my therapy now is about reparenting me so I can grow up and move forwards again. Sometimes the smallest things trigger me and I carry so much shame for having never grown up or developing resilience. This is why I respect and treasure the your stories (and so many others) because you have done it all on your own and against the odds. It gives me hope and strength some days to read about your journeys and helps me restore faith in humanity and overcoming adversity.

You're sounding good and positive @Former-Member. I hope things keep going well. Enjoy that sun🌞💜😊

@Former-Member

It sounds completely normal for you to struggle with tasks if your front door and back steps are not up to scratch.

And the police did not come back to fix the door??? I guess they thought it enough to save you.

I have had a few destruction jobs to fix after my brother went ape a few times ... and then after little kids messed up things (not actually my girls) or I went ape ... I just fixed them up the same ... picked up the broken pieces .... painted ... fixed the plaster whatever it was ... did the bloke work.

Be proud and enjoy BOTH the comfort & satisfaction of YOUR JOBS DONE.

Way to go @Former-Member

Hi Everyone 😊

Lovely to come back on and hear bits and pieces of everyone's day ... mine was spent in a bit of a mess of mopping up things that weren't operating smoothly, and getting errands done out of the house. I had to drop something off at a friend's house who lives in a more rural area than we do. It was good to take a bit of a drive and "stretch my legs" in that way .... love seeing big trees and greenery .....

@Former-Member .... thanks for sharing more of your story with us .... we all come from such diverse backgrounds and circumstances .... and yet there are echoes of common experiences that happen too ... we're all learning .... growing ....

❤️

Hi @Former-Member

Thanks for giving us some insight into your past life - that was brave - and you are brave over-coming you past - I did not know what disasociation meant - I have vivid memories - and now you are in the process of dealing with all of this

I was tempted to say "well done" - I think you are doing well but you have a long way to go still - because of what you have written - now I understand what you are battling with - to a degree -

This is hard work - I had repressed memories - I could not remember them while my mother was alive - it was too scary - but the work of dealing with the past we cannot remember for whatever reason is always hard yards

Thanks again for sharing this

Decadian

Thanks @Decadian,

to a degree I have repressed my life before what I call dday. It's hard for me to remember so much stuff before all this. I imagine as I deal with life better they'll come back but it's a bit like my life only started 5 years ago now as life before that has all but disappeared and it will never come back. So here I am trying to create a new life and identity. I don't at what level I dissociate anymore I think I'm getting past that part more by natural progression rather than specific therapy. Mostly now for me it's emotion regulation, developing resilience and coping strategies for living rather than waiting to die as I was before.

How are you travelling?

Hi @Former-Member, I saw you deleted your post, I know it gets a bit confusing on here as you hit reply to a post and it ends up a long way down from that topic. Please don't worry about it. I hope you are doing ok. Feel free to introduce yourself if you want. Take care 💜😊

Hi. Is anyone still on here? Just had a huge upset, not with hubby or daughter. I need you lovely ladies to chat to, feeling devastated, want to cry, but cant.

I'm here @Former-Member. Go ahead if you want